Dear Reader,

Thanks, it's great to be back.  I try to answer as many questions as I can in the amount of time I have.  I have a fine group of helpers right now who scurry across campus gathering information for all of your interesting questions.

If I don't get to your question, check my archives.  One of the 20,000 answers might be just what you are looking for. 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Ms. Date,

Ah, I have heard of this problem before.  There is no easy answer, but here are some suggestions.

The first and most important suggestion is to get out there and do the things that you love to do.  Eventually, you will meet others doing the same thing and you will be radiant and irresistible since you will be doing what is fun and important to you.

For concrete possibilities read below:

There is a new group in town called Ithaca Professionals.  Here is a short description from an article in the Ithaca Times.  "So here you are, a 20-something or 30-something working professional, employed in Ithaca and looking for some fun.  Your frat party days are over, you're not yet ready for the basket-weaving club and, yet, you don't know anyone who's like you.  You are not alone.  Now, how to find the others like you?  That's where the recently formed Ithaca Forward [iF] comes in."  You can find out more information at this site:  http://www.zwire.com/site/index. cfm?newsid=15371660&BRD=1395&PAG=461&dept_id=216620&rfi=8.

Other options involve following your interests.  Think about what you like to do in your free time and then find a group that does that.  For example there is a biking group in Ithaca (Fingerlakes Cycling Club), pick-up volleyball at GIAC, a hiking group (Cayuga Trails Club).

Another great way to meet people is through a dance class...swing, tango, salsa?  Cindy Overstreet and Kurt Lichtman teach classes and you could probably find when the next one begins by Googling them.  You don't need to attend with a partner and each time a lesson is taught you rotate partners, so you get to meet someone new.  Also try the Ithaca Swing Dance Network site.  Joining a class with a group of your friends could be a blast.

Do you have strong political convictions?  Working for your candidate during this election year might be just the right thing for bumping into the right guy.

Another popular way of meeting other in Ithaca is the old online matchmaker services, Match.com and Nerve.com.

And then there is always hanging out downtown at Gimme Coffee!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Concert Connoisseur,

Yvette Lucente, Audience and Public Relations Coordinator at Bailey Hall was kind enough to share the following information with us.

We are still doing paper tickets for Bailey Hall, although this year we switched to a new ticketing system that focuses on online self-service:  http://www.baileytickets.com.  You can order tickets 24-hours a day, 7 days a week.  There is an option to have your tickets mailed to you if you buy at least a week in advance, or you can choose to do Will Call (pick them up at Bailey Hall on the night of the concert). 

Another plus:  the system identifies NetIDs of Cornell employees and students, so for the first time we are able to offer discounts to people who sign in with valid NetIDs (discount for online purchases only).

People who prefer to buy over the phone or in person can still do so, with a small fee, through the local ticket broker we've used for years:  Ticket Center at Clinton House, 116 N. Cayuga Street, downtown Ithaca, 607-273-4497. 

There's a possibility that Willard Straight will re-establish a box office using this new system, but it is still in negotiation.  Most of the events at Bailey Hall are ticketed, but occasionally there are free events that don't require a ticket.

General information on all events, as well as the history of Bailey, links to recent news items, etc., can be found at Bailey Hall's website: http://baileyhall.cornell.edu/.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear New Student,

Your misunderstanding is a common one.  Cornell University is indeed in upstate New York, in the town of Ithaca. 

Cornell "College", is a completely different place, also a good school, and it can be found in Mount Vernon, Iowa. 

I'm not sure which place you were accepted to, but I'm sure you will figure that out soon.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Damsel in Neglect,

The problem might be that he does care more for the game than he does for you, or his college classes, or anything else.  Your description of your boyfriend's behavior sounds like compulsive behavior or addiction.  When someone has an addiction they have a stronger relationship with the object of their addiction (alcohol, drugs, video games) than they have with actual people in their lives.  This is a disease, not just something they can will themselves to change.

I would look at the function of the addiction in the person's life and explore alternatives.  It's often a part of a greater picture of something like depression or anxiety; it's usually avoidance/escape behavior.

What jumps out at me most is the issue of "neglect" and how this behavior makes you feel.  It is very important that you let him know how you are feeling and exactly what you want from him.  It won't work to blow up at him or bombard him with all the things you want to see change in your relationship, but instead ask for a few significant changes.  For example, maybe you would like him to eat dinner with you a few times a week, or go out to a movie or for a hike, or visit mutual friends (and not play Warcraft while he is there).  If he cares about you and is eventually capable of developing a satisfying relationship with you and a balanced lifestyle for himself, then you are on the road to repairing this neglectful phase.  You will be giving him a chance to move out of this negative avoidance behavior by asking for more closeness.

If he can't or won't make the changes you need for a satisfying relationship then he is either not capable of doing that with anyone, or isn't interested in doing it with you.  Either way, climb on your horse, my fair lady, leave that kingdom, and find another Prince who is truly Charming.

We don't have any statistics on prevalence of addiction to video games at Cornell, but it's safe to say that we see more of it than we have in the past.  There have been a number of students who have flunked out due to their video game addiction.  Stopping addictive behavior often requires a commitment against co-dependence,
 lots of support and a good counselor with expertise in the field.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Soon to Graduate,

The good news is you can keep your Cornell email address for life!  Remember that NetID and password can be used not only for email, but also for ordering transcripts, voting for alumni trustees, etc.

Your full email services will continue to work for a short time after graduation before being deactivated.  But if you sign up for mail forwarding, any email coming to your Cornell address will automatically be forwarded to your new address.  You will get a notice of when CIT is "cleaning up" graduate email accounts, but I'd make arrangements for mail forwarding before that time.  Visit http://www.alumni.cornell.edu/email/ to learn more.

Congratulations on your graduation.  Come back to visit when you have a chance.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Loving Cornell,

It's interesting that the exact same concerns that you express also appeared in Question 9 on January 28, 2003. It seems that there are a number of us who regret that Eddy Gate is so neglected.  

Corey Ryan Earle comes through again with some history.  "Strangely, when the Cornell Board of Trustees decided to put the gate there in 1895, the regular entrance to campus from Collegetown was where it is today: about a block farther up the gorge from Eddy Street.

"However, it's possible that Cascadilla Hall was considered to be the true 'start' of Cornell's campus, since many students and faculty members lived there.  Also, I would guess that most students who lived outside of Cascadilla approached campus from downtown and from the west, so perhaps it was natural for the new entrance gate to be built on the west side of Cascadilla.  As Collegetown developed into the main location for student housing, fewer students approached campus from the west and the gate was used less frequently.

"A description of the planned new entrance from the November 25, 1895 issue of The New York Times gives some more details: 'At a meeting of the Board of Trustees last week, plans which had been drawn up by University Architect Miller for a new entrance to the campus were presented.  The plans include a roadway and walk around the north side of Cascadilla Building, massive gates at the rear of Cascadilla, and facing Eddy Street, and just north of the entrance, a statue of Ezra Cornell, heroic size.  At present the entrance is by way of Cascadilla Bridge, about 300 yards further up the gorge.'  At the time, the College Avenue entrance had an iron bridge crossing the gorge. The stone bridge was built just a few years later in 1898.

"As to building a new gate at the College Avenue bridge, that seems unlikely. The large 'Cornell University' sign on the south end of the bridge is considered to be greeting enough.  I believe it was added after a renovation of the bridge in the late 1980s.  Although, I'd bet a new entrance gate might be considered if a wealthy alum decided to provide the cash.

"Perhaps if the 'heroic size' Ezra Cornell statue mentioned in the NY Times article had been erected at Eddy Gate, it would receive a bit more attention..."

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Collegetowner,

Just a rumor. 

In the late 1970's there was a place on Waterburg Road in Trumansburg called, "House In The Country."  It housed young men who were released from Tompkins County Jail.  It was a place for them to live while they got their GED, found a job, and developed healthy relationships and healthy habits.  While there, they attended groups to help with social interactions and learn money management, household and cooking skills. 

It was an excellent program, but was federally funded with no transition plan to continue it when the federal money dried up.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Driver,

Good news.  In August 2008, the contractors will turn the University Avenue parking lot over to the University.

We will likely still need some of the spaces for contractors finishing up work on West Campus as well as some for staff who work there.  The balance of spaces will be available on a first-come, first-served basis to students living on West.  Students who can't be accommodated in the University Avenue lot, will continue to receive permits for North Campus (ND).

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Dictionary,

Thanks and sorry.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Recycler,

Doug Lockwood, Office Manager at Cornell Dining reports on Cornell's efforts to reduce waste.

"Thank you for your interest in Cornell Dining and how we handle leftover food.  Cornell Dining takes great pride in the quality and variety of the foods we offer.  We are also concerned about food waste and are careful about how much food is prepared ahead of time.  We batch cook, which means that we cook in smaller amounts as needed during the course of the meal, keeping components uncooked until needed.  This minimizes the amount of prepared food that is left over.  Leftover items prepared in larger quantities are blast chilled, wrapped, and dated for later use as a run-out item to supplement the regular menu items we are serving.  If the items are not eaten by this point they are then composted.

"Please note that what one considers a traditional entree is a small percentage of what we serve.  We offer a number of satellite stations. Many of these stations are cooked or made to order and are truly small batch prepared.  People dine from the Mongolian grill, or the wok, or the grill, or the pasta bar, etc.  For example, Sy Pan and her noodle bowls are made only 6 at a time.

"In the past, Cornell Dining has worked with local benevolent organizations to offer then some of our leftover foods.  After a short period of time it was determined that the benefit of the little amount of food available was outweighed by the effort and expense to pick up and deliver.

"By far, the largest percentage of food waste is by the consumer who takes food that is not consumed."

About 320 tons of food scrap are composted a year from Cornell's dining halls.  This not only reduces waste, it generates valuable compost that can replace chemical fertilizers and enhance the soil.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Student,

Failing is failing, as in F.  If you need that course to graduate, you will have take it over again.  If it is a course in your major and you are planning to apply to graduate school in that area, you probably want to take it over even if you got a C or D. 

There are so many situations that can cause someone to perform below their capacity.  By taking a course over you show determination and that you attended to the problem that caused the lower grade.

When you consider taking a course again it is ALWAYS wise to call or visit your faculty advisor or the academic advisor in your college.  As I have said a million times before, every college at Cornell has its own rules and regulations, so find out which rules apply to you.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear I Optics,

Given my limited knowledge of the coming and goings of things here, I think there might be a chance of using the dorms.  The regular students are gone by then, it's not graduation weekend and the summer students have not yet arrived.

Contact Joe Burke at jab346 or 5-5533 and see what Cornell Housing might be able to do for you.

And kudos from me for being another successful student-run organization!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Proud Parent,

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Terrified Parent,

While the Hazing web page blotter describes the worst, and can reinforce the negative images of college fraternities, it fails to list the dozens of fraternities that do not haze, and may be an excellent social and educational experience for your student.

A non-hazing fraternity list does not exist.  We assume that those that are not on the hazing web page do not, and even some of those listed in the blotter have changed their ways.  We have no tolerance for behaviors that cause harm to a student's health or well-being, and we send clear messages of our expectations.

With all of that said, we would be foolish to believe that hazing does not occur without our knowledge, and that some underage students drink alcohol, and sometimes enough to need medical treatment.  To that I suggest that you have straightforward conversations with your children/loved ones.  Make sure they are aware of the risks.  Tell them that while they might be interested in a fraternity experience, make sure it is for the right reason, and the social scene is not the right reason.  These are organizations that are founded on high moral values and educational missions.  He should ask as many questions as possible, and find which group fits him best.  He should ask about new member education, and if there is hazing.  He should ask what their chapter GPA is.  Ask away!  If he ever runs up against a fraternity that would withhold this info, he should steer clear.

After you prepare him, it's then up to him.

Uncle Ezra