Dear Curious Cornellian,

“Dear Uncle Ezra” has inspired several other similar websites.  As far as I can tell, only two Ivy League institutions have similar sites.  Maybe my readers know of others that I missed?

Columbia has the “Go Ask Alice” website, where students can ask anonymous questions, but the majority of them focus on health related topics.  http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/

Brown University used to have a site called “The Daily Jolt,” but it was deleted in 2010.  They are now using www.campuslive.com, but it doesn’t have the personal touch that “Dear Uncle Ezra” has.

Other schools that have similar sites include:

Ask Abe at the University of Wisconsin: http://www.uwalumni.com/home/onlinetools/coolstuff/askabe/askabe.asp x

Ask Uncle Sigmund at Appalachian State University: http://www.unclesigmund.appstate.edu/

Ask Lucy at MIT: http://medweb.mit.edu/wellness/healthcolumns/asklucy/submitquesti on.html

Ask Bucky at the University of Wisconsin- Madison: http://vip.wisc.edu/ask-bucky/

Ask Ralphie at the University of Colorado: http://www.colorado.edu/ralphie

Hope that answers your question, and remember President's Skorton's words, "It is ok to ask for help!"

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Parent,

While Your Uncle’s diligent research staffers churn through old student directories, Registrar’s records, and Ithaca phone books and city directories — looking for a street address for Harry Chapin, who was a Cornell sophomore in 1964 — let’s consider a couple clues and one excuse to revisit campus. You know how the song begins:

“Of course I picked a rainy night

To try to find our past

The streetlights all were flickering

The leaves were falling fast

“I walked down the winding road

Looked up through the trees

And I saw the corner window

That you and I once shared.”

Only two roads wind downhill in Collegetown and come to corners with College Ave, namely Oak Ave and Dryden Rd.  (Okay, three if you count the semi-twisty Mitchell Street where it meets College Ave.) Did Harry and his ex-roomie (“But summer never came that year / It’s what you went to find / You took my future with you / and left your past behind”) have their “sweet awakenings” at one of those intersections?

Clue two: Some of Chapin’s place-based songs are largely fictionalized.  For instance, “30,000 Pounds of Bananas,” which Chapin wrote after riding a Greyhound through Scranton, PA, and hearing (from a fellow passenger) the story of the runaway banana truck? The notion that the decapitated truck driver’s widow (“The warm breathed woman / Who was waiting at the journey’s end”) did not even like bananas?   Songwriters make things up. (Sorry for the news.)  And “The Mayor of Candor Lied,” which Chapin wrote after passing through the curiously named Candor, NY, on the way back to campus? A story like that (“What a thing to do to a young man in love / What a thing to do to your daughter”) couldn’t really happen around here.   (Or could it?)

Still no findings from the research crew. So here’s what you, Dear Parent/Alum, ought to do:  Revisit the Cornell campus and take your daughter for a walk around town (”I remember it as if it were today.”) Show her the corner apartment where you and her mother-to-be (“And in the time of having you”) used to live. 

Or not.  Probably a less-than-great idea.   Cancel that.

It is also reported that Harry Chapin performed (which sounds better than “sang for his supper”) at the Dryden Road landmark, Johnny’s Big Red (since shorn of its iconic neon sign, and located across the street from the Royal Palm — which just closed, if you were planning a return trip). Another story has Chapin hustling pool in Willard Straight (that would be in the room that is now referred to as the 5th Floor Lounge).  Maybe there was a kind of Bermuda Triangle (Arts Quad, Johnny’s Big Red, and the Straight) in which Chapin’s memories of place went missing. 

By now the researchers are back, empty-handed.  Chapin was enrolled so intermittently at Cornell —trying to learn architecture (or was it philosophy?), losing his scholarship and dropping out in 1964 — that he left few tracks in student directories and phone books.  The Registrar’s Office has reasonably good records for degree recipients.  And not so much re. those who flunked, formed a family band, and  went on the road with Dad as the drummer. 

Now there’s a better idea — a career change for the both of you.  How are your daughter’s grades — and her guitar lessons lately?

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Slightly Wiser Graduate,

This inquiry is a sign that you have learned and grown throughout your time here at Cornell.  It takes a very strong person to admit their mistakes and apologize.

The best thing you could do is write a thank you letter to the Financial Aid Office. This has a more personal touch than an email, and should brighten the day of the university staff.  Send your appreciation to the address listed below.

Office of Financial Aid and Student Employment
203 Day Hall, Cornell University

Ithaca, New York 14853

Uncle Ezra   

Sad Segway-missing Senior,

When the Segway Kid (as you call him) first registered his scooter with Cornell Transportation (http://www.transportation.cornell.edu/) back in 2009, that department didn’t have a category for Segways.  They could deal with bicycles (which should be registered if used on campus) and state-licensed mopeds, motorcycles and scooters, as well as cars and trucks that can be parked on campus. Segways were relatively new then.

So the policy wonks at Transportation came up with Category 10.1.2 EPAMD, which stands for Electric Personal Assistive Mobility Device — further defined as a “self-balancing, two non-tandem wheeled device designed to transport one person by means of an electric propulsion system.”

And for the next couple years the Segway Kid scooted legally about campus, drawing appreciative stares from those who thought:  “I was afraid only M.I.T. and Stanford geeks would have those things.”

And then the Kid dismounted, and hasn’t glided through lately.  Transportation doesn’t release names of people registering with them — except to note that Segway Kid would be a junior if he’s still enrolled here.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Sensitive Econ Major,

Your architectural criticism has deeply wounded the faculty of several departments housed in Uris Hall (Sociology, Psychology, Economics for instance) since they’re kind of fond of “Old Rusty.” 

And the “rusty” part should be a clue that the exposed structural metal in Uris Hall had very little chance of achieving the Statue of Liberty’s copper patina. That unpainted steel frame was always intended to oxidize to the brownish hue you see today (not to Cornell red, although that makes a nice story). Put another way, rust is a finish coat on the steel—to keep it from rusting even more. 

But you’re right about one thing:  A dedicated Economics Department Building is needed.  Here’s hoping you can put your degree to work when you graduate; make a zillion dollars; give some to Cornell; where you can specify the architectural design and the paint job, too.

Uncle Ezra   

Querido “Dear” Hoping to Speak Spanish,

The first thing you should do is figure out your level of proficiency in Spanish.  To identify which class is most appropriate for you, you should take the Spanish Language Placement Test. http://www.arts.cornell.edu/romance/shared_info/language_placement .html

Depending on your score on this test, you will know which classes you qualify for.  From here, I would suggest taking a course on Spanish composition and conversation.  This will give you the basis conversation skills needed in any arena.

Another option is to take a spanish class through CUSLAR at Cornell.

SPRING 2012 LANGUAGE CLASSES WITH CUSLAR(held every semester and summer)

Want to Learn SPANISH  - For work, research, travel, activism, or fun?

CUSLAR (The Committee on U.S.-Latin American Relations) offers Spanish classes year-round as part of our educational programming. Our language courses provide you the opportunity to learn a language in a small-group setting with a curriculum tailored to fit your learning needs and goals.

Beginning Spanish: Mon-Wed. 5-6 pm.
Intermediate Spanish: Mon-Wed. 6:10-7:10 pm.

Please contact us at cuslarlanguages@gmail.com.
*Registration fee- $395  Spanish: Beginning & Intermediate classes.

Additionally, you can take part in the “Solamente Español,” a time where students meet to practice their conversational abilities in Spanish.  This takes place on Fridays from 10:30 am - 12 pm on the 4th Floor of Rockefeller Hall. Who knows, you may find someone who shares a passion for agriculture and Spanish.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Food Safety Conscience Consumer,   It is Cornell Dining’s mission to be a leader in the college and university food service industry by providing exceptional food and service experiences to the Cornell community.  That being said, our number one priority is to serve food safely.  We take very seriously our commitment to food safety.  Please be assured that it is our procedure to wash all fruit before it is served, including berries.  Apples are washed by the orchards from which we purchase them.    Training is a big part of our food safety program.  Cornell Dining employees complete numerous food safety courses and certificate programs each year.  In fact, Cornell Dining uses the National Environmental Health Association’s (NEHA) Food Safety certification program. This organization is the oldest and largest organization in the United States credentialing sanitarians and inspection professionals in air, water, food, and environmental quality and standards.  We have one NEHA certified instructor and two NEHA certified exam proctors on staff.   The basic certification level, “Professional Food Handler” has been completed by 190 dining staff.  The “Food Safety Manager” certification has been awarded to 106 Dining staff.  Approximately 75 student staff (student managers and supervisors) has earned one of the two certifications.  The certification courses cover the information and enforcement of the FDA Federal Food Code, coverings every aspect of food handling and food safety protocol from purchasing to serving the customer.   Thank you for your concern regarding the food that we serve in our dining units.  In the future, if you feel that you have encountered a food safety issue in one of our dining units, please contact the dining unit manager or chef immediately to make them aware of the situation.  

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Student,

I’m sorry to hear you’re disappointed with your housing arrangement for next year.

As you know, each of the Gothic buildings is part of one of the West Campus Houses. Founders is one of five buildings that make up the Flora Rose House community. One of the missions of the West Campus House System is to create a close-knit community around a dining room, study areas, and other shared spaces. While the Gothics do not have their own dining rooms, and many do not have their own laundry facilities, residents dine and do their laundry at the main building in their community, thereby encouraging interaction with their fellow House residents, the House Professor-Dean, and House’s Faculty Fellows and Graduate Resident Fellows.

As for Room Selection, I’m assuming when you say you had a #4 timeslot that you meant your timeslot was at 5:00pm on Monday, March 5. And, when you say you were “closed out of the newer housing,” I can only assume you were looking for a five-person block in one of the new West Campus buildings. By just before your timeslot, the last five-person block in the House System’s new buildings had been reserved. Approximately 60 students get timeslots within each 20-minute period, and each one of those students can pull in up to four students to live or block together. This year, within the first three timeslots (or the first hour), 564 beds were reserved in the new West Campus buildings. However, there were beds available in the new West Campus buildings until about 9:30 that night – just not multi-person blocks.

According to the Housing & Dining Contracts Office, the VAST majority of students who express initial disappointment with their housing assignment end up being quite happy where they’re living. However, if you end up not liking your living arrangement, you may submit a Room Change Request once you get back to campus in the Fall.

Warm regards, Uncle Ezra

Uncle Ezra   

Dear West Campus Imagineer,

Now you know why Your Uncle hates to make architectural predictions — even with attribution and quote marks all around — because such prognostications all too often come back, years after the construction dust settles, to bite.

To be fair, let’s review Jean Reese’s three comparative “design cues:” Roof pitch?  Pretty close, give or take a few degrees.  Window scale and treatment?   Again, could have been worse.  But the exterior colors!  Does anyone even know what color those new things are?

All that “majestic, valorous, grand atmosphere” stonework isn’t going anywhere — whether you pass through on the way to the newer buildings, or look out from within.   

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Future Cornellian,

Congratulations on getting accepted into this fine institution.  This is quite an accomplishment, and I respect your drive and ambition to attend medical school.

Your acceptance as an early decision candidate shows the potential and ability you have to succeed in college.  You shouldn’t have concerns about being the dumbest person, because you have proved yourself thus far.  Another way to look at is to think about how wonderful it will be to join a community of interesting intelligent people wo you will thrive with.

I do not have any statistics that would be very helpful for you.  Once you arrive here, if you still have concerns about holding your own, you would do yourself a great service by consulting with a pre-health careers advisor in your college (Arts and Sciences, CALS, Hum Ec, etc.  They can provide a wealth of knowledge and information regarding what it takes to secure a spot in an Ivy League medical school.

I have included a link to the Health Careers Guide for Pre-Applicants.  This includes information that will help you ensure you stay on track to get into medical school.

http://www.career.cornell.edu/HealthCareers/humanMedicine/default.h tml

You can ben successful thus far, so don’t begin to doubt yourself now.

Uncle Ezra