Dear Uncle Ezra - Questions for Thursday, September 16, 2004

Hi Uncle Ezra,
I'm an international student at Cornell and I've experienced a lot of growth over the past few years, both intellectually, and emotionally. I love it here at Cornell and am having a great time.

Just a brief introduction: I was born in Country A (the name change is for privacy's sake) and attended high school at Country B (ditto) for 6 years.

Now that I'm here, I've also realized that students from Country B and Country A seem to like to stay in their own cliques. What's worse, some of them seem to be unhappy that I do not actively seek out people from "my country", as they would put it. What's even worse is that people from Country A see me as being from Country B (and that my identity is completely tied to that) and vice versa! It seems that it's usually people from Country B who are particularly intolerant. I try telling them over and over again that I look out for individual characteristics in people when making friends (because I've had friends from all walks of life), not the person's nationality, religion, race or what have you, but it never seems to register with them!

What worries me the most is that many potential friends might be turned off from me because of such gossip about my being a 'country traitor' etc (who likes traitors?). Sometimes I wish those who make such comments would just shut up, open their eyes to the complexities of the world and get a life! Such is my annoyance at them! Please help, thanks.

Dear student,

No single "group" is immune from ingroup vs.outgroup attempts at forging identity, security and sense of belonging as a strategy to adjust to this large new community. These groups can, however, provide protective benefits without negative views of outsiders. Doesn't "traitor" assume a polarized view of who we are? Can you pledge allegiance to a global community, despite your national origins?

I hope that your true friends are also growing emotionally as well as intellectually, and broadening their perspectives. Education is the best antidote to racism, discrimination and hate-crimes. If you get involved in campus organizations and activities to enhance our diversity-friendly climate, you'll be helping on a larger scale to open hearts and minds, as well as to open doors to all who seek to learn how to make peace.

Uncle Ezra

DUE,
I was just wondering about vitamins.... I work in a busy job and tend to cook large meals on the weekends and freeze individual serves which I microwave and eat on weeknights when I get home. How much of the vitamin content in the vegetables would be lost by the initial cooking, freezing and microwaving? I try to include lots of vegetables in my meals but is it all in vain? Thanks, Long gone, but not lost, niece.

Dear niece,
Our Nutritionist/Educator at Gannett, Myra Berkowitz, says that "The value of vegetables comes from several components--vitamins, minerals, fiber and 'phytochemicals' (other naturally occuring plant compounds that may be helpful for long-term health and prevention of disease).  Of these, minerals and fiber are quite stable, vitamins are less stable, and phytochemicals vary depending on the type.

"Vitamin content in foods declines gradually over time and with food preparation.  The water soluble vitamins, especially B vitamins and vitamin C, are sensitive to degradation under a variety of circumstances depending on the vitamin.  These vitamins can be partially lost in water used for cooking, and some are sensitive to heat, alkalinity or light.  Vegetables prepared soon after harvest can have higher vitamin levels than those stored for a long time, and quick freezing is often a better method for preserving vitamin content than storing at higher temperatures for extended periods.

"Rates of decline have been studied for different vitamins in various vegetables, prepared by different methods.  In general, although vitamin activity is partially lost through a variety of treatments, a high percentage of activity (perhaps 75-90%) usually remains after each treatment, especially when preparation time is rapid. Microwaving uses less water and is rapid, so is a good method.

"Cooking in advance and freezing for further consumption is a great strategy to provide nutritious meals and save time and money.  Yes, by the time you cook, freeze, and reheat, you may have lost a little more vitamin activity than if you were to cook and eat immediately.  However, remember that even if some vitamin loss occurs, there are additional health benefits from your vegetables (stable vitamins, minerals, fiber, and phytochemicals) that remain."

Bon appetit!

Dear Uncle Ezra,
I have been with the same man for 27 years and we have been married 23 1/2 years of the 27 and i have no desire to have sex with him anymore but i have several friends with benefits and we pratice safe sex -and i don't know why i do not want to have sex with my husband anymore -please help me understand

Dear married,

Congratulations on your almost quarter-century of marriage. It is natural that the initial spark may become more muted over the years. Humans love something new, as advertisers well know, although it is said there is nothing new under the sun. Advertisers also know if you package the old wine in new flasks, it sells. Having someone new to explore sexual intimacy with may be nothing more than a kind of superficial addiction to novelty. If you and your husband are willing to explore new (for you) territory in communication and intimacy, you may rediscover some sparks between you. You may have to let go of expectations of eternal youth. You may have to learn to appreciate the inner glow of beauty, the complex character and the mellow flavor of a relationship with sexual expression as only one of its many attributes.

Have you thought of going on a weekend couples retreat? Look through the catalog at eomega.org. Dr. Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love you Want does a Couples' Workshop (Sept.24-26). Judith and Robert Gass did a Retreat for Couples "who want to move beyond the existing boundaries of what seems possible in their primary relationship into greater intimacy, spiritual connection and joy". There are also massage, music and dance, yoga and spiritual offerings.

I hope you can make the next quarter century the best!

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,
I'm going to the Career Fair for the first time this year, and I'm not sure what to wear. The CCS website is very ambiguous about what people usually wear- should I go with a suit, or just a dress suit and tie? Please bestow some fashion sense on me!
~Confused Guy

Dear Confused Guy,

Have you spoken to the staff in Cornell Career Services -in Barnes Hall, or your college's career center yet? Many students dress professionally but not necessarily in a full suit. Pretend you are going on a job interview - it's a good opportunity to assess your career wardrobe. Being clean, neat and mannerly are the essentials. Have a clear resume and a realxed, warm and friendly smile. Wear your confidence on your sleeve. Good luck.

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,
In response to the person looking for a copy of The Cay,
starring James Earl Jones, it was an afterschool special made for TV movie. Theeodore Taylor did not agree to rerlease it to the general public so any copies out there were copied from the TV. This information comes directly from NBC whom I contacted several years ago looking to buy a video copy. Unfortunately for those of us who love the book and the lessons it teachers our students about stereotypes and prejudice, they have no plans to release this on video.

Dear Uncle Ezra,
Last Fall, there was a discount on the bus pass during the State tax-free days. I remember I paid 150 instead of 190 for an annual pass. Was it a special case for 2003 or should we expect the same this year?

Thanks a lot,

Dear student,

You have an excellent memory! However the rate change has nothing to do with tax-free week (bus passes are not taxed). Last year, when Commuter and Parking Services advertised the price for a full-year student OmniRide bus pass for 03-04 it was for $150. Shortly after doing this, TCAT announced a 50% rate hike. Because they had already advertised the $150 rate, they took out advertisements encouraging students to purchase their pass by September 1, thereby giving all students a chance to get the low rate. After this date, the price was raised to $190 (a 27% increase).

This year, they followed a similar model, giving students until August 13 (they began advertising the rate and the cutoff date in the spring so this gave all new and returning students an opportunity to advance order at the $190 rate). After this date, the price was increased to $200. The $200 cost is still only a 33% raise from the original $150 number so TCAT's 50% rate increase has still not been fully passed on and the university is still supporting some of it.

For those bus riders out there, look for this model (with the price continuing to bump up after a certain date in the summer) to continue. Commuter and Parking Services felt it's important for students to have to absorb these cost increases gradually, rather than lagging well behind TCAT's rates and then having a huge increase in a single year.

Incidentally a $200 student OmniRide pass is still a bargain, heavily subsidized by the university, when compared with the $495 that the same pass would cost you in the community -ouch!

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,
are there any bus services being provided from Cornell to the Northern New Jersey area for the October break?

Dear visiting Jersey,

Many Cornell students use Shortline bus which has daily trips from Ithaca (including the CU campus) to New York City-via Northern New Jersey (Paramus area). For more info on them, visit http://www.shortlinebus.com. Alternatively check with the Ithaca bus station or the student ride board for more options. Happy trails.

Uncle Ezra

hi,
i keep having this persistent urge to urinate. Is there anything i can do to get rid of this sensation??? it's so annoying.
frequent bathroomer

Dear John,

Yes, that could be a constraint on your schedule and socializing. Do you drink a lot of coffee or caffeinated soft drinks? Take stimulants to stay awake? Are you exercising and over-hydrating, or eating a lot, drinking a lot and losing weight? Our Gannett resources suggest that this could be a urinary tract infection, bladder spasms/irritation caused by medications, or idiopathic. Sometimes pressure on the bladder caused by an over-filled (constipated?) colon or other effect of a mass (e.g. pregnancy) can cause bladder irritation. It could also be a symptom of diabetes. The bottom line is, for your health and peace of mind and bladder, see a clinician. I hope you are soon more comfortable.

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle,
I really want to know something.
I am entering my senior year in high school this fall. my cumulative rank is somewhere in the top 25th percentile so far. in senior year i expect it go to the 10th percentile. My SAT score is a 1200. my gpa is a 3.8. What do u think my chances to get accepted to Cornell are? please answer my question. I'm desperate to hear ur reply, so please dont tell me that it depends//// THANKS, please reply ASAp

Dear prospective student,

Please consult our admissions website for information about applications. You can find past years' acceptance rates, average SATs, etc., but you are a person and not a number, so it DOES depend on you and what you have done with your life and how you present yourself. Keep on being and doing your best, and hope for the best. Good luck!

Uncle Ezra