Dear Uncle Ezra - Questions for Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Dear Uncle Ezra,

I've never felt so low.

I recently had a very big term paper due in a class. To cut a long story short I had all my notes ready and tried typing it up the night before but was very tired from having a presentation and exam that same day so decided I would work on it the next day and email it to the professor some time in the evening so at least he would know I got it done by the due day.

That didn't go so well.

I opened my email at 4:15 to find an email from the professor reading "If I don't have your paper by 5:00 pm today you will get a zero for the paper and most likely an F for the class." Needless to say I panicked in a horrible way. In my frantic effort to complete the paper, I definately crossed some Academic Honest lines. Point blank, I plagarized. I copied and pasted whole paragraphs from different websites.

And, inevitably, I got caught.

The professor gave me some very firm words (that I fully deserved), expressed his dissapointment in me, told me I was going to end up failing the class, and said he would NOT report it to judicial affairs because he felt this was "out of character" for me. He also said he would inform his colleagues of my behavior so they would be vigilant in evaluating my work should I be inclined to try that again.

As melodramatic as it sounds, I feel like there's a steel knife in my chest. I feel more guilt, shame, grief, and despair than I know how to put into words. There are very few things I take any degree of pride in and one of them, if not the biggest one, has always been the compliments of my professors and teachers on my engagefullness in class, insight, curiousity, and love of learning for its own sake. Now that I've lost their respect, I've lost a large chunk of my self respect.

I know what you must be thinking; Am I sorry that I did it, or am I sorry that I got caught?

I guess at the time passing the class was what was most important to me, even more than my integrity, which pains me even more for some reason.

I don't know what to do. I'm considering just dropping out of college at this point because I don't feel worthy of continuing. The thought of even just passing that professor in the hall absolutely terrifies me. He was always one of my favorite teachers and a great inspiration and it beyond devestates me to know that I've dissapointed him like this. I sent an email to him saying I was sorry and giving some sort of an explaination (explaination, not excuse)but somehow I don't think it helped.

Then of course there's the obvious fact that this whole situation could've been avoided if I'd just done the responsible thing and finished the assignment ahead of time. Somehow knowing that just adds insult to injury, though maybe I deserve insult as well as injury. My only solace in all of this is knowing that the only person who's really been hurt at all is me. I haven't told my parents, I don't even want to think about how dissapointed they'd be.

I feel like a criminal, a convicted felon who's crime will follow them for the rest of their life.

Uncle Ezra, how do I deal with this situation?

Dear Student,

I print your letter, not only for you, but for all of the students who may contemplate plagiarizing. You are not alone. In fact, in the first year orientation video, a student discusses her experience of having plagiarized, to let new students know that even a mistake this huge, is possible to survive and move past. In fact her situation was very similar to yours.

Your situation points out not only the external consequences of being dishonest, but the internal turmoil that such a decision will cause. For many, even if they aren't caught, they carry around the burden of having broken academic integrity for years.

I am glad that you emailed the professor to explain what happened and took full responsibility for your actions. That is a good first step in beginning to resolve this and find peace again, although that will take some time. The fact that you are so disturbed by this, is a good thing. It indicates that your values and integrity are indeed very strong. The fact that you are suffering will remain in your memory for a long time, encouraging you to make better decisions in the future, even when you are crunched.

Sounds like you learned the importance of finishing things ahead of time instead of leaving so much to the last minute. And you now understand that even with the best intentions and motivation to get things done, your body needs sleep. You have learned that taking illegal shortcuts do not pay off.

Now what you need to understand is that everyone makes mistakes, even huge ones like this. With every crisis there can be opportunity, if you choose to look clearly at the situation and learn from it. It sounds like you have learned a lot. It is not necessary to throw the baby out with the bath water. It makes no sense and is not wise to drop out of college because you made a poor decision. That would only be hiding from the truth and your pain.

What you need to do is to forge ahead with your academic work and prove to yourself that this decision was an anomaly, and show yourself that it will not happen again. Understand that this will be painful and that the pain is a reminder to always be honest in your work.

The email to your professor, as I said, is a good first step. It may also be helpful (although excruciatingly difficult) to stop in to see that professor now or at the beginning of next semester. Share what you learned and how painful it has been and thank him for making it possible for you to learn this invaluable lesson that you will never forget.

You are not a criminal. Hopefully the memory of your "crime" will always be in your mind and therefore deter you from repeating it. The problem with many criminals is that they forget their crimes and therefore repeat them over and over.

Uncle Ezra

HEllo Im at A&S freshman worried about his grades.... ive been under performing and was wondering if i was at rish of being kicked out what are the conditions under which that could happen ... are conditions different for international students on ISSO funding?

Dear UE,

With the closing of the ceramics studio, I am looking for other options for me, a non art major, to do ceramics. I just recently noticed that the Risley dorm has ceramics equipment. Who is allowed to use this? Can those students who are not residents of Risley hall use this space. If we can use it, how do we go about doing this.

Thanks, Depressed potter

Hi Uncle,

I'm wondering if there's a dress code for Cornell Concert Series shows?

Thanks! Your silly niece

DUE,

If I get a C in a class, will I get my admission to cornell rescinded? I have never had a C before. When does a person get rescinded (as in how low are their grades?) Also, how often does cornell rescind an admission?

Best Regards, Scared and Worried

Dear Scared,

As Admissions states in the admission letter, the offer of admission is also contingent upon the satisfactory completion of any school work in progress and on continuing to uphold high standards of character in activities outside the classroom. Enrolling students are required to send a copy of their final transcript to Cornell and we will review final transcripts for enrolling students.

Any significant (and negative changes) in grades can lead to our rescinding an offer of admission. Rather than waiting until summer, you should contact the admissions office in the undergraduate college/school to which you have been admitted to discuss this issue (immediately).

You will be "much" better off if you talk to someone at Cornell now rather than hiding your head in the sand and just hoping that everything will work out. Offers of admission are rescinded every year.

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,

I have a weird problem: I don't think I'll ever get a girl to like me. Personality wise I think I'm ok. I'm pretty easy going most of the time, I try to be nice, I get along with most people. However, I think it would take a true saint to look past my unattractive, oddly proportioned face. Also I'm not the most athletic, smartest, or the most confident person out there, and I'm also too nerdy though I don't want to change that too much.

I have tried to meet people these past two years but I feel like nobody even wants to give me a chance. I even got into shape and cut my hair so I look more or less normal. I'm not too particular about people, Not that I think looks and smarts is everything, but I feel like 90% of girls here are way beyond my league. I just want to find someone who is fun to spend time with and likes me back.

Where else can I look? Am I condemned to be alone forever?

Your ugly duckling of a niece.

Dear Niece,

Without knowing you it's very hard to give advice, but since you seem to be a nice person and genuinely interested in finding friends/ love, I would say that you should know that your trouble finding someone here could have to do more with bad luck than any fault of your own. With the time pressures and academic goals, some people don't prioritize friendships and relationships and so it might be hard to make meaningful and lasting relationships.

I would suggest joining a club or finding a group with those who have a common interest. It's a great way to meet people with similar styles and aspirations.

If you think that your lack of self confidence may be getting in the way, try Toastmasters. They meet weekly in Rhodes Hall at Cornell and have enabled even the most introverted people to be socially at ease and less self conscious, http://cayuga.freetoasthost.us/.

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,

I need to sell my fridge and printer before the semester ends. Is there some Cornell- associated website where students sell and purchase used items? Thank you-

Dear Uncle Ezra,

Do you know how many CU employees (both staff and faculty) volunteer at Cornell or in the community? Do you know how many Cornell retirees volunteer? Do you know how many students do volunteer work? Are students required to do community service? Do you know any departments/units that track this information? Thanks for any help!

Dear Volunteer,

I don't know if anyone has collected the info that you request, but there sure is a lot of community service going on at Cornell.

The Public Service Center (http://www.psc.cornell.edu/) in Barnes Hall (where their motto is: “Engaging students, alumni and faculty with communities since 1991”) not only tracks volunteer activity of Cornellians—they inspire it, facilitate, and celebrate it. For example, scholarships that “require” community service are coordinated through the PSC (although most students report that their good works for others can be the most rewarding “requirement” in their Cornell education.) Check out the Public Service Center, in person or on the Web, but be careful: Community service is contagious!

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,

I am permanently moving from Ithaca to Palo Alto as I am going to start my PhD program at Stanford this Fall (yay!). I have been trying to find a way to ship my car to California, but the Internet reviews are negative on virtually all auto shipping companies. I am wondering if you would be able to recommend one or more as there should be a number of students who have done a long distance car-shipping when they came to Cornell or when they left Cornell.

Thank you!

Dear Graduate,

Trusting your car to a transport company can be daunting. (That photo on the web site of one prominent company, with the transport-truck driver in a Nascar racing suit, has you worried, eh?) Scarier still is the idea of letting a driver (frequently a student heading home for the summer) behind the wheel. (No wonder they make movies about caffeine-fueled road trips).

No way is Your Uncle going to recommend one particular auto-transport company. But here’s some advice from Kelley at a local Allstate office, who says: “The transport company’s insurance should cover anything that goes wrong. Read —and understand and ask hard questions — about their coverage, and get it in writing. Check with your own insurance company to see what coverage you have, when the car is being transported by someone else.”

Uncle Ezra