Dear Concerned Parent,
A warm welcome to you and your son or daughter due to arrive on
campus this fall!  I'm glad to hear you got a chance to visit, giving you not only a chance to familiarize yourself with Cornell but also to generate relevant questions.
        Cornell does not have a university-wide policy about "grade curving"; rather, each professor is free to use his or her own method of assigning grades (for more information, see Q07 in the 11/21/95 "Dear Uncle Ezra" posting).  I shared your concerns with Dean of
Faculty Peter Stein (pcs1@Cornell.edu; 607/255-4843), who says that in his experience, using a grade curve usually leads to higher grades for students, not lower ones.  It's his belief that Cornell has participated in the so-called "grade inflation" less than other institutions, and he thinks that students have mischaracterized this to be the result of a mandatory grade curving that lowers grades.
        Many students come to Cornell worried about competitiveness and grades.  It's nice to have the opportunity right from the start to mention that Cornell has outstanding academic-support services, ranging from study-skill workshops to tutoring to course and career advising.  Check out the resources mentioned on the Ezra Pointer to Academic Services on the main "Dear Uncle Ezra" menu,
and please encourage your new Cornellian to use them if s/he encounters any difficulties while getting started here (or any time, for that matter!).

Uncle Ezra   

Dear J,
I understand your concern about revealing past sexual relationships with your current partner.  Homophobia is very real, and it could mean that your girlfriend will be unable to deal with your attraction to both men and women.
        Bisexuality is viewed with skepticism by some people in both gay and straight communities.  These folks believe that bisexuality is merely a "phase" that people pass through before they ultimately identify as gay or lesbian.  However, bisexuals are very vocal about the genuineness of their sexual identity, and many people live their entire lives loving both men and women.  DUAL ATTRACTION: UNDERSTANDING BISEXUALITY by Weinberg, Williams, and Pryor, and BI ANY OTHER NAME by Hutchins and Kaahumanu are books in the Cornell library system which may help you explore this issue.
        On the other hand, all of us have a responsibility to share our sexual histories with our partners since we live with the fear of sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS.  Perhaps you can introduce the topic to your girlfriend by saying that you feel it is important to know each other's past sexual practices so that each of you can make a fully-informed decision before you sleep together.  While this may be scary, it could open new doors of trust and communication in your relationship.  It is possible that she will not want to see you any longer, but maybe it's best to find out how tolerant she is early in your relationship.  Offer this information to her gently and let her know that you are concerned that this will drive her away.  Offer to answer any questions she has.  If you can strip away some of the myths and stereotypes of bisexuality by sharing your personal story, she just might be able to accept you as you are!
        You can always see my trusty colleague in Health Education, Roz Kenworthy, about how to talk with your girlfriend about your sexual history.  Roz can be reached in 612 Gannett or by calling 255-3978 to arrange an appointment.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Informative,
Thanks for mentioning this option.  After all requests are filled for residential students, others can get parking spaces in residential lots if there's still room.  I asked Judy Eckard, Assistant Director for Administrative Services in the Transportation Department, to elaborate; she explains:  "For example, the SW lot on the corner of Stewart and Williams Streets is primarily for Cascadilla and Sheldon Court residents.  In the fall, probably late September, we accept requests from students who live in the Collegetown area for that lot. It is ususally based on need and on a first-come, first-served basis. Another example:  the CC lot (signed ND and R) next to Robert Purcell Community Center is sold to commuting students on request.  This lot traditionally has space.
        "Special Request forms are available at the Transportation Office at 116 Maple Ave.  Special request are rarely accepted in the pre-registration process (students who currently have permits are given the opportunity to select their permit for next fall).  Our customer service staff can ususally answer questions about the special request process:  Call 255-4600."
        Thanks, Judy!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Looking to Celebrate
Fireworks unimportant?  Let's get our priorities straight here! You should be out celebrating on the Fourth of July, and the day to do it in Ithaca is July Second (well, yes, you may want to celebrate here AND at home!).  Ithaca College will have a wonderful display of fireworks that night, which you can view on the premises (protect your eardrums and be prepared for traffic delays) or from anywhere in Ithaca from which the Twin Towers are visible.   Keep your eyes peeled for more specific information about timing in local papers as the date approaches.
        On the Fourth itself, the Ithaca Yacht Club on the West Shore of Cayuga Lake will set off fireworks, and although the site is not open to the public, you're welcome to view them from a boat or from the east shore.  Traditionally, people have also gathered at Stewart Park around sunset on the Fourth to celebrate with sparklers and flares, an event open to anyone and everyone.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Trying to Do the Right Thing,
You're bearing the brunt of some big responsibilities right now, and your instinct to consult with someone is right on track.  The tax issues in your letter are relatively straightforward, according to my accountant contact, but the financial aid and Medicaid aspects of the problem make your questions difficult to answer by e-mail.  You should make an appointment to sit down and talk with your sister's financial aid counselor, your health-insurance provider, and/or an accountant (listed under "Accountants - Certified Public" in the Yellow Pages), who can delve into specific details with you.  They can also suggest alternative solutions to your financial crunch if claiming your mother as a dependent does not work out.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Trepidated,
There's no one answer to how much time it takes to be ready for sex in a relationship.  I would suggest, in view of your preoccupation with STDs, that you consider the following:
        1. Do you know each other well enough to trust the other's judgment about the risks each may have had in the past?
        2. Do you know when your partner had what specific risks, and how long after the last risks he had STD tests?
        3. Have you both considered the fact that many STDs are without symptoms until years after acquiring the organism, and can do serious damage?  There is no protection that always works.  Condoms, used correctly during any and all genital contact, are usually effective and can be supplemented with vaginal spermicides in case the condoms break or come off or leak, but they can't prevent skin-to-skin transmission of herpes and HPV (Human papillomavirus).  The folks at CGSS (Contraception, Gynecology, and Sexuality Services; Level Six Gannett; 255-3978) can test effectively for most diseases, but herpes and HPV are often without early symptoms, and there are no reliable tests for asymptomatic herpes and HPV infections.  They rarely cause serious physical problems, but many people get very upset if symptoms appear at some later time.
        4. If you are female, do you get regular annual exams and pap smears?
        5. Do you feel comfortable talking together about these sensitive questions?
        6. Do you know where to go for more information?  Consider an appointment with Roz Kenworthy, the sex counselor at Gannett on Level 6 (call 255-3978), speak with one of the nurses at Gannett (which you can do anonymously, if desired, by calling 255-1991), call Planned Parenthood (273-1513), and/or stop by Gannett to pick up printed pamphlets.  Take a look at the American Social Health Association's web site (http://sunsite.unc.edu/ASHA).  Keep asking!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Open-minded,
You're struggling with a very difficult issue in a society that has a history of racism and a fear of intimate relationships between people of different races.  Most of us have learned our racism and fear well.  When you react to the picture of you and your loved one as something that isn't right, you're only demonstrating that you have learned this prejudice.  If you learned it, you can un-learn it.
        While there weren't any support groups on interracial relationships offered this spring, you can request such a group from Counseling and Psychological Services by contacting Director Phil Meilman at 255-5208 or pwm7@cornell.edu.  CAPS tries to offer support groups on any topic for which enough students show interest.  You can also arrange an appointment with Naomi Brown, a therapist on the CAPS staff, who specializes in interracial relationships.  Naomi can be reached at the main CAPS number as well, 255-5208.
        An excellent book which might help you is INCREASING MULTICULTURAL UNDERSTANDING by Locke.  Next fall, check in with the International Living Center on North Campus:  This program house often presents programs on interracial understanding and relationships. Contact the ILC's Residence Hall Director, Martine Hall, at 255-5299.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Happy and Sad,
Isn't yearning a powerful feeling?  Short of planning a couple of face-to-face visits every so often for the next twelve weeks, it looks like you will have to make do with pictures, phone calls, and good old-fashioned letters.  A handwritten letter or card is so much more expressive than e-mail, don't you think?  You can write poetry or odes to your loved one's beautiful eyes.  You can rhapsodize about the thrill of his touch and the longing you feel for his embrace.  You can draw pictures of things you're seeing and doing.  You can exchange photographs of each other in various places and poses.
        And while you await the day when you will again see your boyfriend in the flesh, cultivate some of your other interests and friendships so you can offer him a well-rounded and fulfilled partner when you resume your eye-gazing and physical contact.
        Happy Summer!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Ready to Ride,
Thanks for catching the oversight!  I wrote to ask if the Boston-Ithaca mailing list is still operational.  The handful of replies included one from Eric Scheirer '93, who says the listserv is still active, so that messages go out on it.  "However" writes Eric, "there is no real traffic on it right now -- there probably hasn't been a request or enquiry in more than a year."  Eric will be glad to add people to the list; if you're interested, please let him know by sending him e-mail (eds@media.mit.edu).
        Thanks, Eric!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Well Wisher,
According to ORIGINS:  A SHORT ETYMOLOGICAL DICTIONARY OF MODERN ENGLISH by Eric Partridge, Godspeed is a contraction of "God Speed You" meaning "God prosper you".  The OED describes it thus:  "1. to bid (wish) one God-speed, to utter the words 'God Speed (you)', especially to express a wish for the success of one who is setting out on some journey or enterprise."  In this sense, the word "speed" is derived from Old English and Late Middle English and means success, prosperity, profit, fortune, or lot.  Apparently folks on the news were wishing Frank Sinatra well in his passage from life to death.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Graduating Brocolli Man,
Brocolli crowns are considered more interesting, attractive, or elegant by many people, and they're also more tender than the stems (though I've heard that peeling the tough woody layer on the outside of the stalks makes them more palatable).  Nutritionist Myra Berkowitz, in Health Education at Gannett, thinks it's also possible that the dark green florets have more vitamins/minerals -- such as folate and carotenoids -- than the stems.
        Cornell's graduation ceremony will be broadcast live on Ithaca cable television station Channel 54 beginning at 10am and on Ithaca radio station WHCU (870 AM) beginning at 11am, according to News Service Director Linda Grace-Kobas.  The ceremony will be shown on closed-circuit television in Statler Auditorium, the David L. Call Alumni Auditorium in Kennedy Hall, Martha Van Rensselaer Auditorium, and the Field House.
        Thanks, Myra and Linda!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Seth,
Cornell is doing far more than just patching up year 2000 glitches:  The extensive efforts of Cornell's Project 2000 will completely replace several administrative systems.  The money and staff time poured into this wide-ranging project should ultimately reduce administrative costs and save money.  For more information, please see the CORNELL CHRONICLE article on the Year 2000 Problem at and the Project 2000 web page (directed to staff and faculty, but informative for students as well) at .

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Ivy Leaguer,
Harvard, Yale, Columbia, and Princeton joined together as an inter-scholastic athletic league in the late 1800s, and were officially known as the "Four League" or, in roman-numeral designation, the "IV League".  The League kept this "IV" or "Ivy" name even when their major opponents -- Cornell, Brown, Dartmouth, and Pennsylvania -- were added to the group.
        Browse through the Uncle Ezra archives for more information about the Ivy League.  Q12 in the 2/12/98 "Dear Uncle Ezra" posting mentions
some websites at other schools which can help you form your own opinion about "how elite" the Ivy League schools are.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Networking,
That sounds like a perfect audience for a dialog service akin to "Dear Uncle Ezra"!  I recommend that you speak with the people who
created this column:  Steve Worona (255-8308; SLW1@Cornell.edu) -- who still does Unc's behind-the-scenes technological wizardry -- and Jerry Feist (JF19@Cornell.edu; 387-3625), the original Uncle Ezra.  They should be able to tell you everything you need to know to get started.  I'd love to hear what becomes of your project, so keep in touch!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Curious,
I shared your question with Lieutenant Colonel John Keefe in the Military Science Department (jmk46@Cornell.edu), who found the following information for you:  "The last Cornelian to die from hostilities in Southeast Asia (Vietnam) was Patrick Arthur Deck Class of 1962.  He was shot down on September 18, 1965 and remained in a coma for eleven years despite never being on any life support systems and died on February 2, 1977.
        "There was also Joseph Gambino Jr. Class of 1969 who was killed after the cease fire agreement on a reconnaissance mission over Cambodia on January 27, 1973.
        "Robert Bruce Hart Class of 1984 was killed in the Gandor Newfoundland crash on December 12, 1985 when he was returning from peace-keeping duty in the Sinai.  Although not killed in direct combat he was killed returning from a combat mission.
        "This information comes from the Roll of Honor Biographical Summaries from the dedication of the Korean/Vietnam War Memorial on June 11, 1993.  The booklet lists those Cornellians killed in action in Korea, Vietnam, and other hostilities since World War II."
        Thanks for your help, Lieutenant Colonel Keefe!

Uncle Ezra