Dear shhh,

I asked Anne Kenney, our Associate University Librarian for Instruction, Research, and Information Services.  She says "Hello and thanks for your message.  There are a number of libraries that I would recommend to you as good places for quiet study.  Have you tried the Music Library, for example?  Believe it or not, Uris library offers some quiet places to study--try the Kinkeldey Room or the Fiske Room (aka the Fishbowl), or the current periodical room in Olin, or the lower level of Olin near the semi current newspapers.  Many of these areas are specifically marked as quiet study areas. 

"But signs aren't enough, obviously.  I think it's perfectly in your purview to ask students to quiet down, particularly in areas that are designated as quiet study areas.  Library staff do try to enforce no talking/no cellphone use when they can, but we can't afford to have staff dedicated to that effort full time.  If you are reluctant to intervene  yourself, ask a library staff member for help.

"The study carrels in Olin are reserved for graduate students who petition for them when they are pursuing their research and thesis preparation.  Obviously there are not enough of these to go around--even for the graduate students.  One of the issues being discussed in planning for Olin renovation is to make some carrels available on a first come/first serve basis.  We are well aware that Olin, in particular, lacks adequate study space.  I think, however, if you check out some of the suggested places listed above that you will find a good place for quiet study."

Thanks, Anne!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear frightened student,

Your situation is challenging you to learn more than Asian characters.  You need to find some ways to manage your anxiety.  Try deep breathing and positive self-statements. Isn't that better already? Have you called EARS (the peer counseling service) or Gannett Counseling service to help you?  Find a book on Assertiveness and find some ways to communicate your needs clearly and effectively. Knowing how to communicate can help you feel less anxious as you feel more empowered to get your needs met.

Use your fear to help you find your way through this problem and you will have solved three at the same time. Even if your teacher scares you, as is often the case, it is her job to teach you and your job to make sure you are learning. Sometimes that anxiety reaction (racing heart, sweating palms, shaking voice) is not fear but rather it is excitement about learning that needs to be channeled into skillful action.  I hope you can do it!  

Uncle Ezra   

Dear student,

I'm sorry for your difficulties.  Since you are on medical leave, you were advised by Gannett and your college advisor what you could do to continue your college career.  Without knowing your case, I couldn't say what your options are. You may have received some suggestions based on professional review of your history and on an interview with you. 

Some options that people in your position may consider are taking a course at another school to demonstrate capability, taking a course at Cornell as an extramural student, and/or doing an internship or job and getting a good reference. Try to think beyond the traditional 4-year-program and design a program that works best for you based on your needs as a whole person.  Life is always there -- do it with your own style. Look at the glass half full and build a record - the positive aspects of which will speak well for you. Good luck. 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear worker,

Welcome to the world of work - it is not at all what most people expect.  In fact, many people think the Dilbert cartoon is about their office specifically. People in general don't appreciate one another as much as we would like, but individuals may give each other a pat on the back. Have you appreciated your subordinates lately?

Have you had a talk with your subordinate?  You will need to have the facts on specific behaviors that you think are "sabotaging" and then get some advice on how to confront this person. Can you be honest with your bosses to get help with them on how to address your problems?

There are managerial techniques to help an ailing workgroup rejuvenate. Do you have money to hire a consultant?  It may be worth the expense. Otherwise, read some books on effective management, or take a short course. Maybe you'll end up going back for your MBA.  I hope you get things worked out soon.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear philosopher,

What do you think might motivate someone to take something that is not theirs?  Envy?  Greed?  Impulsivity?  Lack of moral conscience?  A compulsion?  Maybe each person steals for a somewhat different reason.  It is a violation of personal space, and so it is a strong form of disrespect for others' space and property. Although a thief may rationalize his or her behavior, it is socially and morally inappropriate, and it leaves those who have been stolen from feeling frustrated, sad, helpless, violated, hopeless and angry.  If you are a victim, I hope you can manage your feelings and find some reasons to believe in the good people of the world, of whom there are far more than the bad.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear concerned,

Our Gannett physician says that "Trich is not always seen on every PAP even if patient is infected.  PAP is not designed to look for trich, and therefore may not be entirely reliable. Some clinicians would simply treat the patient if trich were reported on a PAP smear; some might want the patient to come in for a confirmatory vaginal wet mount (a test with a swab of vaginal fluid) which would necessitate a pelvic examination."

To summarize, it is not 100% sure you have trichomonas. If you did, you must have gotten it from your husband or a previous partner. I strongly encourage you to make an appointment to discuss this with a clinician - and, if you're at Cornell, possibly Barbara Jastran, a clinical counselor at Gannett.

I'm sorry you got bad news, and I hope you can get the information you need. Be well.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear moved on,

I am confused by your letter.  You say you ended the relationship but you don't think she did?  If you are not doing the relationship, then it is over.  But then you continue to want to tell her what she should do. This tells me you are still hanging on to something.  It may be as confusing for her as it is to me.

You can't control her, her thoughts or her imaginings. You can control yourself, your worries and your own fantasies. Let go of imagining you can lead another's life, and reinvest yourself in your own path. Your actions will speak louder than any words, and she will see that you have moved on. What she chooses to do is her own life.

Grief (Rumi)

Your grief for what you’ve lost lifts a mirror

Up to where you’re bravely working.

Expecting the worst, you look and instead,

Here’s the joyful face you’ve been wanting to see.

  Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.

If it were always a fist or always stretched open.

You would be paralyzed.

Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding

The two as beautifully balanced and coordinated

As birdwings.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear desperate,

Yes, there is a new rhythm to college life, but it does have its ebbs and flows. Academics are reaching a crescendo as these leaves fall. You'll get a break when the snow comes. Cornell students do take pride in their work, and they know where they are going. Some may be perfectionist, but the true learners are the ones who realize that perfection, like infinity, can never be reached.

The Center for Learning and Teaching can help you find ways to manage your time. The Tatkon Center has study skills sessions - see the Announcements on DUE. There are also several good websites with this information - many of them from college counseling centers. You'll need a calendar and a "Weekly Planner" from the bookstore with days marked off by the hour. Then the trick is to use it. Next,
learn to not do those things which eat up your time unnecessarily.  Certain kinds of socializing, computer time or running around/shopping can be cut out. Prioritize what you do so that, for example, when you do socialize, you do it with people you enjoy and you do something fun or relaxing. Reward yourself for achieving small goals. Sleep well and eat well and exercise for stress management. 

If you identify specific problem areas, such as overeating, assertiveness to say 'no' to others, or needing academic help, address those needs right away.  These things will help you streamline your semester so you can say 'yes' to yourself and your academic goals. Good luck.

Uncle Ezra   

Uncle Ezra   

Uncle Ezra