Dear Alone and Confused,

You know yourself very well.  Self-injury is often an addiction, just as you describe.  This dependency can often cause - a splitting of your mind - one part knows you need to get help and the other side rationalizes the behavior.  I totally understand how both of these things can feel true at the same time.  You are very courageous to share these thoughts with me. 

It sounds like you are getting closer to taking action on you own behalf again.  You recognize your dependency, you know that you need help to change it, and you recognize that you are hiding your "true self" from others.  Feeling "fake" and unseen for your true self is certain to feed your need to injure, because cutting helps sooth the distress caused by your perceived dishonesty about what is happening.

Self-injury can be thought of as your body's way of asking you to pay attention to your own needs and truths, to live for yourself and not for another's idea of who you should be.

You understand that you will not simply stop injuring someday and get better. The fact that you wrote to me lets me know that you may be approaching the time when you are ready to ask for help again.  As hard as it is, you are discovering that there is no way out of this without reaching out to another human being for assistance.   It is clear from your message that you will soon possess the strength to call the counselor you were seeing or a counselor here at Cornell to continue your recovery and take the steps needed to help yourself thrive.

And thank you so very much for sharing these inner thoughts, for in fact, you are not alone...there are many others who struggle with these same challenges.  Thank you for helping them to see that they are not alone either.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Out of Control,

Hopefully you figured out what you had to do to work more efficiently in this course last semester.  Your letter came in too late for me to answer it, but here is some information for the future.

A C- is not a failing grade, but the Econ department won't like seeing such a low grade on a 100-level course.  Doing better in 102 and more advanced-level Econ classes will easily undo any harm in the eyes of the department, though, so you will need to manage your time better, get yourself organized, attend the supplemental tutoring sessions, and really put your best foot forward in the coming semesters.  A low GPA in the first semester of freshman year is easily remedied, but the accumulation of bad study habits is not.

I would suggest contacting the Center For Learning and Teaching as soon as possible.  They can work with you individually or you can attend one of their many workshops on how to make the most of your time here at Cornell.   Their website is http://www.clt.cornell.edu/.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Sick-in-bed,

Gannett is currently filled with patients/students suffering from the usual illnesses that strike this time of year.  Many students returned to campus ill, but some are now sick due to the strain of the new semester and the return to academic work,
lack of sleep, living in close contact with other ill students, etc.

Gannett clinicians are seeing lots of respiratory viruses - including influenza-- but lots of "bad colds" and some relatively low levels of vomiting/ diarrhea viruses.

For those who haven't taken advantage yet, and might still be illness-free, we recommend coming to Gannett for a free flu shot.  The flu season has just started so there is still time to help reduce the risk of getting ill.

Since you are already suffering, the usual advice applies:
Try to get as much rest/sleep as possible, and drink lots of clear or light fluids (water, herbal teas, juices, chicken soup).  Although you feel as though you need to drag yourself to class, that is really working against you.  Plus, you are taking the chance of infecting others.

Many students assume there are no options when attendance is a requirement of the class.  But many faculty are flexible.  I would suggest that you send an e-mail to your TA or faculty member, telling them about your illness and asking if there is an alternate option. The faculty member might give you a way to opt out of being in class for the week which will help you get rest and keep you from passing the illness to other students.

If you are up to it, a visit to Gannett might not hurt (for appointments: 255-5155.  A nurse could recommend or help get a prescription for something that might help reduce the symptoms and make you feel better until you can ride out the virus.

Gannett can assist people who are too ill or injured to get to and from an appointment at Gannett, or to an urgent, same-day, specialty health-care appointment when referred by a Gannett provider.  Call 255-5155 (press option 3 to arrange a pick-up time and location).

Finally, the usual good hand washing or waterless hand cleaner is recommended to help keep our campus from an extensive flu/cold outbreak.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Too Many,

Ithaca is a beautiful area with great hiking, skiing and mountain biking.  However, Ithaca is not known for its outdoor rocking climbing.  The rock in this area is mostly shale which is not safe to climb.  For just this reason, Cornell Outdoor Education (COE) has built the largest indoor natural climbing wall in North America.  The wall is 150 feet wide and 30 feet high with every hold made of natural rock.  COE has also just built a bouldering wall on West Campus in the new Noyes Community Recreation Center.  The Kay Bouldering Wall is 30 feet wide and 14 feet high at the highest point.  Both walls are open to the Cornell community (students, staff/faculty and their guests).  For more information about the climbing walls check out: http://www.coe.cornell.edu.

Cornell Outdoor Education also offers physical education courses in skiing, backpacking, rock climbing, mountain biking, kayak, canoeing, tree climbing and many other areas of interest.  The courses are open to everyone with "for credit" options available.  

The Cornell Outing Club (COC) is one of the oldest student organizations at Cornell.  They meet once a week on Tuesday and they are open to everyone.   For more information, check out their website at:  http://cornelloutingclub.org.

Thank you, Greg Billing, for all of this great information.

Uncle Ezra   

Crows,
as many other bird species, roost in large groups.  In the last few
years the crows from the surroundings have chosen the Cornell campus as their winter roosting site.  The birds can come from long distances, some come from as far as Watkins Glen.

It is not quite clear why they choose the Cornell campus, and especially
why they perch at the tops of the branches in cold winter nights.  There
are several hypotheses as to why birds sleep in large groups.  One
hypothesis is for safety; another hypothesis is the "information center
hypothesis".  Under that hypothesis the birds observe each other, and the
hungry ones follow individuals that look well fed in the morning, under
the assumption that these birds know where to find food.

In summer, many hundreds of starlings aggregate in large roost on the
Commons where they perch both in trees and on window sills.  It is not a good idea to spend to much time under large roost as you can
get "dropped on".

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Filmmaker,

Mike Powers, in University Communications, tells me that if you are filming outside a building, you need not take permission from any campus office.  However, if you are filming inside a building, you need to contact the building manager.  If inside the building, you are filming a
class, you need to contact the professor as well.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Possible Transfer,

Sounds like you have a dream; and therefore "go for it."  You lose very little by applying and you have so much to gain if you get in.  Many people transfer to Cornell after strong success in a community college.  Look at the admissions section of Cornell's web site.  It will tell you everything you need to know about how to apply.  At the same time start searching for scholarships that would make it possible for you to attend.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Awesome Alums,

I didn't find the exact price of gas in Ithaca in 1999, but this article makes it seem like your friend could be correct!  Hope you didn't bet too much on this!

Here is a quote directly from CNN Money Online, February 7, 1999. 

"A weak oil market pushed gas prices down almost a penny per gallon, according to the Lundberg gasoline survey. The bi-weekly survey of 10,000 gas stations across the United States showed that the average price of all grades of gasoline was down .94 cents from two weeks ago to just over $1.01 ($1.01.41) per gallon.  Self-serve regular was down a penny to 95.26 cents per gallon.  The oversupply of crude and refined oil products, as well as economic turmoil in Asia, Russia and Latin America has led to the low prices at the pump."

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Just Curious,

Morrill Hall was declared a National Historic Landmark in 1965.  According to The National Historic Landmark Nomination form:

"Morrill Hall stands at the southwest corner of the original campus quadrangle and was first  known as Building No. 1, or South University Building.  The university named it after Justin S. Morrill, the author of the Morrill Land Grant Act of 1862, in 1883.

"The building is a solid structure that looks as if it will endure for a long time.  Begun in 1866 and completed in 1868, Morrill Hall is a four-story building that is made of bluestone that was quarried on the campus. It was designed by Henry W. Wilcox, of Buffalo, and cost $70,111.24. The central section of the building is slightly recessed, which breaks what would have been a very monotonous front. The main doorway has a companion in the middle of either wing.

"Originally, the structure served as a combination dormitory, classroom, and administration building. Today, Morrill Hall is used by the Department of Modern Languages and the Department of Psychology.

"Despite an early Cornell professor's statement that the building, plus some other early structures, could only be improved by dynamiting them, Morrill Hall exemplifies that thought that Cornell and White created an institution that was to be as enduring as that solid stone edifice."

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Nephew,

A Cornell English major should love to read as well as write research papers.  The question about how many hours of work per night is unanswerable -- I would say as many as it takes to get it done.  All students coming to Cornell should know that whatever the level of expectation at his/her high school, the expectations here are higher and more intense.  Don't fall behind.  Be prepared!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Student,

Since it seems as if you are a student in Engineering, you could go to the Engineering Career Office in 201 Carpenter Hall and talk to a counselor or advisor there.  While at the office you can pick up a copy of the "Career Guide", a publication of Cornell Career Services that covers interviewing skills nicely.  The counselor can best advise you on interview attire.  More in-depth interview information is available in the large career library in 103 Barnes Hall.

Another great way to practice for an interview is to find someone who may know something about the field and ask them to interview you.  You might even give them a list of questions that you think you might be asked.  This sometimes really helps decrease the nervousness that comes with a first interview. 

Remember to also go to the interview with a few questions that you have about the job, the company, etc.  Remember that not only is the company looking for an intern that is right for them, but you are looking for an internship that is right for you.  Good luck.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Reader,

Look at question 6 on January 24th for your answer.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Sleep-Lover,

Thanks for the tip.  It seems like many of my nieces and nephews can benefit from advice about getting a good night's sleep.  Nighty-night!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Mentality Founder,

Thank you for sharing that information.  I hadn't heard of Mentality, but I'm glad to know that there are many groups on campus concerned about mental health and wellness. 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Reader,

Thanks for the information.  Being on the Dean's List is quite an accomplishment and deserves to be bragged about.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Katherine,

Thanks.

Uncle Ezra