Dear Feeling Hopeless,

I can hear how despondent you feel right now and understand that since you are taking a circuitous path to find the right direction you feel like you can't move on.  It is easy for you to see that the glass is half empty, but I can see that the glass is half full.

The disappointment around the discontinuation of your major, was major for you and although now you can see other ways you could have directed yourself, all you can see is disappointment in the present.

You can't change the past and you see that dwelling on it isn't helping, but you can work on making the future work for you.  First let's look at your assets.  You are very intelligent and have a good sense of ethics and fairness.  You are able to endure difficult situations and you did stick with your college "almost" until the end.  If you decide that having that diploma is the right way to go, please open those envelopes and see what they say.  It is possible that all you have to do is finish those two courses and you can have your diploma.  Maybe all you need to do is take the final exams in those courses to pass.  In this way, you could finish up at the school that you originally attended, but sometimes you can take those courses at another school (possibly one that is less stressful and cheaper like a community college) and still get the diploma from your original college.

You also had the courage to tell your mother about your situation.  That is another step towards moving forward and admitting reality so you can deal with it.  Congratulations on beginning the task of identifying the problem and communicating with others.  You also shared a very clear explanation of your situation with me.  I suggest you continue writing (maybe in a journal) to get further clarity on where you are now, what your resources are and where you want to go.

Journaling can be very helpful, but it is also helpful to get an objective opinion when you feel stuck.  Counseling can provide this for you.  Although counseling does help those who have a mental illness, most people who go for counseling do not have a mental illness.  They go because they feel stuck, have experienced a loss, are going through a transition in life, need help figuring out things about relationships or are looking for a sounding board to process a difficult time. 

A counselor can enable you to roll with the punches a bit better, can help you develop ways to create discipline in your life, and take the steps you need to be in touch with your talents, skills, resources and use those to move forward.

Crisis feels like danger, but it is also what most people need to open the doors to new opportunities.  It is very hard to see right now, how all of this mess could be the fodder for a rich and satisfying life, but I'm sure that when you look back on these times, ten years from now, when you are settled and satisfied, you will be able to see how everything contributed to your new and productive life.

Thanks for writing, open those envelopes, meet with an advisor in your college, talk to those who are supportive in your life, "see a shrink", and keep taking those steps to move forward!

Uncle Ezra   

Hello Simida.

You are in luck. The Vet School will be holding its 46^th Annual Open House on Saturday April 14^th, from 10am-4pm.  There will be many exhibits throughout the day, including learning how to milk a cow. 

This event is free and open to the public, so gather your friends, and get ready to mark that off your list.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Computer Seeker, 

Unfortunately, Cornell does not give/sell its used computers to students.  If you are a faculty or staff member, then you should visit http://cats.dfa.cornell.edu/, where you can buy used equipment through the Cornell Assets Transfer System (CATS).

The Computer Reuse Association, a student organization, http://rso.cornell.edu/ccra/ “collects and refurbishes computers, and then donates them to community centers, orphanages, schools, and other organizations.”  

The Fingerlakes ReUse is another option where you can find a slightly used computer.  They are open 7 days a week and are located in the Triphammer Marketplace. Cornell does partner with Fingerlakes Reuse, and frequently donates used equipment. http://fingerlakesreuse.org/index.shtml

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Undervalued,

Rebecca Sparrow, Director of Career Services at Cornell, has provided a list of resources and insights that should be of help. See her message below.

“Congratulations on your success at Cornell – even though you think it is not reflected in your GPA, you still have accomplished great things in persevering through the obstacles you’ve faced! While it seems like you have seen job descriptions that focus on GPA as a determining factor in whether an employer will consider a candidate for a job or internship, most employers in the world are not focused on one’s undergraduate grades. There is a list on page 40 of the Cornell Career Services (CCS) Career Guide of the top ten attributes that employers seek in job candidates; note that academic achievement is not among them. But some of the kinds of skills I’ll bet you have developed are on that list: motivation and initiative, strong work ethic, and flexibility/adaptability, for instance. The trick is to focus on the skills that you do possess and learn how to articulate them with confidence, rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Then, find employers that value your skills. [Remember that the employers participating in the survey that resulted in the list I mention represent a much broader spectrum than those that recruit on campus at Cornell, where you may have seen the GPA requirements included in job descriptions.]

I don’t mean to imply that this is an easy, 1-2-3 process. But it can be done. There are a number of resources that will help you identify your skills and present them effectively in a resume and cover letter. You might want to start with the worksheet on page 5 of the Career Guide, or you might want to meet with a career counselor for some skills assessment. You can use the Career Guide or Optimal Resume to begin work on a resume. Check the CCS calendar to see if there are any workshops that might be helpful. For instance, on Friday of this week there is a program called “Identifying Your Passion to Focus Your Goals.” Career advisors in your college career office or in Barnes Hall will be glad to meet with you to discuss developing a job-search strategy that will help you succeed in finding a job. You might want to start by going to walk-in hours (1:30-4:30 every weekday in 103 Barnes, or check your college office’s schedule), or you could schedule an appointment. We’ll provide feedback on your resume and show you some research tools that will help you find employers. We can also work with you on interview techniques that will help you learn to keep a professional approach to presenting your credentials without having to share too many details about the personal circumstances you’ve faced.

Note, too, that we are starting a job-search club that will meet throughout the rest of the semester. Stop by 103 Barnes Hall to ask for details about that if you’re interested. Finally, I want to ask you to let me know if none of these steps help. It is our goal in Cornell Career Services to help every student succeed in finding a career direction and moving towards it. You can reach me at rms18@cornell.edu or in 103 Barnes Hall. I will do everything I can to help you connect with the right person to help in your search. Good luck with your current job search and your career beyond Cornell!”

Uncle Ezra   

Dear AP Statistics,

Congratulations on your acceptance into this fine university!

Should you score a 4 or 5 in your Statistics AP exam, then you will receive 4 AP credits, and you would be placed in a higher level statistics course.

If you decide to take several AP tests, I have included a useful link that outlines how credit and placement is determined in the College of Arts and Sciences. http://as.cornell.edu/information/orientation/credit.cfm

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Parking Seeker,

You have several options for parking your car during the week.  If you live on-campus, you can buy a permit for one week, but you would be restricted to parking only in North campus.

If you live off-campus, but around the north side, you can buy a commuter pass for a week. With this pass, you will be able to park in any C lot (there’s one by the stadium) for the week. 

If you like these options, then please stop by the Commuter and Parking Services Office at 116 Maple Avenue between the hours of 7:30pm-4pm Monday-Friday or call them at 607-255-4600.

Also, this link to their website may provide additional information. http://www.transportation.cornell.edu/tms/cms/parking/campusparking/< /a>

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Architecturally Inclined,

Before kicking this question over to University Architect Gilbert Delgado, let’s add another adjective to your description of the Blindingly Beautiful PhySciBldg. 

How about “view-licious,” because if you’re lucky enough to have a class in one of the top-floor west-facing rooms with the aforementioned window walls — and the speaker is droning on but you’re looking outside, over the tops of campus landmarks like the Sibley Dome and the Art Museum, over the drowsy town below, far up Cayuga Lake on a sunny day—that’s view-licious.

Meanwhile, over in the Humphreys Service Building (not on any tour of distinguished campus landmarks, unless you’re an engineer or something) University Architect Delgado has been thinking about the glassy, metallic shapes that have been popping up lately, and he has an answer:

“These classifications have become increasingly difficult, but I would say the building is modern.”

Thanks, Mr. Delgado, for that.  And for all Cornellians, this advice: Even if you don’t have classes in the newest buildings, take time to explore them from the inside out. For instance, Milstein Hall with its way-post-modern bathrooms. And the amphitheater desks that rise out of the floor like something in an Austin Powers movie.  Maybe that’s the International (man of mystery) style of architecture

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Gainfully Employed,

I am thrilled that you are still at Cornell.  If you would like to be removed from Denice Cassaro’s listserv, simply email her at dac11@cornell.edu, and she will remove you promptly.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Frustrated Lab Partner,

It is very possible that your lab partner is simply unaware that his comments and actions upset you as much as they do. In fact, he may think that he is actually helping you perform better in your experiments, when in actuality this is just making you annoyed.

I am a fan of the phrase “honesty is the best policy,” but this must be done with tact and couth.  I suggest you speak to him, maybe after class or he after does something particularly annoying. I would simply say, “If is frustrating for me when you re-check my work.  I wonder if you think I can't perform this operation?"  or you could ask, "Do you think that …?” Asking for reasons behind his actions may provide insight into why his is doing certain things. People cannot change their behavior if they do not know it is negatively affecting others.  So be sure to state that his actions are hurtful, and you would prefer that he trust your knowledge and abilities when performing the lab experiments.

If this does not help resolve the situation, speak to your TA, then the professor (if nothing else worked).  Most TAs have experience in dealing with these types of situations, since they were once in your shoes, so he/she may be able to provide some insight into handling this situation.  TAs are more than willing to provide guidance into these situations, so do not be afraid to email or stop in for office hours to discuss this further.

It is also possible that your lab partner has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a condition that leads people to recheck their work and spend time ensuring that everything is in order.  There are advantages and disadvantages to OCD. Cornell Minds Matter will be holding an information session about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder at 12:20 on Friday March 30th in the International Lounge of Willard Straight Hall.  Wai Wong of Gannett will present and answer questions.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Concerned Catholic,

I am sorry that I couldn't get this information on time, but Cornell United Religious Work has information about all things having to do with religion and worship on campus, Office hours:
8:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. Monday through Friday
9:00 a.m. to 11: 00 p.m. Saturday and Sunday

Telephone (607)255-4214

Cornell United Religious Work (CURW) housed in Anabel Taylor Hall, comprised of twenty-nine affiliated communities, offers programs of worship, study, and social life, as well as opportunities for students to engage In interfaith dialogue. CURW is a department in the division of Student and Academic Services.

Each weekend within Anabel Taylor Hall, Catholic Masses, Protestant worship services, Jewish Services (Reform, Conservative and Orthodox) and Muslim prayers are held. For information regarding particular groups and services, you can reach the CURW receptionist at (607) 255-4214.

Uncle Ezra