- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 1 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Uncle Ezra,
Why is it that when you say you are a law student all the undergrads
run the other other way?
It's not bad breath
Dear I.N.B.B., Maybe it's your briefs? Joking aside, try to get to know someone a
little before announcing that you're a law student. While you should be
proud of your status, your fellow students have made a reputation for
themselves which may not be a fair representation of your intents. Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 2 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
dear unc
why is there so much yellow snow on the engineering quad?
i aint gonna have a snowball fight there!
sincerely,
p-o'd
Dear P-O'd, As you have probably noticed, there are many dogs on the Cornell
campus. Each is driven to leave his/her "mark" where others can
see/smell it. Net result? Yellow snow. Why not try a snowball fight
in the Plantations? There are fewer dogs there. Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 3 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hey dude,
Is it true that if your roommate committs suicide that you will
be given an automatic 4.0 for that semester? What if he/she just
dies. I realize that this is not a subject to be joked about, but
many people have told me this and I am curious if it is true or not.
Curious
Dear Curious, It is a myth. If a roommate commits suicide or dies everybody
loses. Counseling is available to the survivor(s), but there's no
consolation prize. Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 4 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Uncle Ezra
I'm a graduate student in my final (hopfully) semester. My thesis
research is coming along nicely so I can actually see the daylight
some afternoons and even catch a movie on the weekends. Unfortunately
my other grad friends are either coupled or taking A-exams. How do
I meet other FUN grad students? Should I even bother considering
that my job next year probably won't be in Ithaca? Am I too old
to be feeling Senioritis? How can I deal with making/losing friends?
Im afraid to call EARS I know many of their counselors. Any advice
for one who's tired of spending Saturday nights with her computer?
Sincerely,
Ph.D. 2 B
Dear PHD2B (and regards to R2D2 and C3PO), Congratulations on being in your final (hopefully) semester. I know
what you mean about how strange it is to have some time available for
nonstudy activities, only to find that you are stuck on what to do with
that time and whom to do it with. I do have some suggestions, but as we
don't know each other you must realize that some may not appeal to you.
But here goes. One of the best ways to meet people is to go where people are.
Leisure-time activities offer great opportunities to meet other folks,
many of whom will have similar interests as demonstrated by their being
at the same event as you. The two local free papers, the Grapevine and
the Ithaca Times, list many fun and free events each week. These range
from art appreciation to Zen, with many activities in between. On
campus, the Grad Activities Funding Commission offers a good chance to
become involved in campus grad activities. Naturally, many of the
groups which they fund provide opportunities to do something interesting
and perhaps make some new friends. The complete list of student clubs is available from the Activities Center (TAC) at 530 Willard Straight
Hall, but I'll name a few to whet your appetite:
Students Against S.D.I.,
International Association of Camel Breeders, Cornell Folkdancers, Jitterbug
Club, Philomela:
the Cornell Music Society, and the Women's Planning Forum.
Also, almost every graduate and professional field has one or more social or
academic groups. Grads for Grads (Bill Pugh, President, 257-6994) is a fun
group that brought you that big dance party in the Big Red Barn last semester
and is planning a few more great events for this semseter. In response to your second comment about senioritis, I think that any
time a person is comtemplating big moves and changes, her (or his) life
often feels out of kilter, and the old routines may seem irrelevant or
not so much fun. You might be interested in a new personal growth group
that is being formed right now called The Graduate Group. It will meet
all semester and will provide an opportunity to discuss issues relevant
to the participants, such as planning for the future, thesis writing and
relationships. Call Stu Hayes at 255-6214 to get more information. Good luck with your thesis and other things here. Uncle Ezra Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 5 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Ezra:
I wanted to briefly comment on the letter from the graduate student -
not in it for the money (page 19). I found his/her heated response unexpected
and frankly without much empathy. I am in my 5th year of grad school and I am
looking 1 or 2 more years in the face. I have to say that my early idealism is
wearing off and I am now more concerned about things like, yes, MONEY. I don't
need much but I would like to afford to go to the dentist. Therefore, I can
sympathize with graduate students that are finding the personal and financial
strain of graduate school to be excessive. Unfortunately, Cornell does not do
much to help us out. If the costs are too high, remember that you don't need a
PhD to be a productive and caring individual. On the other hand, if you can
hold on for a bit you will realize that your degree can only open future oppor-
tunities. So, remember there is a big difference between wanting to be rich,
rich, rich and wanting fair and simple benefits such as health care, a vegetable
garden, money to buy books, child care costs, etc. And remember, it's not fair
to expect someone to choose between their academic idealism and the financial
security of their family. Teachers just don't earn enough to pay off the kind
of debt that may be required to pay for graduate school. s/In the grad minority
Dear I.T.G.M., In my opinion, you're in the majority. I couldn't have said it
better myself. Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 6 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
dear unc,
Someone once told me that there are only 2 poisonous mammals.
One is the male duck-billed platypus, and I forgot the other.
By the way, I asked you a while back, why there an no mongooses allowed
in the U.S., but I never got a response.
Thanks...
MR. LIZARD
Dear Mr. Lizard, Based on current events, I'd have to say the other poisonous mammal
is human.
I asked a number of people about mongooses; no-one seems to know.
Any guesses, Readers? Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 7 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
DEAR UNC EZRA,
I'M AN UPPER JUNIOR NOW AND AM IN NEED OF FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP, BUT HAVE
NOT FOUND ANY IN ALL MY SIX SEMESTERS HERE. PRESUMABLY, IT WOULD
BE EVEN HARDER TO FIND A GIRLFRIEND NEXT YEAR WHEN I'M A SENIOR BECAUSE
WHAT GIRL WOULD FORM ATTACHMENTS TO AN "OLD MAN" SOON TO GRADUATE? ARE
THERE ANY STUDIES ON THE SOCIAL LIVES OF AVERAGE CORNELLIANS?
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE. SINCERELY, OLD MAN
(reach out that arthritic finger and turn the page for Ezra's response)
Dear Old Man, It's never too late, and you're never too old. Perhaps it has
something to do with your approach?
I'm not aware of any formal studies on the social lives of
Cornellians, but if letters to Uncle Ezra are any indication, you
have lots of company. There seem to be many lonely people here wondering
how to meet each other. Despite more than 500 student organizations,
people have trouble making contact. You start by being friendly with
someone, then having the courage to ask for a date. No magic, just
courage.
There is a Personal Growth Workshop being offered that addresses
this theme:
"Building Satisfying Relationships." It meets Tuesdays
4:
30 - 6:
30 p.m., starting February 10th. For more information, or to
sign up, call 255-3608. Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 8 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Ezra cat,
If I had known about the foreign language requirement, I probably
would have applied and gone to Columbia instead. Do they have this
requirement? I am a xenophobe and am offended by this requirement.
Does Cornell offer any courses that would prepare me for my
future occupational goal, namely dealing arms to Central America
or the Middle East? Also, how legal is this occupation? Do you think
that economics is an appropriate major for my goal? Not only would I
make a lot of money, but also I would end the foreign language
requirement by killing all foreigners indirectly.
Thank you for your time bud.
P.S. Who thought of the name "chubby" for the new sandwich in the
Ivy Room? I am offended because this has graphic sexual connotations.
Xeno
Dear Xeno, Through experience I have learned that many times a joke represents
a person's true (but hidden) feelings. I hope you are an exception,
because if you believe any of what you said about "foreigners", I don't
want to correspond with you. The world has too much hate already. If
you think you're a comedian, you're wrong. If you are a xenophobe, I
suggest you get counseling. Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 9 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
dear uncle ezzzzrrrrraaaaa
i was sitting here innocently reading this when my boyfriend
started nibbling on my neck. what should i do?
decisions, decisions
Dear D.D.
Now that's an easy one! There are many forms of entertainment,
some more active than others. Enjoy! Uncle Ezra |
