- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 1 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear UE and his/her/its little helpers,
MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HANUKKAH/JOYOUS SOLSTICE!
Have you noticed how difficult it is to wish someone a happy holiday
at Cornell without upsetting SOMEone? Lighten up, Cornell !!!
Another fan
(That isn't a question, just a Christmas card!)
Dear Fan, Thanks for your good wishes. Happy holidays to you, too. Yes, I've noticed that people take offense. Try to keep in mind, though,
that victims of oppression have learned that constant vigilance and educa- tion
are necessary so we all can learn "the errors of our ways". Otherwise,
underlying assumptions can lead to inconsiderate words or harmful actions. There is one holiday wish I think we all share:
Peace on Earth, good will
to everyone. Uncle Ezra Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 2 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
dear uncle ezra,
i would like to know what options exist for graduate students who are
being sexually approached by their professors. saying no is obvious, but
the strings of committees and funding sources are also tangled up in this
web. how to put an end to this that will insure that we don't get burned
in areas where the power imbalance is so great?
Looking For Options
Dear Looking For Options, You raise significant questions. Carolyn McPherson, the Coordinator of
Women's Services in the Office of Equal Opportunity, 234 Day Hall, responded as
follows: "Your recent letter emphasizes an area that is of great concern to many of
us in the administration at Cornell and we are working on ways to address this
very serious problem. Sexual harassment is a violation of federal and state
laws and Cornell policy, and it is impossible for women to achieve their full
potential if they are sexaully harassed by their professors. "Without question, graduate students face an exceedingly difficult
situation when they are sexually approached by their professors. For all the
reasons you cite, sexual harassment complaints from graduate students must be
handled with great care and sensitivity to insure that graduate students will
not get burned. I want to assure you that there are steps that can be taken,
and we have had success in dealing with these situations.
"In addition to saying no, a student can write a letter to a professor.
Describe what happened and how it made you feel. State that you want the
harassment to stop. I realize that it is hard to confront the harassment in
this way, but several studies have shown a letter of this sort is the most
effective way of dealing with sexual harassment. Sometimes this type of letter
gets the professor's attention in a way that verbal response does not. Knowing
that a paper trail describing his behavior now exists is sometimes enough to
stop the harassment. Of course, you should keep a copy.
"It is important for you to keep a record of what happened and when.
Include dates, places, names of people involved and of witnesses, descriptions
of the behaviors, and your response to the harassment. This type of record is very helpful if you decide to report the problem now or at a later
date.
"I strongly encourage you and other graduate students to talk with
Joycelyn Hart (255-5358) or me (Carolyn McPherson, 255-3976) about any
situation in which sexual harassment is happening. We want to work with you in
resolving the situation to eliminate the sexual harassment. Discussions with us
are confidential, and are protected from retaliation. If you do not want to be
identified, we can investigate the complaint without disclosing names or
specific details. We are sensitive to the dilemmas faced by graduate students,
and we will work with graduate students in finding a satisfactory resolution to
the complaint.
"Sexual harassment is an extremely stressful situation. It often
undermines your self-esteem and self-confidence and can affect your academic
performance as well as your personal life. It is very important for someone
going through this kind of situation to have someone to talk to. That person
can be a trusted and close friend or a professional counselor. There are
counselors at University Health Services specially trained to deal with these kinds of situations. Even if you choose not to report the
harassment, I strongly suggest you find someone with whom you can talk about
your situation.
"While we strongly urge you to deal with the sexual harassment while you
are a student here, we realize that you may decide the risks are too great.
Even if you don't want to do anything about it while you are a student, please
let us know about the incidents when you graduate. We can then take action to
stop the sexual harassment and hopefully make life better for the graduate
women who follow you.
"If there is any way in which I can be of help, please call me."
Sincerely,
Carolyn J. McPherson,
Coordinator of Women's Services, OEO In short, there is confidential help available. Carolyn, Joycelyn, and
others are willing to work with (and protect) people who are being harassed.
They are also willing to consult with faculty and staff who want to learn more
about sexual harassment to insure they are not violating anyone's rights.
Surely, as Bob Dylan sang, "The times, they are a changin'." It's about time! Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 3 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Uncle Ezra,
I feel like a complete idiot. I know there is a problem with sexual
harassment at Cornell. I hear about it all the time, and I can sense the
tension in female students when they come to office hours. But I guess I have
been blissfully ignorant of the extent of the problem. That's why my
suggestions for "Depressed Grad Student" (p. 5 above) were so far off base. I
reread both of her letters, and I still don't see any clues that indicate that
the problem was one of sexual harassment, except the ambiguous comment about
"interpersonal intensity". I'm afraid this means that I must be a lot more
insensitive than I thought I was or would like to be. My question, then, is:
how can I change this?
My next question is:
what can I do to help those who are trying to address
the problem of sexual harassment? It makes me really angry to think that we are
losing people like "Depressed"--with all they have to offer-- simply because
some faculty are thinking with the wrong part of their anatomies. I think these
people should be in counseling to find out what is so lacking in their
characters that they need to exploit others. The academic community could do without their contributions more easily than those of the talented and
promising students they are discouraging.
What should I do if a student tells me she is being sexually harassed by a
professor? Should I approach him individually or go through channels? What
should I do if I hear things about faculty from other grad students? I once
told a faculty member that I could not seriously consider working with him
because of the things I had heard about him from female grad students, but I
doubt whether this did any good. It may have made him try to be more discrete;
he may have even shrugged it off, but maybe he got the message that certain
conduct is unacceptable, and his reputation would suffer unless he straightened
out. Is this hopelessly naive?
I really sympathize with "Depressed's" reluctance to take the risks
involved in coming forward. I mean I think its the right thing to do, but I can
understand why she doesn't want to. Is it reaaly true that nothing can be done
without the victim's having to come forward? Why is it that a murder victim's
testimony is not required to obtain a conviction, but that of a sexual
harassment victim is? Isn't there anything that third parties can do? It seems as if the system were set up in such a way as to create a perfect
environment for sexual harassment. The perpetrators are protected, and the
victims quietly disappear. The victim's cooperation is virtually assured, but
what about the rest of the community? Can't something be done to make these
creeps less comfortable?
Once again, I apologize for my verbosity.
Key Seeker
Dear Key Seeker, If more people thought and acted like you do, sexual harassment would not
be as big an issue at Cornell. You raise a number of points; I'll respond to
some briefly now, and I'll try to get back to you when I get more information
later.
There's little need to doubt your sensitivity. Years of counseling
experience have helped me learn to read between the lines. "... My chair is
actually a large part of the reason ..." and "... not cut out for the
interpersonal intensity ..." were key phrases. I guessed sexual harassment
might be involved, and unfortunately I was right. As you hear more horror stories, you'll be more sensitive too.
What can you do to help? From what you've said, you're already helping.
You are sensitive to the issue of sexual harassment, and you have been brave
enough to confront a faculty member who was harassing students. If more people
did this, there would not be such a problem. Some men may benefit from
counseling, but I think even more just need to learn that certain behaviors are
sexually harassing, and must stop.
If you learn that a student is being sexually harassed, provide support to
her and encourage her to take action through official channels. If you
intervene, no patterns of abuse can be identified. She should say "no" to the
harasser, write a note asking that the behavior stop (and keep a copy), and
keep a record of what happened and when. If the harassment does not stop, she
should report it to the Ombudsman (116 Stimson Hall, 255-4321) or to the Office
of Equal Opportunity (234 Day Hall, 255-3976.) You can report anything you've
heard to the same offices. Somebody has to make a report before the University
can respond directly to a harasser, but the University can respond without
naming the person who filed a complaint - especially when more than one person has identified a person or department.
What more can you do? If I remember, you have some teaching
responsibilities. According to Carolyn McPherson in the Office of Equal
Opportunity (234 Day Hall, 255-3976), they are beginning to plan workshops on
sexual harassment for faculty. She would welcome your assistance. Please stop
by her office and let her know you'd like to volunteer.
Thanks for being part of the solution. Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 4 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
DUE - I HAVE A NUMBER OF QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN PLAGUING ME FOR SOME TIME.
1. IS FRANK RHODES GAY?
2. IS THERE SUCH A THING AS AN HONORS PROGRAM IN THE AG. SCHOOL
BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT IT OR SEEMS TO CARE.
3. WHY DID I COME TO THIS SCHOOL?
4. WILL I GRADUATE?
5. WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE SUPPOSE TO BE LEARNING IN THE MAJOR OF
COMMUNICATIONS BESIDES MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS?
6. HOW DO COMPUTERS WORK?
7. WHY ARE WE ALLOWED TO EAT IN MANN LIBRARY AND NOT THE OTHERS?
8. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF SLOPED DESKS IN MANN?
9. HOW OLD ARE YOU AND HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE? ARE YOU
ANIMAL, VEGETABLE OR MINERAL?
10. ARE CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS MEMBERS OF A CULT? I MISSED THE CULT
AWARENESS LECTURE IN MY DORM.
THANKS FOR YOUR TIME AND GOOD LUCK ANSWERING THE MORE DIFFICULT QUESTIONS.
LOVE, THE BORED MEMBERS OF COMM. 410
Dear Bored 410ers, You really gave me a project. I'm jealous, though - I wish I had time to
be bored. Becoming Uncle Ezra put an end to those rare occasions. Maybe that's
why they say "youth is wasted on the young." You're bored, I'm busy, you give
me questions, you're bored waiting for answers, I'm busy researching and ...
Regarding Mann:
You are only allowed to eat in the parts of Mann Library
where there are no stacks and where you cannot ruin any books or machinery.
Some of the desks in Mann are sloped so that you can prop your books up and see
a few of them at a time. This is particularly useful when doing reseach.
There is an honors program in the Ag School. According to Cornell's
"Courses of Study Guide", in addition to completing the requirements for your
degree, you must "have satisfactorily completed the honors program in your area
of major interest and have been recommended for the degree by the honors
committee of that area." For more information or for an application, you can
check with your College Registrar in 192 Roberts Hall, 255-2017.
How do computers work? By going 010110100101010 very quickly. For more
information, I suggest you read, take some courses, and/or continue using one. As to why you came here, whether or not you will graduate, and what you
should be learning, I cannot answer these. They are important questions to
ask, but the answers will be different for each of you. If you are truly
confused, you might want to talk with your academic advisor, a Communications
Arts professor (Brian Earle & Steve Worland come to mind as being caring and
approachable), or someone in Ag Student Services, 17 Roberts Hall, 255-2257.
Is Christian Science a cult? That depends on your definition of a cult. I
don't think so, but that's just one person's opinion. If you are interested in
finding out more about then, you can give their office a call at 272-1650 or go
down to their reading room at 103 Aurora Street. Then you can decide.
Is Frank Rhodes gay? Who knows? Who cares? He is married and has at
least one child, if that matters. As far as I'm concerned, his sexual/
affectional orientation is his business. What's important to me is that he
does his job well, and he seems open to dialogue with students, faculty, staff,
trustees, alumni, and members of the community.
Animal, vegetable, or mineral? Spirit. Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 5 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
DEAR UNCLE,
COULD YOU PLEASE ASK THE US POSTAL SERVICE TO INSTALL A STAMP MACHINE IN WEST
CAMPUS MAILROOM. I FIND IT PRETTY LUDICROUS THAT YOU CAN HAVE YOUR LETTER
WEIGHED FOR YOU, BUT NOBODY WILL SELL YOU STAMPS UNLESS YOU GO TO NOYES CENTER
AND THEIR SUPPLY IS REALLY IRREGULAR. WHY WON'T THE MAILROOM CLERKS SELL
STAMPS ANYHOW. IF NOYES DOES IT, SO SHOULD THEY.
PINKY
Dear Pinky, I don't know why, but the Postal Service doesn't want to install a stamp
machine on West Campus. Maybe they feel that two post offices on campus should
be enough to serve the University's needs. The West Campus Area office does
not want to sell stamps in the mailroom. They feel the student workers have
enough responsibility without having to worry about the cash. The office
looked into having a private company install a stamp machine but, apparently,
that was not feasible. So, it looks as though you'll have to be content with
buying stamps at the Noyes desk. Or you could try my approach and buy a roll -
that would save you from the trauma of a letter without postage. Uncle Ezra Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 6 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
DUE,
I TOO WAS DEPRESSED BY THE GRAD STUDENT THAT IS NOW LEAVING CORNELL
BECAUSE OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT (see p.2 above). TO SOME EXTENT, I AM GLAD THAT
SHE --IT IS A WOMAN, I GUESS--IS DOING SOMETHING TO CHANGE HER SITUATION RATHER
THAN FEELING AS IF SHE MUST ENDURE IT. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO WOULD BE EVEN UNABLE
TO TAKE THAT STEP, OF LEAVING THE UNIVERSITY. THE EXPERIENCE WOULD DESTROY THEM
TO THE POINT THAT ANY ACTION, ANY DECISION WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE.
AT THE SAME TIME, I REALLY WISH SHE WOULD AT LEAST, EVEN ANONYMOUSLY, GIVE
THE NAME OF THE RAT WHO HAS CAUSED HER TO DO THIS, TO LEAVE CORNELL. SEXUAL
HARRASSMENT AT CORNELL WOULD NOT BE TOLERATED. SHE COULD HAVE REVENGE--HAVE
HIS CAREER AND DREAMS RUINED INSTEAD OF HERS.
IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, WHERE I WAS GROWING UP, A GIRL COMMITTED SUICIDE. IT
WAS A DRUG OVERDOSE. BEING THE EARLY SEVENTIES, PEOPLE BLAMED THE HIPPIE
CULTURE. ABOUT TEN YEARS LATER, HER HALF SISTER LET IT BE KNOWN THAT HER
STEP-FATHER WAS SEXUALLY ABUSING HER, AND HER OLDER SISTER. THERE WAS A BIG TRIAL, AND THE MAN WAS SENT TO THE STATE PENITENTIARY FOR RAPE. NOW,
PEOPLE ARE BEGINNING TO THINK THAT SHEILAS SUICIDE WAS CAUSED BECAUSE HER
FATHER WAS ABUSING HER AS WELL.
SHEILA DID THE EQUIVILENT OF THE WOMAN WHO IS LEAVING CORNELL. THE
SITUATION FOR BOTH WAS INTOLERABLE; THE SOLUTION IS TO LEAVE. UNFORTUNATELY FOR
SHEILA, ITS HARDER FOR A TEEN AGER TO LEAVE A FAMILY THAN A GRAD STUDENT TO
LEAVE CORNELL.
IF SHEILA WOULD HAVE REPORTED ON HER FATHER, HOWEVER, PERHAPS HER TWO
YOUNGER STEP-SISTERS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABUSED AS WELL. IT TOOK THE YOUNGEST,
AFTER THE OTHER TWO HAD GONE THROUGH THIS NIGHTMARE, TO SPEAK OUT. THREE GIRLS
LIVES TORN APART, RATHER THAN ONE.
DEAR LEAVING GRADUATE STUDENT,
I REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH A
HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE, BUT BY NOT BRINGING THIS JERK TO JUSTICE, YOU ARE
CONDEMNING OTHER WOMEN TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE SAME HELL THAT YOU HAVE GONE
THROUGH. PLEASE PLEASE YOU OWE IT TO ALL OF US TO DO SOMETHING.
SINCERELY, ANOTHER GRAD STUDENT
Dear AGS, Your point is absolutely correct. In the past our society has usually let
the victim bear all the consequences of sexual harassment and abuse. These
consequences can be severe. Our society will not change until victims speak
up.
You will be pleased to learn the Depressed Grad Student has agreed to talk
with Associate Vice President Joycelyn Hart about her experience. As more women
take this courageous step perpetrators will be forced to act differently or
leave.
You might also be interested in the following question and response.
Let's get the momentum moving against sexual harassment! Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 7 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Uncle Ezra,
Hello! It's me again (see OCT87 p.166). I thought you might like to know
how I am progressing (or is it regressing?). Anyway, I spoke to a therapist in
Psych Services two weeks ago and have been depressed ever since. I really need
help! I can't seem to think straight anymore. I had an absolutuely horible
session, but I am glad I did it. I just can't seem to face her again. I can't
seem to open to other people. I don't know. Anyway, I have just been hiding
away in my room for the past weeks. I rarely leave my dorm. Sometimes I hate
myself and sometimes I hate the world for throwing me ino this situation. I
need help! Also, is it too late for me to withdraw from fall 87 semester? I
don't think I could concentrate on finals even if I had to. Please write back
soon. The Diplomat Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 8 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Diplomat,
What happened in your counseling session? Why do you feel you can't face
your therapist again? Is there something she did, or didn't do, that's keeping
you away? Or is it something within you?
My advice depends on why you did not return for another session. If the
therapist did something that blocked you out, ask to see another one. No
therapist is a perfect match for everyone; someone else will be happy to see
you. However, if she is not the barrier, make an appointment to see her again.
It's difficult for most of us to open up to a stranger, therapist or not.
Then, once the gates are open, the flood of emotions can feel overwhelming.
However, as you are learning, hiding away in your room does not help. Tell her
what you're feeling and why. She can help you manage these feelings.
Why should you return to Psychological Services, besides confronting your
feelings? You ask about withdrawing from Fall '87 semester. I do not know
what deadlines your college has, but independent of these it might be possible
to take a medical leave of absence for personal/psychological reasons if a
therapist recommends this to your college. That recommendation would be
contingent upon your talking with a therapist again. I am not suggesting you
SHOULD withdraw - that's something that would require a complete review of your
situation. But it may be possible.
I'm glad you wrote. Reaching out for help is an important step in
recovery. Now I encourage you to take the next step - return to Psychological
Services. Either your original therapist or another one can help. Please keep
me informed. I'll be thinking about you.
Dear Uncle Ezra,
Hello. I have just received your last letter. I am not quite sure why I
am afraid to see my therapist again. Actually, I fear I do know why. I am not
quite sure I want to face all of those emotions and problems which have been
welling up inside me. I suppose I must, however. On your advice, I called her
this afternoon. She was not in, but the receptionist assured me that she would
get the message. I have also done a little bit of work on seeing whether or
not it is feasible for me to withdraw. Res Life says my room contract will be
OK if the University says they will take me back in the Spring. I have every
indication that that will happen. (I had spoken earlier to someone in my
college's student services office, and he said, yes.) Also, I have made an appointment to see an Asssistant Dean on Monday to discuss my plans. Is
this a wise move? I am not quite sure if she is the right one to talk to, but
her office seemed the logical choice. I have thought long and hard about this
semester, and cannot wait until it is behind me. I think I need a
less-pressured environment in order to heal. What do you think? I could really
use a panacea right now because my world is crumbling in ruins around me. Any
advice would be appreciated. The Diplomat.
Dear Diplomat, You are doing the best things. I'm glad you're overcoming your inerita.
Those are the right people to talk with. The only additional advice I would
offer is this:
think about taking a leave of absence for a semester. From
what you say, the extra time would be useful so you can concentrate on and
further resolve these emotional issues before you attempt to tackle Cornell.
Many students have benefitted significantly from a semester or year away. Then
you can start strong and fresh. Please discuss this option with the people in
Psych Services and in your college. Let me know what you decide. Uncle Ezra Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 9 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear UE:
Good news! I was able to get my psyche 101 final post-poned for two days
(see p.25 above), so I no more face the prospect of nine straight hours of
finals. I approached the office with trepadation, as a friend of mine mentiond
that it was probably too late to get it postponed, but the woman in the psyche
office assured me that I could still sign up for postponement. She was quite
nice about it, in fact-There to the idea of Cornell's malicious beauracracy! I
still do not understand why the university scheduled three large courses that
many take concurrently for the same day(Psyche 101,CS 100 and Chem 207). But I
was quite pleased with the ease with which I was able to reschedule.
Thanks mmm
Dear MMM, Thanks for sharing the good news. While Cornell may seem like one large
bureaucracy, your letter illustrates that people here are not totally
inflexible and uncaring. "If you have a good reason, it never hurts to ask.
And if you ask politely, you just might get what you want." I'm glad you got a
break. Good luck on your exams. Uncle Ezra - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Question 10 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Uncle Ezra,
This time I am writing about a general campus situation. You seem to know
exactly where to route inquiries, so I'll give this to you.
Why is it that the Blue Light Special turns back on Jessup Road and does
not swing through A Lot?
Anyone who stays on campus past the end of the AB Local runs must walk
from Jessup Road to their car in the dark of night. Most of the people parking
in A Lot seem to be female employees. I think that the university could afford
a little gasoline in order to get these people as close as possible to their
cars late at night, especially when they have stayed late on University
business.
Puff
Dear Puff, Your suggestion makes a lot of sense to me, and it doesn't seem like it
would cost much to extend the service to the A lot. I spoke with Bill Crissey,
the Manager of CU Transit (255-3782), about your suggestion. He thought it was
a good idea, and promised he will discuss it with the drivers to see if there is enough time on their routes to fit this in. (Their goal is to keep
each route's time to less than 30 minutes, since otherwise people give up and
start walking.)
Meanwhile, Bill suggests that passengers tell the driver "I have to go to
A lot. Could you possibly drive through there?" Bill's understanding is that
drivers will make this detour when time permits.
Thank you for writing. Your welcome suggestion can improve campus safety
for minimal cost. Let's hope CU Transit can make this detour permanent. Uncle Ezra |
