Dear L.T.,
Indeed, the Joseph Newton Pew Jr. you heard about in Texas is the same Cornell alum the Engineering Quad memorializes.  Linda Grace-Kobas, Director of the Cornell News Service (255-4206; lg16@Cornell.edu) found the following information on him in the news service files:
        "The Engineering Quad was dedicated on August 20, 1979, to the memory of Joseph Newton Pew Jr., a 1908 graduate of Cornell who was chairman and director of the Sun Oil Company from 1947 until his death in 1963.  He was regarded as the dean of CEO's of American petroleum companies.  Joseph N. Pew Jr. was born in Pittsburgh in 1886, the year his father founded the Sun Oil Company.  He started his career at Sun Oil as a tool dresser on cable tool drilling rigs during summer vacations from Cornell, and joined the company full-time in 1908 after receiving his degree in mechanical engineering.  He became a vice president in 1912, and held that title for 35 years.  During his lifetime, the company grew from a small firm in Ohio hauling crude oil in mule-drawn wagons to one of the country's largest oil companies with international operations.  The Pew family has been very generous to Cornell, having contributed more than $7 million."
        Thanks, Linda!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Knocking on Wood,
You're on the right track with your guesses about the whereabouts of other facilities.  The Department of Design and Environmental Analysis in Human Ecology (255-2168) has a shop, but it's only for use by students in the department under strict supervision by a professor.  The shop in Rand is a better bet:  You can use it if you're taking courses within the Architecture Department, even if you aren't part of the College of Architecture, Art, and Planning. Consider whether an architecture course would augment your mechanical engineering training as well as give you access to the shop, and if the answer is "yes", you can call shop supervisor Brian Beeners (255-1527) for more information.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Future Grad Student,
The first accident I ever had in Ithaca (a mere fender bender, fortunately) was at the top of Buffalo Street in a stick shift car, starting to roll backwards...so I sympathize with the fear that That Hill inspires!  Thank goodness, you won't be put to such a severe test, nor any test other than what you've already passed in Pennsylvania.  All you have to do, according to the folks at the Tompkins County Motor Vehicles Department, is bring in your Pennsylvania driver's license plus one other form of ID (a credit card, a check-cashing card, your birth certificate, etc.) and roughly $35 (fees are subject to change) to the Motor Vehicles Department's 310 Third Street offices (273-7187).  Then only a photo -- which the staff will retake if you don't like the first shot! -- stands between you and your license.  Never fear, you'll soon be equipped to drive in New York...and THEN you can tackle Buffalo Street!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Really Sorry,
It's not your fault that the dog ran into the road, and I'm sure you would have done anything within your power to avoid hitting him. Under the circumstances, the choice was one with which no one would want to be faced:  to hit the dog or head into oncoming traffic where you might have injured or killed other people and yourself.  You made the best decision you could in a split second's time, and now you're left with the inevitable sadness and remorse that comes from being a warmhearted person who would never hurt an animal on purpose.
        Following such an accident, you can call the police and/or the SPCA staff (as you may have done), who can try to locate the owners and either search for the injured animal or, if he died, take care of his body.  Beyond that, you can let your grief flow:  It's a natural reaction that reflects your sympathetic nature.  Sometimes it also helps to express your regrets to the owners, if you find out their names:  There's some consolation in their knowing how the accident happened and that you care deeply.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Trying to Understand,
Given that you're a loving friend who has supported people through all kinds of sadness and pain, it's perplexing to come upon a situation you don't want to face.  You've already come a long way in trying to understand what's going on -- for instance, you've found out that death itself doesn't necessarily make you shy away.  You're seeing how the nuances of a particular death can bring up feelings you didn't even know you had about the difficult truth that everything changes.
        You seem to already have some skill at uncovering questions that lead you to insights you need.  If you haven't already tried, a good way to generate questions is to imagine yourself talking to your friend:  What feelings do you think will come up?  What blocks you from letting these feelings happen?  How would words you use to console your friend illuminate or disguise these feelings?
        Your thoughts about your father seem like an important thread: What would it be like for you to lose him?  Is there any unfinished business that you wish you could take care of first:  things you need to talk with him about, unresolved feelings, or ways of integrating into yourself what he means to you?  Perhaps you can even talk with him about how distraught you feel in the face of your friend's loss, so that you don't have to feel fearful or lonely in a vacuum.
        Since your friends are your life, I imagine they already know that you don't hold back your feelings for any malicious reasons. Honesty can be a wonderful bridge across a communication gap:  You can write or call your friend and say you've never gone through a death that felt so painful to you, which gives you a glimpse of what he must be going through.  Quite possibly, the key to understanding the heart of the matter will be given to you when you overcome your reservations enough to get in touch with him again.  That encounter is likely to release deep feelings in both of you.  In the face of death, there's not anything more important we can ask for:  to know how much and how unshakably we love, even in the face of the ultimate physical separation.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear All Cracked Up,
Snapping your ligaments and tendons isn't as terrible as it's cracked up to be (see Q04 in the 7/2/96 "Dear Uncle Ezra" posting)
EXCEPT when you experience pain, as you have lately.  At that point, it's important to check in with your doctor and find out what s/he recommends.
        Your doctor may have suggestions about breaking the habit as well as about possible ways to deal with the pain.  If not, or if you want additional ideas, I recommend HABIT BREAKTHROUGH, a book which examines what to do if you've tried everything and still can't give up a habit.  The author, a local therapist named Mitch Bobrow, gives workshops and is available for private counseling; if either interests you, you can call him at 277-0438.
        You can also look into ways to relax, which will help reduce the pain as well as make it easier to switch over to different ways of relating to your body.  Physical therapy, massage, yoga, and calming imagery exercises are all possibilities:  Again, I suggest you consult your doctor or a therapist about what will work best for you.  Asking for help, as you do here, is a far more effective strategy than worrying!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Still Knocking,
Thanks for the additional lead about Risley!  I spoke with Michael Moon from Risley about your situation; he says that for a one-time project he doesn't think it will be any problem for you to use the shop.  Michael invites you to call him at 253-0657, and he'll put you in touch with Mack, the person who runs the shop.

Uncle Ezra