Dear Tired,

I am so glad that you took this first step of writing to me!  Your feelings of shame are understandable, but you do not deserve them.  Use those painful feelings to motivate yourself to find allies that can help you out of this temporarily stuck place.

Solving a compulsive overeating problem does not simply involve a massive dose of self-control.  It's really about figuring out the reasons for the overeating and developing strategies to address them.  Eating excess food is an excellent way to hide unwanted feelings...the problem is that then the source of the feelings never gets dealt with.  Yes, CAPS can help you look at your triggers to overeating and the reasons behind it.  Identify your concern when you call, in order to connect with one of the CAPS therapists with an expertise in eating issues.

Further help for overeating can be obtained at a nutrition visit.  Certain health and lifestyle factors can cause an increased appetite--these include insufficient sleep (research shows a strong relationship to increased appetite and weight), inadequate or imbalanced food intake during the day, and iron deficiency anemia.  A nutritionist can evaluate your food pattern and look at other factors that need to be addressed in order to improve the overeating--call Gannett Health Services for an appointment (255-5155).

Please don't let your feelings of sadness, frustration, and shame stand in the way.  It's fine to express feelings through crying, especially in the process of getting some help.  So don't give up--some trained assistance really can help, and it's much easier than going it alone.  Best of luck.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Flower Fan,
Cornell's very own "Bulb-man", William "Bulb" Miller, Professor of Horticulture, took the time to answer your question.

"Hey E-man:
Almost certainly this is Iris reticulata, a dwarf and early flowering iris.  It is a bulbous iris, and is normally planted in the fall.  You can buy them from garden centers and by mail order.  There are a number of different cultivars (kinds, or varieties), and are in the blue/purple/lilac color range.  On the fall (the lower petal) there are sometimes yellow or white markings.

"They flower very short (3-6"), then, interestingly, the leaves grow to about 24" as the season progresses after flowering.  It is important to leave the leaves on the plant for photosynthesis to occur, to make more "food" to keep the bulb healthy underground. Then, the leaves die off, and the bulbs remains "dormant" through the summer, receives its low temperature requirement for proper flowering...then comes back in the spring.

"It is usually a pretty good perennial (persists well in the garden), but deer do like them.  There is a related iris, Iris danfordiae, which is yellow and cherry, but it tends to "split" into many ver small bulbs after flowering and does not persist in the landscape as well."

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Helper,
Thanks for the info!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Community-minded,
According to the Ithacan-Online, "The Jungle is a wooded enclave that runs between the Cayuga Lake Inlet and the railroad tracks in Ithaca’s West End and has been attracting the homeless for at least 70 years. Even with sirens blaring in the background and the daily passing of the train, the Jungle has a certain serenity to it."

Having lived in Ithaca probably longer than anyone, I have seen the Jungle change over time, but it has always been a haven for those who don't have a place to live and those who find comfort and community there. 

Gossa Tsegaye, assistant professor of television-radio at Ithaca College, made a wonderful documentary of the Jungle.  You can find out more about it at this site: http://theithacan.org/am/publish/news/200709_Life_in_the_jungle.shtml.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Alum,
What a good sister you have!  In place of some of the old West Campus residence halls we have beautiful, state of the art, res halls that are filled almost before they are built.  Come visit sometime to see all the new buildings and visit me on the Arts Quad.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Western Niece,
There are advantages and disadvantages, and you can do an MBA either through a full-time MBA program (you go to school full-time for two years) or through an Executive MBA program (offered at many institutions, allows you to continue to work full-time while working toward your degree, usually around 2 years as well - this option can frequently be paid for by an employer if you give them a commitment upon graduation to remain with that employer for a certain number of additional years).

The disadvantages include: the cost, the time commitment, and some employers do not consider the MBA more desirable than continue employment and advancement in the industry.

The advantages include: the credentials. Many, many employers believe that the MBA is absolutely necessary to rise within an industry and within organizations. The MBA will also allow you to move more easily between different job functions and responsibilities and not end up pigeon-holed within a certain sector (say within Marketing, or Finance for instance). The MBA is a status symbol as well and indicates a commitment to the field of business and shows that you have dedication, commitment, and strength of character to have completed one. Additionally, if you are able to find an employer that will cover the costs of the MBA program, you then do not have to worry about the cost disadvantage.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Nursing Hopeful,

Cornell used to have a nursing program at the Medical College in NYC but hasn’t for many years.  Uncle Ezra will certainly pass on your request to the appropriate faculty, but I encourage you to make your request known to your individual faculty (and the Dean of your college) as well.  Students voices are often more powerful than any other when it comes to requests for their university experiences. 

And you may know this already but in case you don’t, there are currently several nursing programs available to students in central New York at present (both 2-year and 4-year programs).  These include programs at Tompkins-Cortland Community College, Binghamton University, Arnot Ogden Meeical Center and SUNY Alfred. 

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Curious,
Congratulations on your admission!  On April 1st, CIT began issuing and mailing NetIDs and activation codes to incoming students whose deposits had been received and processed. This process will happen daily until August. Once you receive the letter in the mail, you must take steps to activate the NetID and then set up your email.

For more information on what to expect when, visit http://newstudents.cornell.edu.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Puns and Needles,
There are no set dates for faculty appointment letters being sent. The different academic areas keep their own schedules.  In general, though, spring is the time these letters are generated and sent.  This corresponds with the performance review and/or tenure review process that happens every year.  The “results” of reviews may inform salary and benefit offers.  The only way to get specific information about your department or field is to ask the chair or her/his designee for the planned timeline.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Going Broke,
The Financial Aid Office at Cornell has wonderful counselors who can look at your situation and help you try to reach your goals.  Give them a call, 5-5145,  set up an appointment to see them in Day Hall..

Uncle Ezra   

Dear TL,
Joe Scaffido, Assistant Dean of Students in the Student Activities Office,
says the following in response to your question:
"Most groups operate their own list serves, so the best way to get added
is by contacting the club's officers or advisor.  There may also be
information at the group's website, if they have one. Students can get
contact and/or website information from the student organization's website
at http://sao.cornell.edu/SO.  Students should know that some groups have
list serves that are limited to active members, or executive officers."
There are hundreds of clubs and student organizations on campus; something for everyone!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear
First of all,
I would like to commend you for being out in a fraternity.  I wouldn't say Cornell is scared to foster safe and open social LGBT networking, but I wouldn't say that Cornell is completely free of heterosexism either.  Heterosexism is the institutionalization of straightness as normal, often culminating in a bias exhibited by a community in which their cultural institutions are conditioned to behave as if everyone were heterosexual. It is also the assumption that heterosexuality is the only natural sexuality, which often means that everyone is assumed to be heterosexual or wants to be heterosexual.

Here are some responses to your question from the counselors at faQ-Online.

"I'm not surprised that the question-giver is looking for dating potential outside of the greek system and is having a difficult time. At Cornell, the social atmosphere is dominated by the greek system and the greek system has been traditionally heterosexist in its social networking.  For example, there are frequent mixers between one fraternity and a one sorority. On the surface, mixers are held to foster a better relationship between those two greek houses, but what really happens is that the brothers of the fraternity get to hook up with the sisters of the sorority exclusively for that occasion. I haven't heard of a mixer being held between two fraternities. This is not to say that the greek system is entirely homophobic and intolerant towards LGBT people, but it does mean that LGBT people might have to find resources and social networking outside of the greek system."

Another  faQ counselor adds:  "Another option is getting on social and fraternity boards, from my experience I have seen that many openly gay males are on fraternity social and exec boards."

And more info:
"Since the question-giver is interested in athletic types, one would assume that he should look into social gatherings or parties held by athletic teams, but I have found that those institutions are largely heterosexist. This all paints a rather bleak picture for the question-giver's dating market, but he shouldn't despair. There are many communities, albeit smaller communities, that he should look into. Being an active member of the LGBT community, I encourage the question-giver to give our diverse community another try. Cornell-affiliated LGBT groups are primarily peer social support groups and meetings/activities are designed for support, not necessarily dating scenes. A diverse group of individuals come to our meetings and not every meeting sees the same attendees. Haven organizes at least one dance a semester and many people active and non-active in the LGBT community attend our dances. He may find more success there. I encourage the question-giver to give our groups another try: there is the Gay-Straight Alliance (for everyone who identifies as LGBT and their allies), Outreach (social outreach for gay males), and MOSAIC (for queer and same gender loving People of Color. There's also D.A.S.H. (Direct Action to Stop Heterosexism) if he is interested in advocating for more LGBT-friendly institutions at Cornell. All of these groups create great environments to make friends and find support. Even if he doesn't find dating potential in the group members, he can still make good friends that can introduce him to more LGBT-friendly social scenes."

The social scene in Ithaca is also not limited to groups or gatherings at Cornell. In Ithaca, there is one nightclub called Common Ground that designates most of its nights to the LGBT community. There is also a bar at the Commons called Felicia's Atomic Lounge in which many LGBT Cornellians can be found as well.

"I would like to comfort the question-giver that he is not the first to encounter the lack of easily-accessible LGBT social networking at Cornell. I only say "lack of" because the greek system dominates so much of the social climate that those of us who work hard to provide anything otherwise get trumped by the sheer amount of hetersexist institutionalism. Many of the other members of our groups feel the same way, which is partially why our social support groups exist. I can't guarantee that the question-giver won't feel lonely for the remainder of his 2.5 years at Cornell, but I am confident that he can find friends in the LGBT community that can empathize with him. If he has any more questions about the LGBT community at Cornell or he wants to talk more about his personal situtation, there is always faQ, an online peer mentoring service that is completely confidential and anonymouse. It is available on Wednesdays and Sundays from 8-11pm and can be accessed from main page of the Haven website: www.haven.dos.cornell.edu."

And from Tommy Lei:
"There is also a new greek house being founded this term.  Delta Lambda Phi officially became recognized as an Ithaca colony a few weeks back, and we're having our first neophyte induction within the next two weeks. I want to emphasize that our temporary recognition as an Ithaca colony, because we're still working on presenting our case to the IFC executive board. I believe we'll hear from them soon, hopefully. Originally, we intended to be departmental base and be under the purveyance of the LGBT resource center; however, there are certain bylaws in the Greek life constitution that prevent us from doing so. At the moment, all of the brothers are completing our pledge education. It's been a challenging and rigorous time for all of us, but it has also brought us closer collectively :)  We hope to recruit more people since rush is supposedly a year-round thing (though our official rush week is after Fall semester). You are welcome to attend any of the events we will be organizing in the near future!"

Uncle Ezra