Uncle Ezra   

Dear impoverished,

Starving artists and starving students hold a revered place in our society.  Why?  Because they are persons with strong value systems, with clear goals and priorities.  They are willing to work hard and make short-term sacrifices to achieve their long-term goals.  Couples develop stratiegies to allow for each of them to work on these goals, supporting one another in times of special needs.  Make sure you get your turn later on!

Check with the local high school teachers for tutoring jobs.  Make yourself a business card and flyer describing your skills and the classes for which you can tutor.  You can contact the staff at the Learning Strategies Center.  You can also try Ithaca College and Tompkins Cortland Community College professors. You would make more in the long run doing this than pizza delivery.  Some students find receptionist or night clerk jobs give them time to study while earning money.  Since you also have a family life to consider, do be careful about keeping some couples time to keep you both sane. 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Stressed,

Cornell Abroad (255-6224), cuabroad@cornell.edu, http://www.einaudi.cornell.edu/cuabroad can answer your questions about programs in other countries.  Study abroad programs aren't really "vacations," as there is work required.  There are volunteer and work abroad programs, too, that might give you more of a break. If you are a native English speaker, you can teach conversational English in a foreign country as a very valued resource.  

If your need a real vacation from the stress of demands, take some recreational time off and get away to a new environment where you can replenish your spirits.  Bike, hike or kayak, read a good book or just read the New York Times all day. Spend time with family or friends. Tour a museum and take in a play. 

The symptoms you mention call for some immediate attention.  Your say you're getting treatment, but don't mention what kind.  It sounds like a massage could do wonders for you.  There are many wonderful practitioners in the Ithaca area. Call the Massage School for referrals (http://schools.naturalhealers.com/fingerlakes/).

The other way to beat stress is to learn techniques to relax yourself, wherever and whenever.  These include deep breathing, stretching or meditation.  There are groups on campus that meditate together.  Additionally, there are meditational exercise groups (yoga, tai chi) through the Wellenss Center. Organizing your time can help you create space to relax, exercise, recreate, study and socialize within each day. 

I hope your can work out the tightness and work out a good plan!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear particularly interested,

Sex is a way two people have of expressing deep feelings to one another.  In break-up phase, both persons are feeling some degree of vulnerability, hurt, anger, confusion, guilt, sadness and maybe even some relief, peace, hope and clarity.  The positions in this phase are still wobbly -- not yet on solid ground, but trying to get there. The dumper may be feeling more of the positives of that list, while the dumpee may be feeling more rejection and hurt and anger, but not necessarily. Either way, feelings are stirred up and close to the surface.

Sex at this time will serve to release some of these feelings.  Do you want to express these feelings with your x-partner and experience the closeness from sharing these intimacies? Will it be harder to draw the line again and say "no more" or "let's find someone else to do this with next time"?  If, as Neil Sedaka's song says, "Breaking up is hard to do", then are you a glutton for punishment?  Is your partner the same? Do you really want to get the train out of the station?

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Up All Night,

"The truth is that we don’t completely understand why people, or animals for that matter, yawn. It’s widely assumed that yawning occurs because we are tired or bored or because we see someone else doing it, but there isn’t any hard evidence to support these beliefs.
       

"The most plausible explanation, and the one that is taught in medical school, is that we yawn because oxygen levels in our lungs are low. Studies have shown that during normal, at-rest breathing, we don’t use anywhere near our lung capacity; for the most part, we just use the air sacs at the bottom of the lungs. If the air sacs, called alveoli, don’t get fresh air, they partially collapse and the lungs stiffen a bit. As a result, it’s believed, our brain prompts the body to either sigh or take a yawn to get more air into the lungs.
       

"But certain aspects of yawning remain even more mysterious. Fetuses, for instances, have been observed yawning in the womb, yet it’s known that they don’t take oxygen in through their lungs. And yawning seems to be a symptom of multiple sclerosis and other medical conditions, for reasons unclear.
       

"Another puzzling phenomenon is that some male animals, men included, yawn in association with penile erection (although it’s presumptuous to assume they’re bored with their sex lives)." From Dr. Barry Make at  http://www.msnbc.com/news/205574.asp#BODY.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Spaminator,

You may be interested in checking out the IT Architecture Initiative web site (www.cit.cornell.edu/oit/Arch-Init/papers.html). As part of the IT Architecture Initiative, the Office of Information Technologies (OIT) is producing a series of papers outlining directions in information technology architecture. In the spirit of RFCs (requests for comments), the papers are written to foster understanding and to open dialogue about information technology trends at Cornell, with the goal of improving the use of information technology services throughout Cornell. I hope you can get your questions answered on this site.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Jay,

Secure communication over the internet requires encryption -- and this is precisely what many (not all) internet business do via tools such as SSL. See:
http://developer.netscape.com/tech/security/ssl/howitworks.html

Generally when you perform an internet transaction with a company such as Amazon.com, the company provides an encryption "key" for your browser. This key allows the encryption of data that only they can decrypt.

Many companies outline their privacy and security procedures, for examples look for the privacy and/or security notifications on popular web sites. It is prudent to review before any online business transaction.   For more detail, check out CIT's IT Architecture Initiative, the Office of Information Technologies (OIT) webpage at  http://www.cit.cornell.edu/oit/Arch-Init/data_access_%26_retention .html.  I hope this helps.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear niece,

Thanks for your real world perspective.  But do you really mean that about being an undergrad?

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Nephew,

Yes, there is a way -- you can contact the owners of the mailing lists to which you are subscribed, and request that your cornell address be removed from the list.  You can do this even if you don't know who the owner is. Here's how:

Let's say "Nephew" is subscribed to CU-Cycles-L, and wants to be off the list.  Send your request to:

To:  CU-Cycles-L-request@cornell.edu

Type your request in the body of the message, such as:

Dear list owner,

I have graduated and no longer want to receive CU-Cycle-L mail. Please unsubscribe my former Cornell address, <NetID@cornell.edu>.

Yours sincerely,
Nephew

That should do it!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear TAT,

We really don't know!  The idiom, first recorded around 1779,  means "to mind one's manners", or "to be careful, exact, or prudent in behaviour".  Some say it was advice to a child learning her letters to be careful not to mix up the handwritten lower-case letters p and q. Similarly, it may have been advice to a printer's apprentice, for whom the backward-facing metal type letters would be especially confusing. However, it could have been advice to a barman not to confuse the letters p and q on the tally slate, on which the letters stood for the pints and quarts consumed "on tick" by the patrons. When referring to exactitude, I like the idiom "dot your i's and cross your t's" referring less to behavior than to editorial perfection. Behavior, we all agree at this point, is imperfect, as manners are culturally bound. 

"When in Rome . . .  " (Do you know that idiom?)

Uncle Ezra   

Der JA,
The United States Environmental Protection Agency's advice for asbestos in residential structures is to just leave it alone. Asbestos is only a health threat if the material that contains it gets broken apart thus allowing asbestos fibers to become air born.

Of course, some times asbestos-containing materials must be disturbed, for example if repairs or renovations require disturbing the area that contains asbestos.   In that case the advice for owners or occupants is to have the asbestos-containing material removed by a licensed asbestos abatement firm.  Landlords who need to remove or disturb asbestos-containing material are required by law to have the asbestos-containing material removed by a licensed asbestos abatement firm.

There are so many construction materials that contain asbestos that it impossible to guess what material on the ceiling may contain asbestos.  It could be in ceiling tiles - the type used in suspended ceilings.  It could also be in the attic insulation, not really contained "in" the ceiling, but just above it.

Based on the bit of information in your e-mail to me, it seems that the landlord is being responsible.  He/she has disclosed to the tenant a possible environmental hazard and told the tenant how to avoid that hazard.  There is no legal requirement for the landlord to remove the asbestos as long as the material that contains it is in good condition and is not deteriorating.

If the material that contains the asbestos is in good condition and is not disturbed there is no need to keep the windows open to increase ventilation beyond normal and comfortable levels.  And in fact, that strategy would probably not be very effective if there were crumbly asbestos material in the space that was disturbed.

I hope this helps you feel better about your living space. Your landlord may be able to answer some questions, or you can call the city building inspectors for more specific information. 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear faithful,

Thank you for being faithful to yourself, "thou canst not then be false to any man."  I hope readers take courage in your words and story, as we move on past National Coming Out Day --any day is the first day of the rest of your life. 

Uncle Ezra