Dear R,
I checked with the folks in the International Students and Scholars Office (ISSO; B50 Caldwell Hall; 255-5243) -- who often get questions of this nature -- and they recommend reading the April 1996 issue of CONSUMER REPORTS magazine.  It objectively rates used and new automobiles and also has two lists, one of used cars to avoid and another of best bets in used cars, organized by price.
        This issue also has an excellent article about what to do to lessen the chance that your car will be a lemon.  If you follow their advice, you'll have done about all that is possible to get a good deal.
        Insurance is another matter.  It's best for you to call a large national insurance company like All State or Nationwide (they're listed in the phone book Yellow Pages under "Insurance") and ask to speak with an agent.  Many factors play a role in the amount of cost of insurance:  age, gender, driving record, car type, requested coverage, and state that issued the driver's license.  It is not uncommon to pay more for the insurance than for the car.
        Happy motoring!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Pissed and Headachy,
I forwarded your letter to Andy Garcia-Rivera, Cornell's Director of Environmental Health and Safety (aeg2@Cornell.edu; 255-4125), who replies:  "Thank you for bringing your concerns to my attention.  The issue you raise is important.  You are not alone out there.  As a result, Cornell's smoking policy is being reviewed this month by the Department of Environmental Health and Safety.  The review goal is to address and find a solution to the issue you raise and others of a similar nature.
        "In the interim, I will contact the library building coordinators and ask them to review the situation and take steps to reduce the access problem you describe."
        Thanks, Andy!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Shy,
In an ideal world, physical appearance wouldn't have any influence on people's acceptance of each other.  But your experience at the dance reflects our human difficulty accepting differences. Even caring, open-minded people are sometimes initially surprised or shocked when they see someone who doesn't look the way they expect, and some people have have a hard time altogether getting past physical appearances.
        The reaction of the people at the dance probably stems from their unfamiliarity and insensitivity to the fact that some people have auxillary nipples, which are part of humans' evolutionary line of development.  But regardless of it being THEIR problem that they laughed, it's nonetheless extremely embarrassing and humiliating to feel that you're being shunned for not fitting the mold people expect.  I can understand why you'd feel painfully shy after that.
        One possible source of help is the writings of people who share your feeling that society as a whole has difficulty accepting them. I'm not sure if you're a man or a woman, but I'd like to recommend two books:  1)  WITH WINGS:  AN ANTHOLOGY OF LITERATURE BY AND ABOUT WOMEN WITH DISABILITIES; and, 2)  NO PITY:  PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES FORGING A NEW CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT, by Joseph Shapiro.  Joan Fisher, in the Office of Equal Opportunity (234 Day Hall; 255-3976; JBF1@Cornell.edu) has copies of both which she is willing to lend to you.
        Several letters in the "Dear Uncle Ezra" archives -- such as Q02
in the 12/12/91 posting, Q18 in the 8/31/93 posting, and Q05 in the 11/16/93 posting -- discuss shyness; they're worth browsing through. One theme which comes up over and over again is that shyness has assets as well as drawbacks.  Your experiences have deepened your ability to see beyond surface appearances and have no doubt made you more thoughtful about what really matters in life.  While it's easy to understand why you fear being rejected again, you should know that some of the most wonderful people in the world would be delighted to meet a friend or lover with your kind of depth and maturity.
        It's also possible that you're not stuck with being physically different.  If you'd like to change your appearance as well as your shyness, I suggest you see a plastic surgeon.  It certainly sounds like this is something which would benefit from surgery.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear On the Other Side,
Thanks for the great tips...courtship is an apt image for seeking friends in a place a large, busy, and diverse as Cornell!  By the way, you'll be happy to hear that Dan Huttenlocher DOES still teach CS212; you can visit his Web page at to read about his classes and other activities.  I passed your letter along to him so that he'll know he's got a fan out there in the alum world.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear High Marks,
It sounds like you do not have Bear Access installed on your home computer, which would enable you to go directly to "Just the Facts", where your grades are listed.  However, if you have another online service, you can access "Just the Facts" using this telnet address: jtf.cit.cornell.edu, port 1240.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Trying Not to Procrastinate,
Wow, you're right on top of things!  The reading assignments for the first three units of Bio G 106 are:

Unit 1:  Chapter 5 (pp. 121-123; Fig. 5.4, p. 123)

                   Chapter 8

                   Chapter 12

Unit 2:         Chapter 9

Unit 3:         Chapters 10 and 11


        Enjoy reading at a more relaxed pace, knowing that your semester will be a little easier as the result of getting a head start!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Colonel Kernel,
Not only does it get awfully quiet around here in early January (especially by comparison to the pre-holiday flurry of events!), there's not even any corn on the cob to be munched!  But if you look on the Web at , you'll find a smattering of events during this lull.  For instance, the Johnson Museum of Art (Tuesday through Sunday, 10am-5pm) has interesting exhibits, some carried over from December with new ones arriving January 11 and 12.  You can catch some sports events on campus -- women's basketball, men's hockey, and women's hockey -- listed in .  Additionally, it's a great time to explore off-campus.  For instance, have you been to the Dewitt Historical Society Museum (401 East State Street; 273-8284), the Sciencenter (601 First Street -- off Route 13 just north of Purity Ice Cream -- 272-0600), or Ithaca College (worth a stroll even if it's quiet right now, too)?  All are easily accessible by foot or bus.
        You can get more ideas by visiting or calling the Tompkins County Chamber of Commerce (904 East Shore Drive -- near Stewart Park -- 273-7080).  Finally, enjoy those moments of being a monk...it won't be long before you're deluged again!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Trying to Decide,
No matter how long and hard I thought, I wouldn't be able to make decisions on your behalf...only you can do that!  But there are several people on campus who can help you think about where you can build job skills this summer, based on your particular interests and talents:
        1)  The staff at the University Career Center (103 Barnes Hall; 255-5221);
        2)  The staff at your own college's career center, listed in the campus phone directory under "Career Services"; and,
        3)  The folks in Student Employment (203 Day Hall; 255-9051).
        If you feel completely awash about what your areas of interest are, I recommend that you buy or borrow a copy of Richard Nelson Bolles' WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE?:  A PRACTICAL MANUAL FOR JOB-HUNTERS AND CAREER-CHANGERS.  His book includes a "Quick Job-Hunting Map" that helps you identify the physical setting in which you like to work, your preferred spiritual or emotional setting, the kinds of skills you like to use, the kinds of people you like to use these skills with, the salary you need, what kind of outcome you desire, and what kind of information you like to use on the job.  Even if you don't have much work experience at all, you can use various meaningful tasks you've completed in your life (Bolles gives the example of designing a Halloween costume) as fuel for discovering what skills are important to you.
        As you decide where to head, keep in mind that everything you do and every way you are matters.  Consider how you can embody, over the course of your life, George Bernard Shaw's words:  "This is the true joy in life -- being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Trying to Cut the Big Red Tape,
It's hard to wait for grades even when they come out quickly, and three weeks is a long time.  I asked the folks in the University Registrar's Office for their speculations about what causes the delay.  They note that between the December 20th end of exams and your January 4th letter, there were only four business days (12/23, half of 12/24, 1/2, and 1/3) because of the university holiday.  As of January 4, the grades were ready in Just the Facts, although students are usually told they'll be available a couple of days later than that, in case of unforeseen problems.
        Also, it takes longer to grade some tests than others.  Psych 101 has more than 2,000 students to grade.  Even if grades have been submitted for most of the classes offered, the Registrar's staff still make an effort to have ALL the grades included for the sake of students taking these harder-to-grade classes.
        By the way, the computerized phone system is simply a different form of Just the Facts.  Both the phone and the computer interfaces must still get their data from a main student information system.
        As my contacts in the Registrar's Office understand it, state schools usually have a tighter budget to stick to, so they eliminate or shorten the study period before exams.  That gives professors time to finish grading before the holidays.
        I don't have an explanation for why you only got one of your postcards back.  Perhaps they got lost in the holiday mail onslaught, or perhaps there's something to the expression "absent-minded professor"...  I'm sure profs had plenty on their minds during the holidays, as we all did!
        You can, of course, mention to your delinquent professors that you didn't get the cards; perhaps they'll offer an explanation.  Or you can take a completely different tack and remember that getting your grades a week or two sooner only has a relative importance.  Han Suyin, in AND THE RAIN MY DRINK, has a lovely passage about time in Malaya:  "Everything takes a long, a very long time in Malaya.  Things get done, occasionally, but more often they don't, and the more in a hurry you are, the quicker you break down."  In a place as hurried as Cornell, a little more of that attitude couldn't hurt!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Big Red Fan,
I'm delighted to hear that you've been having a great time here! It's only natural that people write when they're discouraged and needing help, yet your letter serves as a refreshing reminder that college can be a fun, stimulating, happy, healing experience, worthy of missing once it's over.

Uncle Ezra