Dear Long Lost,

When I was your age, back in the olden days, we kept in touch by writing letters and we met through physical communities like churches.  Today's high school and college students use the cyber world to correspond and tools like Facebook, MySpace and the Class Of sites to help build community. 

You are absolutely right, Facebook can be a great way to find people who share your interests.  And if you read my posts, getting out and meeting people who have common interests is an excellent way to develop friendships, some of which may lead to romantic relationships.  But I urge all of my nieces and nephews to also use caution when using these services.  Sadly too many students - and not just children - fall prey to stalkers, unwanted pursuits, and other problems because of information they've revealed on the Internet. 

You identified your idea as "sketchy."  If your instincts are telling you that, then maybe it is.  Not everyone who posts a dating status or an attractive photo in an online community is looking for a date, sometimes they are simply sharing information about themselves (not realizing the mixed-messages they may be sending).  As a result, advances from a fellow online user can be perceived as unwarranted or threatening even when there was no malicious intent.  To be safe, before you post anything, think about what you are posting, and how the information may be used. 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Longing For a Relationship,

Sometimes it is so hard to move on.  You have let him know that you love him and would like a relationship with him and he is not interested.  It takes "two to tango", so without his interest it is clearly time to move on.

Changing how you view the situation might be very helpful.  Instead of sitting in a pile of hopelessness that your one true love is unavailable, think about what you do have.  You have a very good idea of what you are looking for in a partner.  You know how to love and have a lot to offer in a relationship.  Make a list of these things to remind yourself how worthwhile you are.

Then change what you are doing.  One who pines over the past is usually not busy doing things that are exciting, fulfilling and engaging.  Get on that moving walkway to a relationship with someone who is interested in you.  Start doing things that you enjoy and you'll meet others who have the same interests.  You'll be more exciting to be with and will begin to exude attractiveness.

If it's too painful to think about him, it's time to stop thinking about him.  Start paying more attention to those around you, men and women who are fun to be with.  Initiate doing things with them and respond to their invitations.

You've been in "heart-broken land" for much to long.  You can get him out of your mind by filling your head with all the interesting things you'll be embarking on after you finish reading this answer.

If you need further encouragement try EARS, 5-EARS, or Counseling and Psychological Services at Gannett, 5-5155.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Look-but-don't-touch,

The beauty of Cornell's campus is a source of joy for the entire Cornell community.  Many hours of labor from dedicated, talented people go into maintaining the plants, shrubs, trees and grass around campus.  It is also a financial investment by the university to maintain a beautiful environment.  Acts that destroy the property of Cornell are subject to discipline by the Office of the Judicial Administrator.  The type or severity of the discipline would vary according to the individual circumstances of the case.  But, more importantly, if everyone in our community picked a flower from a bush, the ground or a tree, there would be far fewer flowers for us to enjoy collectively.

Individuals vandalizing our campus landscape have been prosecuted by the Cornell Judicial Administrator's Office and City of Ithaca in the past.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear FF,

Cornell is near and dear to my heart,
but I can speak with clarity and truth when I say that our university has world-class faculty in the humanities and social sciences.  Yes, there has been lots of buzz about engineering and sciences with construction of the new life sciences building, and the recent gift to build William H. Gates Hall, but Cornell's breadth reaches beyond those areas of study.  In fact, the humanities and social sciences are an essential part of these initiatives as we engage in issues of ethics, communications, and development.  In a recent Cornell Chronicle interview with President-Elect David Skorton, he said, "The arts and humanities are the soul of the university; they are the core disciplines. You cannot equate the value of a discipline with its ability to attract external funding. So I want to celebrate the great success of the humanities and the arts on this campus. I want to celebrate the success of the social sciences here as well and help to build even greater success in all of these areas."

But how does this relate directly to your decision?  Your uncle encourages you to think about what your college experience means and what you hope to achieve during your four years here (or anywhere).  College is a time for academic, intellectual, and social exploration.  This takes place both in and outside of the classroom, whether you engage in research, student leadership positions, social activities, student jobs, or faculty interaction.  Your college experience is not just about your GPA, or the rank of a department or school, but how you earned those grades, who you interacted with, and whether you had the opportunities to fulfill your goals and dreams.

Thinking about the whole college experience will help you evaluate whether Cornell is the right fit for you, and if you decide to transfer, help you evaluate potential alternatives.  If you transfer, remember to take into consideration the time required to make social adjustments or to network to find research positions. 

Finally, I encourage you to meet with one of the advising deans in 55 Goldwin Smith to talk about your concerns and your goals.  They will be able to help you determine if your academic and career goals can be met here at Cornell, or whether there is another place for you. 

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." -Unknown

Uncle Ezra   

Dear '08 to '09er,

Thank you for your words of kindness.  So you are planning to graduate a semester or two later than originally planned.  Do you want to take more classes and add an additional major?  Are you planning to take a medical leave?  Do you feel a need to slow down the pace that you are working at?  Or perhaps you still plan to graduate in eight semesters just not in consecutive semesters?  This will be information you'll want to first review with your college, so make an appointment to speak with your advisor.  Once you've cleared your plans with your college, then make an appointment to speak with a financial aid counselor.  If you're planning to take a break but still complete your studies in eight semesters it will impact your financial status differently than if you simply need more time to complete your degree.  It sounds like you're thinking ahead so now you just need to speak with the right folks to work out the details. 

As for the question about your class, even faculty sometimes have family emergencies or other extenuating circumstances that prevent them from making a given class or sending an appropriate guest lecturer.  In the 2002 Faculty Handbook, under Absences, it reads, "When an academic employee who has missed holding a class assigns a makeup session at a time when the class is not regularly scheduled, some of the students may have other obligations that prevent attendance at that time."  In addition, study period is intended to give students time to study and complete final assignments, and a three-hour class can impact the time available to students.  Study week is coming soon, so it's important to resolve this quickly.  If you are uncomfortable speaking directly with your professor about this situation, you can contact the department chair or the Dean of Faculty's office (5-4963) as soon as possible to deal with the situation anonymously.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Singer of Songs,

Since Anything Goes, I say, "Go for it."  It isn't for you to decide whether they want you or not.  You only have to try out by doing your best.  After all of your experience singing, this sounds like a perfect next step for you.  If you are chosen, you'll have to ask the group what the time commitment is and decide if it will fit into your schedule, before you commit yourself.  If you aren't chosen, you'll at least know that you tried.  I am sure that some of their decisions are made on the basis of what parts need to be filled.

Be sure to go to their upcoming concert, Saturday, May 6, 7pm at Anabel Taylor Hall.  While you are there, imagine yourself as part of the group.  Get yourself psyched and sing your heart out at the audition!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Fan,

The baseball team holds their games on Hoy Field at the intersection of Campus and Hoy Roads.  The team finished their season on Sunday with a loss to Princeton.  The softball team competes at Niemand-Robison field on Pine Tree Road, next to Reis Tennis Center.  They have a couple of games left.  Look for schedules, results, and facilities information at http://www.cornellbigred.com and come out and cheer them along!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Gollum,

I contacted the Cornell Store and they said that no further information about the A.D. White ring has been found.  The staff in the University Archives, who are an excellent resource for CU historical information, did not have any records on this.  Still determined, Joan Manheim at the Store continues to keep her eye out for information in her spare time.  Regardless of its background, the red carnelian stone with the engraved C is certainly a distinctive design.  Happy shopping. 

Uncle Ezra   

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Fraternity Member,

Hazing, theft and destruction of property are all violations of the Cornell Campus Code of Conduct and the internal rules of fraternity and sorority houses.  In addition to notifying the police, victims may notify the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Affairs (OFSA) and the Office of the Judicial Administrator.  OFSA may discipline the house; the JA may discipline individuals.

Uncle Ezra