Dear FS,

I am certainly glad that you wrote in about this issue before the semester goes any further.  College courses are tough without this kind of trouble to add to the stress.  You need concrete help and not subjective comments about  your character.  You certainly don't have to put up with any stories or comments about any  kind of sexual activity. And any insinuation of exchanging personal favors for grades is way out of line.  Cornell's sexual harassment definitions and a full text of the new procedures is available at: http://www.univco.cornell.edu/policy/SH.htm

Of course, talking to the TA and telling him that you do not want to hear this language or this type of suggestion is the best first step. That is easier said than done. If you need emotional support or a second party to help you out, you can go to Gannett and get a crisis appointment, and/or talk to Nina Cummings (5-1212), the Victim Advocate.  She can talk about what happened, and she can help you decide what you want to do and how to do it.  She can accompany you to talk to the TA, prof, or Dean.  You can also send an e-mail to . The website is: http://www.gannett.cornell.edu/victimadvocate/

I spoke with the Dean who thanked me for bringing your situation to their attention, and they sincerely hope that you will respond in as constructive a manner as possible. Although you could consider speaking directly with the professor of the course, the College recommends that you instead talk with one of the staff/faculty trained to be helpful, and to know the many approaches and resources available to solve this kind of problem. If in their judgement (they know many of the faculty members well enough to guess how he/she might react to the allegation) the faculty member should become involved immediately, the individual would make that recommendation. But if they do not think that would be an effective response, they will suggest an alternative approach. I will send you names of these people.

Please be assured that the College finds the situation that you describe absolutely unacceptable, as I did. The College would like to work with you to solve the immediate problems as swiftly as possible, and to ensure that the TA in question does not repeat such behavior with other students. You certainly should not forget the "whole incident".  Having knowledge about an incident like this requires that we all do something.  At the very least you should be aware of the possible resources and courses of action that you may choose to take. Getting support to make that decision about what to do is important because your emotional reactions, social needs, feelings of victimization, fears of reprisal, and feelings of disempowerment may all play into an immediately seemingly safe but in the long-term less effective choice.

Please let me know what else I can do to help you resolve this issue and to get the kind of support you need to do your best this semester. Remember to keep your focus on your personal goals, as distracting as this annoyance may be.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear curious alumnus,

Take a look around http://www.campuslife.cornell.edu.  To quote from that page:

"Residential opportunities abound at Cornell. University housing includes both undergraduate and graduate residence areas. There are many styles of living to choose from and these web pages will help you review some of the possibilities.

"For undergraduates there are traditional residence halls, program houses, and cooperative residences. In addition, there are fraternities and sororities, as well as rooms and apartments off campus. If you are a first-year student, you will reside on north campus in one of the program houses or traditional residence halls - where you will find an abundance of resources, delicious and nutritious foods, fun things to do, and many other social and academic opportunities. The Class of 2006 will begin many new traditions at Cornell as this is the beginning of a new generation of Cornellians living on North Campus!

"Graduate housing includes residences for single students in both a residence hall setting and in apartments. For those students who are in a domestic relationship our apartment settings are the choice. In all the graduate areas there is a strong emphasis upon neighborhood and community, service and resources to residents, programs for all members of the graduate residential area and support for academic success.

"One of the university's primary missions is to provide a great residential experience while educating and challenging Cornell students to achieve academic and personal growth."

You can see a great picture of the new North Campus dorms at http://campuslife.cornell.edu/housing_residential/fire_and_ice.asp. Come back and visit and we'll give you a real tour!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Friend,

Telemarketing can be more than annoying, as it makes us realize how we cannot trust those who come into the "safety" of our own homes, by mail, phone or in person. Con artists are even more of a danger, as they bilk unwitting citizens of large amounts of money, life insurance benefits, pensions or annuities, 'nest eggs', home equity or other tangible property.

You are in no way obligated to send the $20.  You have the right to choose how and when to spend your own money. A legitimate charity would never send a donor to collections, and an illegitimate one would only be exposing themselves by doing so. The New York State Attorney General's office can help you with consumer fraud.  Their website is http://www.oag.state.ny.us.  Or call the Cooperative Extension Consumer Help Hotline at 272-2292.  The New York State Consumer Protection Board is at 518-474-8583.  Reporting fraud and scams can help protect others.

You can ask to be on a "Do Not Call' list by writing to Direct Marketing Association's Telephone Preference Service, PO Box 9014, Farmingdale, NY 11735-9014.  Then you can tell the telemarketer you are on the list and you can report the phone call as being in violation of this list.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear new me,

Congratulations on turning over a new leaf!  After you have paid off all your old bills, you're ready to start afresh.  Creditors are willing to arrange terms as long as you demonstrate a sincere willingness to make good. Even if you can somehow get around making good, until you do this, you have not taken the psychological responsibility of paying for what you received.

Next, work up a TRUE budget of income and expenses. Income includes all sources (birthday gifts, odd jobs?) and expenses include cups of coffee or cokes, newspapers, all bills including the ones that only come once or twice a year, repairs, health care (massages), haircuts and clothes and books and entertainment and gifts.  These are the things that get you in trouble.  One way to keep a real record is to put all receipts in a box and tally them monthly or so.  If you use a credit card for gas or groceries, you have a record sent to you each month!  Do the addition and subtraction and multiply the monthly amount by 12 for a yearly total, or divide by 4 for an idea of your weekly position.  Now, you know how much you have to spend on extras, and you can more easily say no when the question arises.  Or borrow from one category to splurge in another.  Or do an odd job to pay for a special trip, for example.

There are many credit card companies willing to offer you a card despite your history.  They hope you'll have trouble again and they can tack high interest charges onto your monthly bills. But you're too smart for that now.  You'll get the card, use it for your normal expenses like groceries and gas, and pay if off promptly each month. Soon, you'll have a good credit rating again and you can qualify for better cards with lower interest rates (which you'll never use anyway because you will always plan and budget for your needs).  When you do take a loan or credit, make sure you know in advance how you will pay for it, for example school loans are taken with the hopes of getting a good salary to pay it off later.

Local banks are more willing to extend credit than multinational concerns, and if you take a loan from a parent and pay it back, that counts as good credit, too.

I wish you the best with your new, responsible life.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Next,

I can hardly wait to read your first novel!  Have you published anything yet?  Evaluating the top schools for Creative Writing should be more of an art than a science, and therefore subject to your own personal tastes and criteria. You would want to study under a teacher whose interests match your own and whose style you admire. How do you measure the outcome of "competitive"?  Is it fame of graduates, number of works published, or positions held?  Cornell's program is described at http://www.gradschool.cornell.edu/grad/fields_1/english.html.

To look at some published evaluations, there's a book in the English Graduate Coordinator's office, Room 250 Goldwin Smith Hall. The library reference section will also have books on college program rankings. The O/K/U Reference Services Division suggest you can search the web using a search engine such as Google, or take a look at the latest Gourman Report, in Olin and Uris Ref at LB2331.62 G72 +. They usually warn people that the Gourman Report is basically one person's rankings without a clearly explained methodology.  You might also look at  "The AWP Official Guide to Writing Programs" in Olin and Uris Ref PN181 .A84 +. It provides pretty thorough information about all the writing programs in the U.S., who's where, etc.  It's probably much more helpful and informative than an arbitrary list of rankings. You can look at US News and World Report rankings at http://www.usnews.com/usnews/edu/grad/rankings/arts/brief/creat_brief.php, where they rank for 1997: 1) University of Iowa 4.5/5; 2) Johns Hopkins University (Md.) 4.2/5; 3) University of Houston 4.2/5; 4) Columbia University (NY) 4.1/5 and 5) University of Virginia 4.1/5.

I hope you find some time this summer to write and have some adventures to write about.  Best of luck to you!

"Dislike, displeasure, resentment, fault-finding, imagination, passionate remonstrance, a sense of injustice -- they all make fine fuel .....Life can't ever really defeat a writer who's in love with writing."           --Edna Ferber

Uncle Ezra