Dear Uncle Ezra - Questions for Thursday, October 27, 2011

Hey Uncle,

Hope you've been well! I've left the hill to begin graduate school at another institution. Fortunately I thought you might be able to help with an academic situation I find myself in.

Another grad student in my new program is foreign (actually, half of my program is foreign) and her English isn't too great. She's a very nice person, but she's been having trouble following the lectures for our common class because of her language skills. We had a particularly difficult two last lectures, so when she asked if she could borrow my notes to copy them to help study for an upcoming exam, I thought she wanted to review just those two lectures. When I tried to confirm this, she said she would like all of them since our last exam!

Uncle, I've always believed that if you want notes from the class, take them down as they're being discussed in class, and you get what you put into them. Even if my foreign language classes, if something was too hard to write in the language quickly enough, I'd jot it down in English and translate it back later.

She is very nice, and I did offer to help her out. But those are my prized and valuable notes! Obviously she doesn't want my notes because she's lazy, which is why I usually refuse to share notes. I don't want this to become an ongoing arrangement. What do you recommend for my situation?

Fondly, Your far-away niece

Dear Far, Far away,

It is nice to hear how generous you have been with someone who is struggling, but also hear that you are uncomfortable continuing to give her your notes. You will have to decide how you want to respond, but from what you have shared, here is one possibility. "I am glad that my notes have been so helpful to you, but I don't feel comfortable sharing them anymore."

You could suggest that she go to office hours with the questions that she has or possibly join a study group where she can be filled in on some of the things that were to hard for her to understand. You could also invite her to study with you and look through your notes there, if that is acceptable to you. Or meet with her now and then to review some of the material, which might help you learn it more effectively as well. There might also be a "Take Note" service that she could use to get the notes from the class.

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,

I am soo confused! i just feel really overwhelmed with my current major and I just don't feel that it is the right one for me. I am thinking of switching colleges or staying with the same one. But at the same time, I am not sure if I can get into Aem because it is highly competitive. But changing colleges mean you have a lot to catch up and I just don't know if it is worth it. Do you have any suggestions of what to take during spring semester?

Dear Soo confused,

My guess is that you are partially confused because you haven't been talking to anyone who has the information that you need to make this important decision. Make an appointment with someone in the AEM office and they can help you understand your options and decide on a path to follow;

Charles H. Dyson School of Applied Economics and Management Undergraduate Program

135 Warren Hal Ph: 607.254.1281 E-mail: aemug@cornell.edu

Be sure to read their website to understand as much as you can about the major and possibilities for a minor, before you met with them, http://dyson.cornell.edu/undergrad/.

Uncle Ezra

Uncle Ezra,

Additional Information for the question on Halloween happenings. There will also be a haunted house at 112 Edgemoor lane, across from Chi Psi on Oct 29th from 7:30-9:30pm. This is sponsored by the Collegetown Residence Halls & Residential Programs, no one under 16 admitted, because it is so SCARY! This is an annual event in it's 9th year.

Dear Uncle Ezra,

I have problem of procrastination. Sometimes I know how to solve the problems of an assignment, but just can't bring myself to write them down. What happened to me?

Dear Waiting,

Procrastination is a behavior that can come from a whole host of reasons and I can't begin to figure out what is happening in your situation. It could be anxiety, lack of study skills, resistance to a force that you are in opposition to, like your parents, or a being major that wasn't your choice.

Or maybe it is just plain lack of sleep and being overwhelmed. Overcoming procrastination takes work and is not always easy. If you aren’t motivated to change your current study habits, learning time management and other anti-procrastination techniques won’t be helpful. Think about what your goals are for being in college and what it will take for you to reach them.

The Learning Strategies Center at Cornell is a great way to break out of your unhelpful pattern and become more productive. Make an appointment with Michael Chen, msc7@cornell.edu. He can help you sort out what the reasons might be and how to take charge of your education.

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,

I feel that I have become a stalker of my TAs. In the past month, I have sent most of them a minimum of seven emails asking questions and guidance about the materials. To be clear, I am not a stalker, just a very anxious student, especially now, since my prelims are coming. Do you have any advice for this very dependent freshman?

You are the best, Not a Stalker

Dear First Year Student,

Always try to answer your own questions first by looking at the material again. If you end up with a long list of questions, it might make sense to go to office hours to get them all answered at once. Also, if you think you need it, there might be tutoring available for this course that could keep you ahead of the game.

If you are wondering if you are overstepping your good graces, with all of the questions, you can always just check in with a simple... "Sorry that I have been asking so many questions. Is it ok?"

If you find that your anxiety is getting in the way of enjoying your courses and your ability to handle the workload, make an appointment to see a counselor at Gannett. Unwarrented anxiety and worries, could have less to do with the course material and more to do with internal patterns that aren't serving you.

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,

This year, I finally obtained the much-coveted college student desire: An apartment. My close friend and I signed the lease earlier this year, I moved into it in June (when the lease started), and she moved in late in August (when she came back for classes). The thing is, I got pretty used to living by myself during those three months I lived alone. I had a system of organization, a routine for doing things, and a method for keeping the entire place neat and tidy. I was a little apprehensive when she first moved in, knowing it’d be an adjustment. I never adjusted. She leaves dirty dishes in the sink, she rarely remembers to put the toilet seat down, she never wipes up the counter when she spills water on it, and she leaves coffee in the coffee pot all night so I have to clean the thing out first thing in the morning when I get up. I’ve tried to approach her about some things I’d wish she’d do differently—I’m not trying to set down hard and fast rules, just some ways we could keep the place cleaner. However, on the occasions I’ve approached her about this, she’s gotten upset with me. She tells me she feels like she’s living in my house (not her own), that I’m being condescending, and acting like she lives like a pig. It’s true that I slip up on my own rules sometimes, but she consistently disregards the way I’ve been doing things. I try not to nag her, but sometimes I feel like I’m living with a 10-year-old. I feel like I can’t approach the person I live with about things that make me uncomfortable in our living situation because she won’t approach the conversation in a mature and professional manner. My question is, Do I have the right to advocate for the cleanliness I desire? Or do I let her live the way she wishes, since asking her to do otherwise makes her feel uncomfortable in her own home?

Dear Housemate,

This is one of the most common struggles when more than one person is living in a house; whether they are roommates, spouses or family. Sounds like it's time for a conversation between the two of you about all aspects of living together.

You might start the conversation by stating some of the things you enjoy about her and your friendship and then ask for her to talk about what she likes and doesn't like about the living arrangement. There may be some things that she has had to adjust to in order to fill your needs, like noise or heat or friends visiting. Bring up your concerns and see what the two of you can do to come to a solution that works for both of you. There may be some common ground and some areas that you will have to compromise on.

Sometimes it helps to write down the details of the solution and post it on the fridge so all can see what the expectations are, but for some the conversation is all that is necessary. For some, there is great benefit in having a standing weekly gathering to discuss what is going well and what can improve. Pair this with a favorite snack or meal and you also have something to look forward to.

With levels of cleanliness, sometimes the best answer is to hire someone to clean periodically or to take turns doing specific chores, for example, on even days she cleans up the kitchen at night and on odd days it is your turn. These are just random suggestions. The solution the two of you work out will be your own.

Uncle Ezra

Uncle Ez,

I've been trying forever, but I still can't get a straight answer! Hopefully you'll be able to help...

What do I do about my AP credit? I've made 5's on 5 AP exams, meaning that I would meet any minimum-score requirements. I'm in Arts and Sciences. Are we supposed to "claim" credit, like submit a form somewhere? Or does Cornell automatically keep track of our credit (I was under that impression earlier)? I'm afraid that my scores will go to waste if I don't turn in some official form to some official person. Is there anything I need to do?

Thank You, A Confused (but happy!) Freshy

Dear Unc,

I think I have a crush on my best friend's girl. I am attracted to her and I find myself--in many social situations involving my best friend--internally quoting Marvin Gaye: "Let's get it on..." But I know I can't. What's a guy to do?

-Sexually Repressed

Dear Sexually Repressed,

Yes, we are often sexually attracted to those who are not available; movie stars, Teaching Assistants, relatives, best friends girls.. What do you do? You don't act on those feelings.

Find someone else who you are attracted to who is interested in you. Or secretly hope that there may come a time when she is no longer involved with your best friend and then, and only then, see if she has any interest in you.

In the words of the Rolling Stones,

"I saw her today at a reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she would meet her connection
At her feet was her footloose man

No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need"

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,

In general, what do law schools, medical schools, and graduate schools care most about in a prospective student's application? I've heard that they all focus on different things for admissions - could you please enlighten me?

Love, Your Niece

Dear Niece,

There is so much that goes into professional school applications. I couldn't begin to cover everything her. My suggestion; look on the Cornell Career Services website or even better walk on over to their offices in Barnes Hall to check through all of their material. You might also find it very helpful to talk to one of the career counselors there.

Uncle Ezra

Uncle Ezra,

I apologize that this question is quite boring. If I left a jacket in a classroom of GSH and it was not there the next day where might I be able to find it? Is there a lost and found anywhere?

Thanks, Cold Student

Dear cold,

BRRRR! It is cold today. If it isn't in that classroom, check with facilities in GSH. If they don't have it the main Lost and Found for the entire university is in Barton Hall. Everything that is lost is sent to that central location.

Uncle Ezra