Dear nephew or niece,
 

Holi will be celebrated this year in the courtyard between Myron Taylor and Anabel Taylor Hall, as it was last year.  The date is set for April 17th.  This is the 3rd year that the Society for India is doing it in recent times, now with the help of the Hindu Students Council.  If you'd like any more information, please contact Aneeq Ahmad, President.

The Society for India formed at Cornell to promote the culture, heritage, and traditions of the Indian Sub-Continent, while remaining responsive to the needs of those within our community. Their webpage lists contacts and events: http://www.rso.cornell.edu/si/.

Holi ranks as the most colorful of Indian's numerous fesitvals.  Dhuleti, the day after Holi, is the actual festival of colors.  It celebrates the arrival of spring and death of demoness Holika, it is a celebration of joy and hope. It provides a good excuse for letting off some steam and settling old scores, without causing physical injury. Lord Krishna, while growing up in Vraj, popularised the festival with his ingenious pranks. Gopies of Vraj responded with equal enthusiasm and the festivities have continued ever since. Role reversal, feminism etc. are accepted customs for the duration of the festival.  Men and women of Vraj clash in a colorful display of battle of the sexes.  A naturally occurring orange-red dye, Kesudo, is used to drench all participants.  Spring, the season of love, is now official.

"The weather is most pleasant and the spring flowers are in full bloom.  Skies are clear, days are warm and nights are pleasantly cool. What more could you ask for, except to be covered in the 'ranga' (colour) of your beloved!"

(from http://www.geocities.com/Athens/7830/holi.htm)

Uncle Ezra   

Dear been there,

Thank you for your words of support.  People like you help with the light and love part of this poem by Annie Johnson Flint around 1900:

God hath not promised skies always blue,
Flower strewn pathways all our lives through;
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.

God hath not promised we shall not know
Toil and temptation, trouble and woe;
He hath not told us we shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care.

God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,
Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;
Never a mountain rocky and steep,
Never a river turbid and deep.

 But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labor, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Bio major,

On those extra rainy or snowy days an entire system of university tunnels sounds appealing doesn't it?  However, there are fewer tunnels than you think, and even fewer that are available to the public, primarily for resource and security reasons.  John Hoffman, Director of Library Facilities Planning, provided us with this very helpful explanation to your inquiry:

"The 'entry' to Kroch Library located in Stimson Hall is only open to patron use once a year, the last day of classes for the spring semester, better known as 'Slope Day.'  Obviously that wasn't the intent when the entrance was constructed over 12 years ago but budget issues and changing university space priorities have forced the situation we have today.  Originally, back in 1990, when Kroch was being designed, there was a good chance that Stimson would become a library building.  There was a detailed architectural study conducted that year and it was decided that additional monies should be spent to construct an appropriate, tasteful entryway through Stimson (you should know that the building/fire code would have required an egress 'path' from Kroch to Stimson, but only to exit the building in case of emergency).  When Kroch Library was opened in 1992 the university was facing a budget crunch and the library was not able to provide the necessary staff required to secure the entryway and prevent library materials from walking out of the building.  In 2004, the library still does not have sufficient staffing to open the entry.

"Yes, there is a tunnel connecting Olin and Uris libraries.  That tunnel was originally constructed as an easy way to move books from Uris to Olin (Uris had housed the research collection before Olin was constructed in 1961), and to provide a protected path of travel for acquisitions, mail and equipment being transferred from the loading dock located behind Uris, into Olin.  The tunnel is restricted to shipping, access and facility staff.  The library would be thrilled to have a patron tunnel connecting Uris and Olin and, in fact, that connection was part of a feasibility study conducted in 2003 for the renovation of Olin and Uris Libraries.  It could be some years before that patron tunnel becomes a reality, if at all.  That will depend upon university priorities and available funding.  Unfortunately, the existing tunnel cannot be used for the public as it is currently constructed, because of security and fire code reasons...except for one day of the year.  Yes, 'Slope Day'. 

"Each year on Slope Day we lock the main entrances to Olin and Uris Libraries from noon until 6pm.  We do that because of problems experienced in the past with some overly excited patrons, i.e. inebriated ones.  And so at noon on that special day we open both the Stimson entry to Kroch and the staff tunnel between Uris and Olin, and that is how patrons must enter Olin, Kroch and Uris Libraries for those six hours.  We have found that the plan reduces the number of mishaps that occur when a large, free flowing party is occurring directly outside of our doors.

"And, in case you are interested, there is also a secured hallway/tunnel that leads from Kroch over to Goldwin Smith!  That pathway is never opened except during emergency evacuations of Kroch because of the very valuable material housed in that library."

If you yearn to use an underground passage, I guess you'll have to opt for the pathway between Barton and Teagle when you go to do your noontime run.  Or maybe you can reward yourself for the walk from Stimson to Olin with a treat from Libe Cafe.  Thanks for the info John!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear honors grad,

Congratulations!  You can ask at the department office for help, or ask your advisor's assistant.  Call Kinko's, Gnomon, or Staples in town.  There's also a copy shop in Community Corners. You can also ask at the library about rules they might have if they are to keep a copy.  Best wishes.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear safe,

You're question is timely - the Water Wise Council (http://www.plaziak.com/water/) is offering a convention/conference on Save Water/Safe Water on Wednesday, March 24, 2004, 8:00 am -5:00 pm, where you can get all your questions answered.  The keynote speaker will be Commissoner Christopher Ward from the NY City Environmental Protection Agency.

Your search engine can give you more background, including news articles on initiatives to keep our water safe (http://www.state.ny.us/governor/press/year03/feb14_03.htm). 

Thanks for your concern.  Best of luck in your career and making use of your Cornell education out there. 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear truth,

You love your parents as only an offspring can do, but the time comes when you must draw the line between their lives, their ideas, their values and your own. I'm sorry that you see your relationship as "worst of all." Perhaps that means it is, for your parents, a difficult concept.  Perhaps they've been sheltered, but with gay marriages in the headlines every day, it's hardly possible.

Of course parents want their children to be happy and to have good friends and a love relationship to keep them warm and secure. My advice - don't lie.  Look at how you feel inside when you step over that line.  If it is very touchy, then tread slowly and carefully.  Say the truth, but only so much as they can take.  Use the word "partner" until they get it.

Your parents may not be instantly overjoyed with your new relationship, but in time, they may warm up to it.  Help them out.  Help them get to know you, including your gender identity, and to know your friends, as people with jobs and hobbies and personalities and families, and also, sex lives.

Go forearmed.  There are support groups for parents of gay children who want to advocate for their children to help them with the stigma that still exists out there. There is information about gender identity.  Have you gotten Rich Savin Williams' book? Check the Ezra archives for coming out letters and responses from Rich and Daryl Bem. We also have excellent counseling resources on campus, including Sarah Simpkins in the Dean of Students Office in WSH and Gwendolyn Dean.  You can also talk with  a peer counselor from EARS or your partner can take you in as a couple through CAPS. 

I hope that you and your parents can grow into new levels of trust and acceptance of one another as you open into this rocky territory.  Make sure you get the support of others who've been there as you go along. I wish you the best.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear parents,

Craig Hartman, Executive Chef at the Statler Hotel uses a recipe from his mother's family, who had hotels and restaurants in Salisbury and Ocean City Maryland. "Crab was a staple in my family's diet. We ate it at breakfast, lunch and dinner" he reminisces.  The recipe is for a large quantity, but the method is the same for any size of this recipe.

"Happy cooking" from Craig.

Reah's Crab Cakes

Ingredients:
10 lb. Jumbo Lump Crab - Drained
15 ea. Whole Eggs
1-Cup Dijon Mustard
1/4 Cup Old Bay Seasoning
1-Cup Fresh Lemon Juice
5 tsp. Tabasco Sauce
1/4 Cup Worcestershire Sauce
2 Bunches Chopped Parsley
1/2 Gallon Mayonnaise
1-Gallon Fresh Bread Crumbs

Method: Place all of the ingredients except for the mayo and breadcrumbs, into a large bowl. Toss the ingredients lightly together without breaking the crab lumps. Make sure that the crab is coated with all of the ingredients. Taste and adjust the seasonings with salt and pepper.  Fold the mayo into the crab mixture without breaking the lumps.  Then fold the fresh breadcrumbs into the mixture.  Make sure that you add enough bread to hold the cakes together without making them too firm. Good Luck.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear student,

Health insurance is critical to our well being so that we receive the appropriate medical care that we need.  It is troubling to see health care costs continue to rise, and so too, insurance rates.  I am saddened to hear presidential candidates still moniker the same campaign phrases that we have heard before, "health insurance should be a right not a privilege."  But not being able to afford health insurance is still a reality for many in this country. 

As for your own dilemma, please make an appointment as quickly as possible to speak with someone in Cornell's Student Health Insurance Office (call 255-6363).  Jo Ann Molnar, the student health insurance plan (SHIP) administrator wrote the following, "If students lose coverage, they HAVE to be on our plan or another that meets university requirements.  Dependents that have missed the 30 day termination enrollment opportunity cannot enroll after 30 days have past, this however does not apply to students, because the university requires that all students must have health insurance coverage." 

It sounds like you may be able to enroll in SHIP after all.  Good luck with obtaining health insurance, and with those medical procedures. 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear George,

Our sexuality consultant at Gannett, Nina Cummings, says that "Even when using a condom, HPV can be transmitted. The virus, contracted through skin to skin contact, is not always on the part of the penis covered by a condom. If the virus or warts are on the upper shank of the penis, or elsewhere on the genital area, including the testicles or upper thighs, the area may not be protected by latex. Unfortunately, that's why the term 'safer sex', but not 'safe sex' is used."

She says that "women without symptoms for HPV may have the virus detected if the Thin Prep pap smear is done during their annual gynecological exam.  Men who are asymptommatic cannot be tested for HPV.

"Exposure to Herpes (but without symptoms) can be determined through a blood test which is done at Planned Parenthood downtown (they are the testing site for the Tompkins County Health Department).  In any case, concerns about exposure to sexually transmitted diseases can be discussed with a Gannett clinical counselor who can explain transmission and help individuals understand their risk. Appointments are free to students (255-5155)." 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Finn or not,

The Pulitzer Prize-winning poet was written up at http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/books/106516_book31.shtml, where the reviewer reminds us that in "the 1990 poem 'I Am a Finn,' the poem's impact comes from the fact that the reader knows perfectly well that Tate is not a Finn, and the listing of cliches of Finnish character, in the guise of an autobiographical poem, pokes fun at the superficiality of autobiography as a means of defining a complex human being."

Tate, the youngest poet to win the Yale prize, teaches at U Mass Amherst and can be contacted at 466 Bartlett Hall there, Amherst, Mass 01003 or by phone at 413-545-5503.

You can also contact the local Fingerlakes Finnish Group, who meet regularly (http://www.fingerlakesfinns.org/).  As for books, try Autumn Leaves or Ithaca Books downtown or Phoenix Books on Rt. 13 in Dryden.  Good luck.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Another,

I certainly hope we can, and our willingness to discuss our different interpretations of communication will go a long way toward peaceful ends.  As you and all good social workers know, it's called Active Listening, and it involves a conversation about what one thinks, what the other thinks that one said, and so on back and forth until each hears the other.

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, But, I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

Uncle Ezra   

Dear seeking enlightenment,

I'm sorry that you've experienced these complications, and I hope you can find a trusted clinician to help you sort through your symptoms and perhaps refer you to a neurologist.  For some basic infomriation, the National Association for Mental Health (http://nami.org) website is excellent.  A good counsleor may help you advocate for yourself with a physician. You may be concerned or even afraid of what these losses mean for you.  An agency like the Fingerlakes Independence Center or Mental Health Association may also help you get some needs met.  I wish you the best.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Stuck,

Breaking up is hard to do, but being in that stuck place is harder.  If you want your reason to prevail, then it is reasonable to expect someone who is your friend to respect your wishes.  Somehow, he doesn't hear that "no" means "no".  Even if you did allow a phone call, kissing may be way beyond what you wanted as allowable contact.  If you do indeed still love him, that puts you in a very difficult position. You say he doesn't want to compromise, which seems consistent with his not respecting your  boundaries. 

He is playing with your emotions, and if you make yourself available to him, then you are letting him.  You may enjoy the drama, which many people thrive on. The tears, the swings, the joy - this can make life feel so real and full of passion. That is what pulls you into it.  If you really want to move on, you must make a conscious effort, however difficult, to not kiss, not meet if you feel vulnerable, and not talk if it starts you down the slippery slope.  The choice is yours.

You will love more than one person in your lifetime.  You can choose what to do about that love.  You may love a married man or a colleague, or another inappropriate object, and you will decide to let it go, to not act on it. It gets easier with time.  The first cut is the deepest.

Check out Caroline Myss books or tapes/CDs for more help. Best to you.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear International,

Professor Michel Louge, in the Department of Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering, has been taking on a role to seek out some programs. Here is his contact information: Michel Yves Louge, email: MYL3 (@cornell.edu), phone: 607-255-4193.  It sounds like an exciting project.

  

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Star,

The admission requirements are currently listed under the application section. The following link will take our lost prospective students right to the requirements:

http://admissions.cornell.edu/apply/firstyear_reqs.cfm

Uncle Ezra