Dear Uncle Ezra - Questions for Tuesday, February 1, 1994

Dear Uncle Ezra -
This is in response to the letter from a student concerned about his transvestitic desires (12/ 2/93 Q01). I am Co-Chair of the LGB Coalition and an open transgendered person. I would like to suggest some options that might be available to this person.
           Many men and women experience transvestitic or transgendered/ transsexual desires. Many act on them, others feel too constrained by social or personal reasons. All of these are valid feelings. It's easy to feel alone, scared, confused, and muddled about one's transvestitic feelings.  I encourage you to seek as many avenues of support that you feel comfortable with.
           There are not many books that deal with t* issues (as they are called).  A good academic book is Marjorie Garber's "Vested Interests" which is a cultural history of transvestitism in Europe and America. A good movie to watch is "Paris is Burning" which is very sympathetic to the t* community in New York City.
           There are many bulletin boards and commercial information services which cater to the t* community. I myself am active on CompuServe's HSX forum which is excellent and has provided me with the greatest sense of community. I understand that there is also quite a community on American Online (AOL).
        The lesbian, bisexual, and gay communities in many areas have been remarkably supportive of t* issues -- the Cornell LGB Coalition (255-6482) included. If you're a person of color, you can also contact Cornell Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals of Color at the same number (255-6482).  And the Cornell group Men Supporting Men is very open to men experiencing transvestitic or transsexual feelings. They meet on Mondays at 8pm in Loft IV of Willard Straight Hall. They will start up again next semester. I can vouch to the safety and level of comfort that this group provides.
        The Ithaca Lesbian, Bisexual, and Gay Task Force (ILGBTF) is considering having a support group for t* people.  You can reach them by writing c/o ILGBTF, Box 283, Ithaca, NY  14851; or by calling 272-2850.
        Don't discount how valuable your friends can be as you investigate tis part of you. They can be incredibly supportive, but only if you take the first step in trusting them. I've found my fellow Cornell students to be extremely supportive in the direction that I've taken -- and often support comes from places you would least expect it to. What's important is that you don't make this journey alone, there are people out there who can help and support and accept you.
        One fear that I think a lot of transvestite and transgender people have is whether or not they can find a lover that will accept them. It's certainly not easy to be open about this with people you might be potentially interested in, yet keeping it a secret is not a good option either. The best advice I might have is to cultivate your entire personality -- make yourself as a whole something someone can love. Most importantly, accept and love who you are, wherever you are coming from. The aphorism that I like to say is: "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."  When you are at a stage to be capable of love, it has a great way of showing up.

                                                            Jiro Nakamura

Dear Uncle Ezra,
What ever happened to the section on CUINFO called Magazine? I think it was a part of the alumni section. It contained some great articles but I have been unable to find it in the system. Any clues????

Surfing the Menus

DEAR UE,
CONCERNING THE "THE STAIGHT IS TOO HOT" TOPIC (1/25/94 Q01)..... OK, IT IS MORE EXPENSIVE TO INSTALL A NEW SYSTEM THAN TO WASTE ENERGY THE WAY IT IS DONE. BUT WHAT ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY OF A PLACE LIKE CORNELL? SHOULDN'T THE UNIVERSITY ACT AS AN EXAMPLE FOR HOW TO SAVE ENERGY INSTEAD OF WASTING OUR RESOURCES.? COME ON, SO MANY BRIGHT PEOPLE, SOME OF THEM ARE WRITING PAPERS ON ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES AND MAKE SUGGESTIONS TO"NORMAL" PEOPLE WHAT TO DO TO SAVE ENERGY, NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF THEIR MONEY BUT BECAUSE OF FUTURE GENERATIONS.
        I KNOW MONEY RULES THE WORLD, AND SO IT RULES CORNELL (TELL ME ABOUT IT, I PAID THE TUITION), BUT SHOULKDN' TE RESPONSIBILITY BE INDEPENDANT FROM THAT?
        I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW YOUR OPINION, NOT ANOTHER STATEMENT OF ENGINEERS WHO ARE (OF COURSE) PAID TO SAVE MONEY AND I GUESS WOULD RISK UNEMPLOYMENT IF SUGGESTING IDEAS LIKE THAT.
        THANKS FOR THE GREAT JOB!

                                                                    A FAN

                                                           (AND ENGINEER)

Dear Engineer Fan,
Thanks for your reflections on an issue worth careful consideration.  The current heating system in the Straight uses more energy than necessary, but upgrading the system represents an enormous one-time energy cost, including mining the metals for the new pipes, burning the gasoline in the trucks and ships that deliver the material, not to mention the installation of the new system.
        Deciding at what point it's worthwhile to make a long-term investment of energy or money isn't straightforward, especially when there are lots of possible targets for such investment and only a finite amount of resources to invest.  I asked Jim Gibbs, Manager of Maintenance Management (255-6630; (Jim_Gibbs@qmrelay.mail.Cornell.edu) to say more about the decision-making process for maintenance projects.  He replies:
        "The trustees are very concerned with the condition of the campus and the growth of deferred maintenance.  Deferred maintenance is the unfunded balance of the activity to offset facility deterioration.  In plain English, that means the maintenance projects which we know about but don't have money for.
        "The existence of deferred maintenance is not uncommon and is not a problem since it takes time to identify, analyze, justify, and plan projects.  Last year Maintenance Management spent $5,198,000 on maintenance projects for the academic endowed campus.  We have identified $80,000,000 worth of projects, and the heating system in Willard Straight is just one.  The problem is obvious, but the solution is not.
        "We are working at increasing funding, but given that the University's resources are finite, some other budget needs to be reduced. So far there have been no volunteers for taking a budget cut. It is very difficult to prioritize a program like Athletics against Maintenance -- there would be no Cornell without either.  We do prioritize maintenance projects in the following manner:
        1.  (Highest)  Life Safety or legal compliance (example:  fuel oil tanks for the emergency generators in compliance with DEC regulations.
        2.  Avoid loss of a significant building system (example:  new roof on Malott Hall).
        3.  Prevent accelerating deterioration (example:  repointing the stone on Myron Talor).
        4.  Maintain building utilization (example: replace heating system in Caldwell).
        5.  Maintenance that can be postponed (catch-all; example: interior painting).
        6.  Correction of building design deficiences (example:  HVAC renovation of CCC).
        7.  Items to be addressed with major renovation (example: replace stairs in Tjaden).
        "There are lots of people funding maintenance work, which is why painting and office renovations are done, but as far as centrally funded maintence, we stick pretty well to highest priority work.  I agree with you, Engineer Fan, money rules:  If a project doesn't have a benefit or payback, we can't fund it.  The heating system in Willard Straight works (it heats); it does waste energy, but not enough to pay the debt service on a new system.  Unless we increase revenue (tuition) or cost recovery (taxes), or reduce expenses (close buildings, lay off staff), I don't know what else to do."
        Thanks, Jim!
        You and Steve Little -- the engineer who wrote the answer about overheated buildings -- are not in such disagreement.  Steve concludes that "the data we use to make decisions on new projects starts with input from the building users."  In addition to raising your concerns here, you can discuss them with the folks in the Employee or Student Assembly (via the Office of the Assemblies, 165 Day Hall; 255-3715) so that your voice is counted in the decision-making process.

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,
First let me introduce myself. I am a wife of a Cornell Grad. student. I moved here to Ithaca right after our marraige 2 years ago. My problem is I cant seem to find any kind of a job. Unlike my husband I am not a college student. After high school I worked  in a nursing home as a nurse's assistant. I dont want to continue this career. I also babysat children in my hometown on a partime basis. I enjoyed this line of work, I got paid a decent amount of money for it and it was a fun way to make money. So I assumed that I could continue this line of work in Ithaca. I dont have many other skills besides taking care of the elderly and children.  When I first came to Ithaca I applied for many babysitting jobs and got turned down. It seems like all the parents are interested in having a college student or graduate. Well i am not one of these, so I get a strike against me before I even have the interview. Right now my husband and I need the extra money. I would love to have a job right about now just about anything would be fine for me . I would love to continue taking care of the elderly (especially those confined to their home) and children. But like I said I dont have many skills besides this I am a high school graduate, but thats about it for the educational part. I also dont have a drivers liscence which makes everything a bit harder. So I guess I have two strikes against me! My question is where do I turn? I need a job. Without skills and a college education in Ithaca who could possibly hire me? Im in desparate need of help and money.

                                                               Sincerely,

                                                      Deparate for a job!

Dear Desperate for a Job,
Welcome to Ithaca!  I'm impressed with the amount of enthusiasm you have even though your job search has been discouraging so far. Here are several helpful resources you can try:
        1)  The staff at the Women's Community Building keep up-to-date notebooks which list job openings in Tompkins County (for men and women). You can stop in and browse through the listings at no charge or make photocopies, for which the WCB requests a 25-cent per page donation.
        The WCB also offers a "Job Support Network" which meets every Tuesday evening from 7:30-9pm and is open to anyone changing jobs or looking for a job.  Topics of the weekly group discussions are based on the needs of participants, so you're welcome to bring up your own hopes and worries.
        The WCB is located at 100 West Seneca Street, at the corner of Seneca and Cayuga Streets downtown, on the City bus route.  You can call the WCB staff at 272-1247 for additional information about the notebooks, the support group, and/or other WCB activities.
        2)  The staff at the Day Care and Child Development Council of Tompkins County (DCCDC) keep listings of child-care jobs in the county, which you can review, and also listings of child-care providers, to which you can add your name.  Call Chris or Lauren at 273-0259 to get basic information over the phone, and then sign up to come to an orientation session which explains the DCCDC's services in detail.  The DCCDC is on the second floor of the two-story building at Clinton Plaza, 609 W. Clinton Street.
        3)  Several local agencies offer home health services for elderly people.  Look under "Home Health Services" in the Yellow Pages for the names, addresses, and phone numbers of these agencies.
        4)  Richard Nelson Bolles' guide to job-hunting, WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE?, gives lots of tips for identifying the many skills you have -- beyond the ones obvious to you -- which you can use in a job. The book also suggests ways you can find people who want to hire you, keep your spirits up, and plan for the future.  It's well worth purchasing or borrowing from a local library.
        The more you expand your confidence in your many skills, the more you'll be able to take the ups and downs of the job search in stride until you find a position that's right for you.  Best of luck!

Uncle Ezra

Dear Uncle Ezra,
Just wanted to add my two cents' worth of recommended reading to the writer (1/27/94 Q05) who was concerned about how to help her friend who has been depressed and unhappy for as long as she's known him.  Either she or her friend might want to read FEELING GOOD: THE NEW MOOD THERAPY by David Burns (available in most local bookstores, although I don't believe the Cornell libraries have a copy). Burns outlines a practical and inexpensive (free, unless you count the cost of the book) program for using cognitive techniques to treat/disarm one's own depression, which might help her friend if he chooses to read or try it.  In addition, some of his insights into and ways of thinking about depression might be helpful to the writer in understanding her friend.  I'd also like to remind her (and other readers -- an estimated 20% of all people are depressed at some point or another in their lives, which means lots of people are out there with depressed friends) of 2 important points:
        1.  If she is there for her friend, is willing to listen to him without giving advice or telling him to cheer up and snap out of it, and remains true to herself, she's doing all anyone can be expected to do.  By "remaining true to herself," I mean that she or anyone else in similar situations should make sure to take care of herself, and continue to do the things that make her feel happy (with or without her friend).  It sounds like this writer is doing a good job of these things, but I have seen people try to take responsibility for another's unhappiness and blame themselves if they aren't successful. Ultimately, no one but the depressed friend can take steps towards feeling happy; friends can be there for support, but not do it for him.  Because no one person can make another happy, someone who keeps trying to do so is likely to become frustrated and resentful, which might make her/him less likely to want to spend time with said depressed friend.  If, on the other hand, she accepts that what she _can_ do as a friend (and this is very important!) is to be there and be a good ler, this makes it easier to deal with the person who is unhappy.
        Point 2. The reader said she used to think that what her friend needed was to fall in love with someone (although she doesn't think that will do the trick now). I've known a lot of unhappy people who believe this about themselves:  that all they need is to meet That Special Someone and their unhappiness will disappear. I cannot say loudly or clearly enough that this is untrue:  _If you are unhappy and become involved in a relationship, you will be an unhappy person in a relationship.  Being in love is _not_ a substitute for finding things in your own life and in yourself to make you feel happy, satisfied, loveable, etc.  If you expect someone else -- even a significant other -- to make you happy and cure your depression, you're putting a pretty impressive burden on them, which often scares or frustrates people, and might make them not want to remain involved.  (Being responsible for someone else's happiness is a pretty heavy load when you're trying to live your own life at the same time.)
        This letter has gotten a lot longer than I wanted it to be, Ezra, so I hope you'll bear with me.  I'm just trying to offer some insights from my own experience -- I've been through a lot of this stuff myself (both the being depressed and the trying to "save" depressed friends), and learned a lot in the process.  Figured some of the pain and struggle was worth it if I could learn something from it and pass some knowledge and ideas along to others out there in CUINFO-land.

                 Love, peace and warmer weather (or at least 2 out of 3),

                                                             The Traveler

Dear UNC:
I read with interest your recent response to an inquiry about red pistachios (1/11/94), and I wanted to add my two cents worth.  I was recently eating a bag of white pistachios and the bag boasted that it contained high-quality pistachios.  It also claimed that other inferior pistachios needed to be dyed red to hide the blemishes (you do mention this in your response).  The blurb on the bag implied that white pistachios were of higher quality than red, although I am not sure that is universally true.  Incidentally, I have noticed that it is very hard to find red pistachios here in California, indicating that California consumers have in fact embraced the notion of white pistachios.
        One more thing: there must have been a bumper crop of pistachios here in California this year because they have been plentiful and cheap (the price bottomed out at $1.89 a pound before Thanksgiving at the local supermarket).  Unfortunately, pistachios are pretty high in fat (even as nuts go), so they should probably be eaten in moderation despite their current abundance.
        Keep up the good work.

                                                Michael (CU class of '91)

                                       University of California, Berkeley

Dear Uncle Esra:
Last Thursday, 1/27/94, you responded to a student's query on how to get involved in several volunteer groups (Red Carpet and the Cornell Ambassadors) and gave a referral which might not be helpful. Please be advised that the most direct contact for the Red Carpet Society (prospective student overnight hosting society) would be Brian Lynch, Advisor, and Assistant Director of Admissions, 410 Thurston Ave, 255-3447. Likewise, a student interested in the Cornell Ambassadors should contact Holly Winters, Advisor, and Assistant Director of  Class Programs, Alumni House, 626 Thurston Ave.
        If it is possible to relay this info to the student posing the question that would be great-I'll also look into having a pointer for my group (Red Carpet) installed in your subsection for volunteer groups.
        Thanks!

                                                              Brian Lynch

Dear Uncle Ezra,
I am a new graduate student here and I am wondering why the only federal holiday that students receive is Thanksgiving.  Last fall I noticed that employees were gone on Labor Day, but school was still in session.  The long winter break is great for undergraduates who don't have projects to work on...but a few three-day weekends generally are good for stress relief. I was also surprised that employees didn't even have MLK day off I thought that only Arizona tried to ignore this new holiday.
        The California schools I know all have MLK and Presidents days off as well as Labor Day for both students and staff. Is it that there is nothing better to do in Ithaca besides going to work and school?...I don't think so!
        Thanks,

                                                           Gimme A. Break

Dear Gimme A. Break,
After a great weekend of skating and sledding, I can vouch for the fact that Ithaca offers far more than just work and school.  And, as you note, we even get time off to enjoy the recreational and cultural benefits of the area...it's just that the days off aren't distributed into those three-day weekends which can be so refreshing.
        I asked David Yeh, Assistant Vice President for Academic Programs and Campus Affairs (311 Day Hall; 255-8728; dsy1@Cornell.edu) to explain Cornell's calendar system.  He replies:
        "The university operates with several different calendars:
         a)  The REAL calendar (i.e., January through December)
         b)  A fiscal calendar (July through June);
         c)  A New York State calendar (April through March);
         d)  The academic calendar (typically, when classes begin and end and when commencement takes place).  This calendar is the domain of the faculty, not the university administration.  Whereas employee holidays are in the domain of the university administration and are not always linked with federal or state holidays.
        "Federal and state holidays have no bearing on whether or not a) classes are in session or b) faculty or staff work.  For example, Labor Day is an official university holiday as well as a federal holiday. Classes are in session.  Martin Luther King Day is a federal holiday, as are Lincoln's and Washington's birthdays.  The university does not recognize those as official days off, and classes are held on them.
        "The bottom line is that there is no relationship between federal, state, and university holiday and times off for faculty and staff or the academic calendar.  It is at best inconsistent.  In many ways, when there is work to be done, it is done, regardless of holidays (for example, many employees actually must work during the Winter Holiday in order to have students' grades processed and grade reports out in time for the following semester."
        I then asked Judy Bower, Executive Staff Assistant to the Dean of Faculty (315 Day Hall; 255-4843; jab14@Cornell.edu), about the rationale behind the lack of three-day weekends for students during the semester.  She says that if we had all the Federal holidays off, there wouldn't be enough time to fit in classes, so we wouldn't conform to the number of weeks in a term of instruction as mandated by New York State Education Department regulations.  It may be that your friends in California go to schools which conform to different regulations, or perhaps they have a shorter winter break or in other ways borrow class days from time we have off.
        Thanks, David and Judy!  Even though the calendar is already decided, you can plan ahead for breathers.  Map out the flow of your tests and papers to whatever extent possible and look for slower spells when it's possible to make a mini-getaway to whatever or whoever you find relaxing and revivifying.  Maybe you'll even get a chance to discover some of the richness of Ithaca that's so often obscured by school and other work!

Uncle Ezra

DUE-
Are there any films in which Cornell University or even Ithaca appear? If so, which ones, and (if it's not too difficult to find out) exactly what parts of campus were filmed? Thanks..

-Movie Buff

Dear Movie Buff,
The staff at Cornell Cinema (255-3522) made the search easy by faxing me an article titled "Cornell and the Movies" (from the November 1992 CORNELL ALUMNI NEWS) which quizzes folks like you on your cinematic memory.  Which movies include the following?
        1)  "There's Henry Drucker.  He has a chair in history at Princeton. Oh, and the short man with him is Herschel Kominsky.  He has a chair in philosophy at Cornell."
        "Yeah?  Two more chairs and they've got a dining room set."
        2)  "Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Switzerland -- he was thrown out of a lot of them."
        3)  An over-achieving high school student tells a rival:  "I know we were ultra competitive this year, but I just want to say that if it wasn't for Diane Court, I probably wouldn't have gotten into Cornell because you made me study twice as hard.  So thanks."
        4)  John Crusack, playing a lovesick first-year student, sprints across a snow-covered Arts Quad.
        5)  A Catskills resort owner boasts:  "My grandson Neil goes to the Cornell School of Hotel Management."
        6)  "No, not at Woodstock.  The picture was taken right outside of Cornell College [sic] in Ithaca, New York.  That's where Linda and I went to school.  But it's all different now."
        7)  A ne'er-do-well is watching GE's College Bowl:  "What would a man probably have if he had a visible contusion near the upper part of his zygomatic arch?  Cornell?"
        "A bump on the head?"
        "A black eye, bozo.  Hey, Cornell, take a walk, you bozo."
        8)  "This Birnham fellow...went to Cornell, didn't he?  But he never graduated.  I wonder why."
        9)  "I had to fight with my parents to go to Cornell.  They both went to Harvard and think Cornell is slumming it."
        10)  "Francis LaPierre isn't a woman.  He's the captain of the Cornell Hockey team."
        11)  A top-secret federal project needs to be relocated, somewhere quiet away from prying eyes.  Next stop:  Cornell.
        12)  "How did a little kid who saw visions of Christ turn into a physiologist teaching at Cornell Medical College?"
        "I stopped believing."
        13)  A small-time gambler, played by Charlton Heston, is implicated in two murders.  During questioning by a police captain, Heston reveals he was an undergraduate at Cornell from 1937 to 1941.
        Did any sound familiar?  The movies are:  1)  ANNIE HALL (1977); 2)  CITIZEN KANE (1939); 3) SAY ANYTHING (1989); 4) THE SURE THING (1985); 5) DIRTY DANCING (1987); 6) IMMEDIATE FAMILY (1990); 7) DINER (1982); 8) THE LOST WEEKEND (1945); 9) STELLA (1990); 10) LOVE STORY (1970); 11) THE MANHATTAN PROJECT (1986); 12) ALTERED STATES (1980); and, 13) DARK CITY (1950).

Uncle Ezra