Dear Uncle Ezra - Questions for Tuesday, April 30, 2002

Dear Uncle Ezra,

I thought some of your readers might be interested in some upcoming events at Suicide Prevention and Crisis Service (SPCS).  Thanks for passing on the word to those who might benefit.

The first week of May is National Suicide Prevention Week. Two important community events will occur:

Seventh Annual Suicide Survivor's Day. Featuring Jane Butler, author of A Force Unfamiliar To Me: A Cautionary Tale, who will present "A Family's Story of Suicide Loss" followed by a panel of local parents who have experienced the death of a child by suicide. Everyone touched by suicide is encouraged to come. The open community program will be followed by a gathering of people who have experienced a loved one's death by suicide (12:15-2:00pm). Saturday, May 4, 2002, 10 am-Noon, Tompkins County Library Community Meeting Room. For more information on Survivors Day or the ongoing after suicide support group, call Postvention Coordinator Kris Bertelsen at 272-1505, extension 17.

Third Annual Walk for Violence Prevention. SPCS is hosting a Walk for Violence Prevention on Saturday, May 11 to raise awareness of violence issues and funds for SPCS' work in preventing violence and helping the victims and survivors of violence. A Wall of Remembrance will add a new dimension to this year's walk. Participants are invited to remember those who have died traumatically by bringing a photo, poem, or other tangible memento. Rubin Reyes will be the featured speaker this year. Mr. Reyes, a leader in the NYS Office of Children and Family Services, served until recently as Director of the MacCormick Center and is now Director of the SHJ Youth Leadership Academy. He has been active in advocacy and program development for violence prevention for years. Saturday, May 11, 2002, 10 AM to Noon.  Meet at Stewart Park to begin walk through downtown Ithaca. Brochures are available at 124 East Court Street or www.ithaca.ny.us/Orgs/SPCS/walk2002.htm or by emailing spcs2@juno.com or by calling 272-1505.

                                                                  Unsigned

Dear N,

Thank you for spreading the word - I'm happy to further the cause. Life is a treasure. Why search any further?

Uncle Ezra

Dear Bart,

Yes, you may bring a small cooler to the slope. However, you must be 21, and it can have no more than 6 unopened cans of beer in it, and they all must belong to you. It's a good idea to have water or soda to quench your thirst and to save the alcoholic drinks for slower sipping. Know your limits!

Uncle Ezra

Hi Uncle Ezra,

I wanted to comment about 04/23/02 Q03 regarding grade inflation.

I didn't know how rampant grade inflation was at the other Ivies until I left Cornell.  I was a math major with a 3.6 GPA and I did two independent studies, took an honors seminar, and did a senior thesis. I did not recieve honors from the Arts College, although I did graduate with distinction.  There were 3 people who received honors in my department the year I graduated, out of about 100 math majors.  From what I recall, one had discovered a new type of computer chip or something closely related.

I was upset when I did not receive honors because I thought I deserved it.  My boyfriend, a Princeton grad, had a 3.3 GPA and received high honors for his mandatory senior thesis of 6 credits over two semesters in ORIE.  At first, I was very upset by this anomaly.  It seemed so unfair!  What I now realize is that my Cornell education is far superior because I wasn't 'spoon-fed' honors.  I'm glad Cornell has such high standards.  My boyfriend and other Harvard/Princeton/Yale grads who get Bs and As no matter what the quality of their work couldn't deal with the hard work required in my field.  They had no idea how to approach difficult problems and possessed poor analytical skills (although their degrees from Harvard/Yale/Princeton at times precluded seriously hard work!).

Although I think Cornell needs improvement in advising in the Arts College and needs to publicize more clearly the standards required for honors, I want to advise current Cornell students that the tough nature of Cornell will help in the long run.  Any GPA from Cornell is superior to the same GPA from another Ivy.  I can tell you that business people in the real world DO realize this.  Surviving Cornell, with or without honors, is enough to open many doors even if you cant state 'cum laude' on your resume.  Don't worry!

                                                              --Been there

Dear Been there,

Cornell didn't give you honors, but you heap them back on us! That is a sign of superior character, and I unofficially dub you "honorable." I will pass your comments on to the appropriate offices. Thanks for giving back.

Uncle Ezra

Dear Botanist,

Did you look closely at the leaves and stems of the plant? They should be very un-grass-like. What Cornell Plantations Natural Area Manger Bob Wesley thinks you saw is slender speedwell (Veronica filiformis). If you want to be more certain, you can get back to him or me with a description of the details of the stems, leaves and flowers. Happy May Day!

May Day song by Jack Hardy

There's May Day and May wine And may I please come home? The briar grows before the rose And neither grows alone. We'll dance tonight 'til we faint in the light Of dawn's sweet song of spring, Round the May Pole like a day stole Like our feet are borne of wings.

Uncle Ezra

Dear One,

I couldn't have said it better myself. Contraceptive personality -- is that a new DSM mental health diagnostic category?

Uncle Ezra

Dear uncle ezra,

I think this debate about there not being hot girls at Cornell is incrediably stupid. If these men are comparing average Cornell Women with models then they are stupider than i thought.

First of all, how are these men defining hot? I worked for a short time (one summer) as a "professional model" (if you define a professional model as a person who gets paid to walk down runways) and was offered a 2-year contract with one of the "big three" modeling companies. Let me tell Uncle Ezra readers one thing: models are not "pretty" or even much hotter than most women i've met.

Models are chosen because of three things: their height (about 5'8" and up), their weight (under 120 pounds) and their overall body shape and how that shape will look in various outfits. They are not chosen for pretty faces. I don't mean to rat down on the women i worked with that summer- but without their makeup and up close they weren't conventionally pretty at all. They weren't ugly (but then i've never met a women without pretty attributes) but they weren't drop dead gorgeous either. They had, as an agent told me, faces that could be worked with and over. Models don't model their faces. they model clothing.

Secondly, models on runways look so great because of a number of things: the lighting and the fact that each outfit is tailored and chosen specifically for them. Now if every american woman had the option of going to the department store, choosing an outfit (or having one designed specifically for her) in a material (from a selection of millions of fabrics) that was attractive on her, and then having that outfit CUSTOM TAILORED to exactly fit her (for hours), all american women would look like models. Then she would of course be worked over for makeup for about 2 hours before leaving the house everyday. (Of course, for a runway show this is done over and over and over- for one outfit a young woman may spend 20 hours having it tailored and makeup "designed" for the outfit before the show.) And of course, this entire process would be overseen by one of the greatest fashion designers in the world, who went to school and has spent his/her life making women look "good".

Thirdly, these women are what i like to refer to as surgically "enhanced". Most modeling companies let you in only if you agree to undergo surgery- including rib and molar removal (to get that thin sunk-in in look and make high cheekbones).

Women models in magazines are airbrushed on top of this, and for every picture in a magazine probably 200-300 shots were taken.

What makes models look so hot to men then, if i say i've got prettier friends than i had co-worker-models that summer? Because models are coached "when you get out there, if you believe that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, then the world will believe it too". Models have to have confidence (at least when on the stage). I dare anyone to pull on an outfit that is totally bizarre and walk out on a stage with 200 people without confidence. you will cry. That's what i think American women lack- is confidence in what looks they have (thanks in part to arrogant men who think there are no hot women at cornell, in the world, except in playboy.. etc...). Each woman looks at pictures in magazines and see's her own faults. Models have faults, but they are chosen for jobs that hide those faults. No one feels beautiful 24-7. But american woman look at these pictures and think about their faults. All woman can be "beautiful" in some aspect. As my male friends have asserted- woman with confidence are beautiful. If you think that you are beautiful- no one can mess with your attitude.

Why is there such an incredible focus on looks? If men are looking for women to have lasting relationships with, i suggest they find an "attractive" woman by looking at her personality, potential, attitude and lastly looks. After all, all models are basically under 26.

SO CORNELL WOMEN START THINKING THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, BECAUSE YOU ARE!!! and to that arrogant writer who says that cornell women are ugly- how "hot" are you?

Unsigned

Dear Model,

So, chipmunk cheeks are not in? Not that I ever thought about it, but every time I eat a sub I'll be glad I don't need to be surgically enhanced for this job. All I need I can get through Cornell Wellness. You, my dear,
are a very lovely person for sharing your wisdom with us.

Uncle Ezra

Dear favorite nephew,

It appears that the colors for cream soda are as varied and interchangeable as the name cream (or creme) depending where you read it.  According to David Brown, Extension Associate in Food Science, "as close as I can determine there is no standard for the color of creme soda.  It is dependent on the manufacturer and how they want it to appear in their product line.  In the US I have seen it in light brown, red and clear colors.  I have never seen it here in a green color.  The brown color may vary from a pale tint to one that approaches a dark brown color.  Usually the manufacturer carries the color scheme of the creme soda inside to the labeling done on the outside (ie. red lettering if red or brown lettering if brown)."

Since the 900 pound gorilla for most companies is "what sells the product", soda manufacturers may alter the color based on the expectations of that particular country.  What do they expect cream soda to look like?  What is the norm, or the popular seller in that particular country?  Have you ever visited the Coca-Cola museum in Atlanta, Georgia?  My favorite part is going to the tasting room where you can try Coca-Cola products including their fruit soda Fanta from all over the world.  They have every fruit flavor of Fanta imaginable from Lychee Nut to Papaya.  You never see those flavors in your res. hall vending machine, but they sell it somewhere in the world!

Beware of the marketing color drift into alcoholic beverages.  Those fruity colorful malt beverages contain 6% alcohol (twice what's in a can or beer or glass of wine), so keep to fruit juice or soda when you're thirsty.

Uncle Ezra

Dear yac niece,

Thank you for your fine comments about my column. It is always nice to hear positive feedback! Can you believe that you are already a senior? Have the past 8 semesters passed quickly for you?

Don't worry about your study abroad semester impacting your grade point average (GPA) or your eligibility for Phi Beta Kappa (PBK). Study abroad courses or any course taken at another university (even if it fulfills a distribution requirement) is not calculated into your GPA.

Studying abroad for a semester or two also does not mean that you are ineligible for Phi Beta Kappa. The College of Arts and Sciences takes the degree GPA and determines the top 10% of the class for PBK eligibility. Your degree GPA would be calculated based on the courses from your semesters at Cornell.

For additional questions about your grade point average, diploma, and distinctions, contact your college registrar (for Arts, that's in 55 Goldwin Smith Hall).

Uncle Ezra

Dear Ed.M 2 B,

I contacted the graduation gurus --the Commencement Office staff-- about your question.  They said that if you are receiving a degree from another institution, typically you wear the robes of the institution that you are graduating from.  This is the tradition, at least at Cornell.  So, if you were receiving X degree from Cornell, you would wear a Cornell robe (even if you had a BS or masters from a prior institution).  If you are receiving a degree from Harvard and they are encouraging you to wear a Cornell robe, that is likely a tradition unique to them, and they might be able to help you with the history of why.

However, if you are participating in a graduation ceremony (but not actually receiving a degree), it is appropriate to wear the robes from the university where you received your degree.  You may recall from Cornell graduation that the faculty who march are wearing all different types of robes.

In addition, in special cases where someone is representing Cornell University at another institution's graduation ceremony, the university may lend them the Cornell hood and robes to wear (even if they did not receive a graduate degree from Cornell).

I hope that this helps you with your question.  Certainly one of my favorite parts of attending Commencement is to see the faculty process in all of their different robes, particularly the unique variations on the graduation caps!  That, of course, and all of the smiling faces on the graduates, their families and friends. Ahhh...'tis the season!

Congratulations on your graduation!

Uncle Ezra

hi uncle ezra:

i have a question about my health. i started exercising last semester, and have been doing really well consistency-wise. i usually never missed a day. in the past couple of months, i have gotten more and more ambitious about it, to the point where it worries me sometimes. when i started out, i was doing 1/2 hour to 1 hour a day; i usually have to get in about 3-4 hours a day now. it's kind of hard to schedule this in, but i'm really dedicated to do it. i worry about what might happen if i don't go. plus, i count the calories that i eat in a day, especially the not so good stuff like candy, and make sure i burn everything off and then some. part of me says this is not good, but then another part does not want to change. i really admire world class athletes and how much they train. so why is it ok for them but not for me?

but also, i think i might be harming myself, especially since i have experienced some changes in my body that are not so good. please let me know what you think.

Unsigned

Dear Niece,

I'm glad you have decided to write and ask about your concerns.  It is a very healthy part of you that has noticed when a boundary has been crossed such that you may be in danger.  You didn't mention specifics about the changes you have noticed, but I imagine they may be worrisome.  There is a condition called  exercise bulimia which has these characteristics you report, such as burning more calories than you consume.  Exercise is a good thing, but like almost everything else, excess is not healthy.   It's a good idea to visit a medical doctor, who can advise you about what is happening with your body. ASAP.

Exercise at the level of 3-4 hours a day is more than most athletes need--only a few of Cornell's athletic teams train that many hours daily, and their training is always supervised by coaches and athletic trainers. Athletics personnel are skilled in the types of exercise, length of exercise, and other factors needed to maximize performance and prevent injury, including good nutrition and rest.  Also, most teams take at least one day off training each week.

You could ask yourself the following questions to evaluate whether your level of exercise is actually good for you: 1) What is the real reason you are exercising?  Health, fitness and sports performance are good reasons, but if those are being compromised by overdoing it, then there may be something else going on.  2) Do you feel a need to exercise at the expense of other beneficial activities, like studying, socializing, just relaxing or sleeping?  Would you feel extremely upset or nervous if you didn't exercise?  Do you exercise when injured or to the point of injury?  Or do you use exercise to compensate for caloric intake?

A "yes" answer to any of the questions in (2) suggests that your exercise may be excessive or serving a compulsive need. By that, I mean that you may be, perhaps even unconsciously,  using your exercise to manage anxiety or to compensate for other difficult areas of your life. Short-term and long-term risks to health are very real and include muscle damage, hormonal disturbance, stress fractures, osteoporosis, and other injuries.  Excessive exercise is also a risk to psychological, social and academic well-being.

A medical professional, therapist, or nutritionist can help evaluate your exercise program and suggest ways to integrate exercise as a healthy component in your day.  At Cornell, contact Gannett medical and CAPS staff or the Cornell Healthy Eating Program by calling 255-5155. Cornell's Healthy Eating Program (CHEP) information will be available at the Gannett website soon.  The National Eating Disorders Association has information at: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/custom/customPages/viewPage.asp?WebPage_ID=337

I encourage you to get information and to talk to someone as soon as possible to plan for healthy management of your health and well-being. From that site: 10 "Will-Powers" for Improving Body Image by Michael Levine, Ph.D., and Linda Smolak, Ph.D. Taking care of your body and doing things you enjoy will enable you to enjoy a happy, participatory life.  Twice a day, everyday:

I will ask myself: "Am I benefiting from focusing on what I believe are the flaws in my body weight or shape?"

I will think of three reasons why it is ridiculous for me to believe that thinner people are happier or "better."

I will repeat these reasons to myself whenever I feel the urge to compare my body shape to someone else`s.

I will spend less and less time in front of mirrors--especially when they are making me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious about my body.

I will exercise for the joy of feeling my body move and grow stronger.

I will not exercise simply to lose weight, purge fat from my body, or to "make-up for" calories I have eaten.

I will participate in activities that I enjoy, even if they call attention to my weight and shape.

I will constantly remind myself that I deserve to do things I enjoy, like dancing, swimming, etc., no matter what my shape or size!

I will refuse to wear clothes that are uncomfortable or that I do not like but wear simply because they divert attention from my weight or shape.

I will wear clothes that are comfortable and that make me feel comfortable in my body.

I will list 5-10 good qualities that I have, such as understanding, intelligence, or creativity.

I will repeat these to myself whenever I start to feel bad about my body.

I will practice taking people seriously for what they say, feel, and do, not for how slender, or "well put together" they appear.

I will surround myself with people and things that make me feel good about myself and my abilities.

When I am around people and things that support me and make me feel good, I will be less likely to base my self-esteem on the way my body looks.

I will treat my body with respect and kindness.

I will feed it, keep it active, and listen to its needs.

I will remember that my body is the vehicle that will carry me to my dreams!

Uncle Ezra