Dear Veteran,
The Veterans' Affairs web page at www.va.gov describes post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as "an anxiety disorder commonly diagnosed in individuals exposed to extraordinary stress or trauma, such as that associated with military combat.  Symptoms include agitation, disturbed sleep, and mood swings."  There are several ways you can seek information about how agent white and arsenic pertain to this disorder:
        1)  Contact the New York State Division of Veterans Affairs at (607) 272-1084;
        2)  If you are a Gulf War Veteran, you can call the VA Persian Gulf Information Helpline toll free at 1-800-PGW-VETS (1-800-749-8387);
        3)  Browse through the web pages of the National Center for PTSD (www.ncptsd.org/); and/or,
        4)  Write directly to the staff at the National Center for PTSD (ptsd@dartmouth.edu).
        I sincerely hope this helps.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Concerned Grandparent,
An excellent source for you as you navigate this new path is John C. Stephens, Director of the Ithaca College Speech and Hearing Clinic (607-274-3229).  He suggested you might like to contact him via phone or email (jstephens@ithaca.edu) as you learn more, and have more specific questions.
        It's hard to know at this point what your grandchild will face. She has a hidden disorder that other children and casual adult acquaintances will probably notice, and yet are not likely to detect for a hearing loss.  They are unlikely to understand that the hearing-impaired child's responses are due to her auditory abilities.
They may think instead, for example, that she isn't listening on purpose.
        John pointed out that the next crucial question is the overall degree of hearing loss.  We live in an aural society, and every effort must be made to help a hearing-impaired child learn to use and respond to spoken language.
        The deaf community asserts that even non-hearing children and adults are as able, intelligent, and high-functioning as hearing people. However, since there is a barrier in communicating with the non-deaf world, compensation is always necessary.
        There are lots of options for you to consider, for her schooling, and for medical treatment.  Good luck on the road ahead, and make all the use you need of John's expertise and generosity.  As he told me, "That's what I'm here for!"

Uncle Ezra   

Dear You,
There's plenty of room for individuality in this matter as in anything else, but I'd say that the biggest reason depressed people push away those whom they love is in order not to get hurt or inflict hurt. Depression is characterized by extreme vulnerability and usually by low self-esteem, making it easy to fear that no one cares about you, at least not about your dark side.  It's terribly scary to discover whether or not people really do....because if your loved ones turn away from you when you're depressed, you've lost one of your last shreds of hope.  It's easier to steer clear of them, so that they don't need to see you so low. Usually, in depression, your mood isn't one you yourself want to be around, much less present to others!
        Going a step further, let's say you *do* allow someone in when you're depressed, and they offer you genuine caring.  You are left in an extremely dependent position, because you may not -- at that point in time -- be able to give much in return.  Most of us have a dignity that simply does not want to be put in that position.
        Also, depression often serves as a veil over fear, anger, jealousy, and other difficult emotions.  If you don't want to unleash these emotions on the people you love, and you can feel them surging beneath the threshold of your depression, then one strategy is simply to avoid people.  Unfortunately, this can worsen depression, because these emotions get released interiorly.
        On the other hand, as Dr. Jay Cleve puts it in OUT OF THE BLUES: STRATEGIES THAT WORK TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DOWN TIMES, "Any truly intimate relationship can serve as a solid base of support for depressed people when they feel helpless, frightened, or despairing. These relationships, when they are working well, provide a sanctuary from the pain of isolation and alientation; they provide a hopeful reality to counterbalance distorted perceptions and pessimistic conclusions."  It's certainly possible to reach a level of trust in which a depressed and a not-depressed partner can understand and support each other.  For many, that's achieved through entering counseling together, which can be done on campus through CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services; ground floor Gannett; 255-5208).

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Looking for Solace,
Perhaps in your regard for Elizabeth Barrett Browning you have come across this poem from SONNETS FROM THE PORTUGUESE that echoes your perceptions of this man:


        "Thou hast thy calling to some palace-floor,
         Most gracious singer of high poems! where
         The dancers will break footing, from the care
         Of watching up they pregnant lips for more.
         And does thou lift this house's latch too poor
         For hand of thine? and canst thou think and bear
         To let thy music drop here unaware
         In folds of golden fullness at my door?
         Look up and see the casement broken in,
         The bats and owlets builders in the roof!
         My cricket chirps against thy mandolin.
         Hush, call no echo up in further proof
         Of desolation! there's a voice within
         That weeps...as thou must sing...alone, aloof."


        As you may know, during Elizabeth's lifetime, people often referred to Robert Browning as "Mrs. Browning's husband"; as the NORTON ANTHOLOGY OF ENGLISH LITERATURE notes, she "was at that time a famous poet while her husband was a relatively unknown experimentor whose poems were greeted with misunderstanding or indifference."  Yet in the stage of her love for her husband described in the above poem, she feels much as you do:  low, poor, undeserving of his attention and his musical voice.
        She underestimates herself, and I'd venture to say that you do, too.  How can anyone whose heart responds to Elizabeth Browning's multi-dimensional poems be two-dimensional?  I wonder if you've been too quick to convince yourself that you should avoid this man, when you are irresistably drawn to him?
        I also wonder if you're basing your impression that he doesn't reciprocate your feelings on some abstract conversations about qualities in others that attract you.  Love is much more capricious than our carefully tallied thoughts.  We can conjecture all we like about who attracts us, and then someone comes along who doesn't fit that neat little list at all but who bowls us right over nonetheless.
        In other words, don't take his list personally.  Put more stock in how you feel, and in what you feel between you two.  If you know there's chemistry there, don't dismiss it too easily.
        That does NOT mean that you should go right out and tell him what you feel.  What you feel is a private matter that you can write poetry about, weep about, and frequently ponder in the depths of your heart. Expressing it is risky, in that it will change your relationship no matter what.  You'll want to take your time figuring out the right moment -- if ever -- to do so.
        But whether or not you do, you have this gift of these passionate feelings.  They speak of your many dimensions, of your heart's aliveness, of your vitality.  Those qualities are yours whether he lifts the latch and tells you himself that those are no mere crickets singing in your house, or if he remains singing alone and aloof.  You perceive the "golden fullness" of his presence, and that makes it yours as much as his.  Don't let go of that golden fullness, whether this friendship turns to romance, remains unaltered, or dies.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Working Student,
As you know, any earnings made under the Federal Work Study (FWS) program are taxable income and must be reported on a state tax return from the state where the income was made.  So you will need to file a 1999 New York State return for your FWS earnings last year, if all those earnings were made in New York State.  Many students do not earn enough during the course of the academic year for taxes to actually owe taxes, but if you put summer earnings on top of the academic year, taxes may kick in.
        The staff in the Payroll Office base any payroll deductions on the W-4 form you submitted.  They can answer your question by looking at how much you made last year and what deductions you requested. Give them a call (255-8176); write to them (uco-tax@Cornell.edu); or check out their tax department web page:
        .

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Californian Student,
No, the folks at Admissions aren't just being nice.  They have put your application into the stack of regular-decision applicants, where it will be reviewed afresh.  That does prolong your sense of being "betwixt and between", waiting with as much patience as you can muster to see what the results will be.  I do hope the next round of decisions brings your heart joy!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear In Debt,
This is, unfortunately, not an uncommon situation, in part because of that abhorent credit-card-company practice of hooking college students into a cycle of debt before they fully realize what hit them.  I shared your concerns with Bill Myers, Cornell alum and Manager of the Alternatives Federal Credit Union, who responds:
        "I trust you've learned from this and are now 'once bitten twice cautious.'  Can you imagine working most of your life to support credit card companies?
        "It is quite likely that the companies have charged off your debt.  This does not mean that you debt is forgiven.  Nor does it mean they won't collect.  Is means that they have classified the debt to you as un-collectible.  And yes, that does give you an opportunity to settle the debt at a discount.
        "Be aware that the card companies could have filed judgments which would give them the right to garnish 10 percent of your wages or attach liens against your house or car or other property you own. These liens last for seven years, but may be extended by re-filing.
        "You can't clean up your credit unless you address these debts.
        "First, order a copy of your credit report by calling:
        * Equifax 800/685-1111
        * TransUnion 800/888-4213
        * Experian (formerly TRW)  888/ 397-3742.
        The credit report will tell you the exact damages and how to contact each of the creditors.  It will also tell the creditors where you are, if they don't know and if they pull another credit report.
        "Second, build a spending plan.  Figure out how much of your current income you can devote to debt service.  This is important. Without a realistic plan, you won't be able to negotiate correctly, and you may get yourself into trouble again.
        "Third, call your creditors and offer them a deal they can't refuse, based on your spending plan.  Of course they'll want more. You'll have to convince them that your are offering them all that your are able.  You certainly can request payment without penalties (or fees) at a lower (or no) interest, or even waived interest and a re-aging of the account.  The last condition is important.  You want to be assured (in writing) that if you pay according to the new plan, your credit record will be cleared.
        "Student loans are a special case and can usually be resolved by making several monthly payments in a row.  You can't get new student loans with old loans in default.
        "Finally, follow the agreed upon plan.
        "If you don't feel comfortable negotiating this deal, talk to the Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Central New York, 315-474-6026. They're a non-for-profit agency and will negotiate payment plans for you.  They'll ask you to send them one monthly check which THEY will distribute among your creditors."
        Thanks, Bill!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Bus Passenger,
The Route #10 shuttle between downtown and Cornell, 10am-2pm, is a great convenience, I agree.  But its hours don't need to be expanded in order for you easily to get to your first morning class.  The #51 departs from the Green Street shelter (beside the former Woolworths, soon-to-be Public Library) at 9:40am.  This route arrives at Statler Hall at 9:51am and will give you time to get to your class.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear COLTSII User,
That's right:  Bear Access in its current form can't run under Windows 2000.  I checked with the folks at CIT, who say, "More important than COLTS II not working is the fact that Microsoft's Windows 2000 is NOT supported yet at Cornell  because it is still in beta test and will not be formally released by Microsoft until February 17, 2000.  Anyone using Windows 2000 at this time is either an authorized beta tester or has a pirated version of the software. Once Windows 2000 is officially released, CIT will develop Bear Access that runs under it.  All components including COLTS II will be tested to ensure that they work in this new environment."

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Engineering Student,
Yes, rankings by class year are available from the Engineering Registrar's Office, 156 Olin Hall (255-7140).

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Intermediary,
Unfortunately, "age of wife" isn't usually given in football profiles and stats!  I did some net searching on your friend's behalf, and found out that Kurt himself was born June 22, 1971, making him 28 years old at the moment.  I also read that Kurt's wife Brenda lost both her parents in one night not very long ago, which would have a sobering effect that might make a person appear older than her chronological age, at least temporarily. Biological age is often out of synch with chronological age, as you may have noticed:  People born the same year can look remarkably different in age.  That doesn't answer your question (which perhaps an Uncle Ezra reader with ample time to dedicate to this search will do), but does provide food for thought about judgments we make concerning people's ages.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Relatively New Car Owner,
How thrilling and nerve-wracking for you, all at once!  Taking good care of a car in winter is no simple task.  Here's what my mechanic contact John Russo has to say on the matter of salt and paint:  "Wash your car whenever it gets salt on it, every time.  The longer you wait, the more concentrated the salt becomes as the moisture dissipates or evaporates.
        "The good news is that the finish is the most durable part of the car.  That's the job of a good paint.  Wherever there are ANY chips, scratches, or any other breaks in the  paint's surface, though, they allow the salt an entry point.
        "The bad news is that, when you wash the car yourself, you're not washing the underbody, an important factor in the overall life of the vehicle.  As you can see -- if you live in the  North -- it's going to be, to varying degrees, a losing battle.  This is why Southern cars are highly prized by us in the North!"
        Thanks, John!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Alarmed,
That sticker gave you quite a shock!  I'm glad you're taking time to think through your initial reaction.  Your woman's explanation is not only plausible; it's far more likely than your worried conjectures.  Several medical uses of the pill are described in  Q10 of the 01/18/00 "Dear Uncle Ezra" posting,
where you'll also learn that some doctors prefer that *all* their healthy female patients take the pill (unless they want to get pregnant!) to reduce the risk of osteoporosis, fibrocystic breast disease, ovarian cancer, and other health problems.  Also, weight gain and weight loss are both possible side effects of Pill use.  For lots more information, please read the online brochure at .
        It sounds to me like you had no reason to mistrust your woman prior to this discovery and leaped to a conclusion based on not knowing the multiple uses of the pill.  I recommend explaining to her that you honestly didn't know all this and that you do now.  Then have a long, heart-to heart talk about what trust and fidelity mean to each of you, which are the issues this recent experience raises.  For a relationship to thrive, both partners need a bedrock feeling that they can believe what the other tells them.  Or if not that, at least they need an in-common understanding about when shades of truth, "white lies", or stories -- whatever you want to call something less than direct truth -- can be lovingly used.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Reader,
Thanks for noticing!  The staff at the Information and Referral desk realize that that code needs to be fixed and have it on their priority list.  Meanwhile, we get to imagine we live *way* into the future.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Heartened,
Wow, that's great to hear!  Nothing inspires the discouraged like knowing that good things really *can* and *do* happen when you keep up hope and persevere.  Thanks for letting us know!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Winter Wonderer,
For your enjoyment, we've got 16 inches of "white stuff" on the ground as of this writing.  I wasn't able to locate a site that summarizes snowfalls in various cities.  If you're interested in Ithaca, however, you'll find the daily/monthly/seasonal snowfall totals on the Ithaca Climate Page (http://met-www.cit.cornell.edu/climate/ithaca), particularly under "Daily Climate Updates."  Otherwise, checking the National Weather Service web site nearest the city of interest is your best bet.  The starting point for this type of search is: .

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Course Truth Seeker,
Thanks for the opportunity to mention Candid Courses, a great student-led initiative that began in 1987 and is now available on the web at .  The site gives students' evaluations for hundreds of classes in such areas as workload intensity, quality of readings, availability of help, competitive atmosphere, and educational value.  Some are not listed (for instance, the Chaucer class about which I received a recent inquiry), but more are added every semester.  If you'd like to get involved and help with the site, please write to Adam Shonkoff '00, Editor in Chief, ajs46@Cornell.edu.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Helpful,
Thanks!  You're right, and they're selling like hot cakes, according to Judy Eckard in the Transportation Office.  Must be the cold weather!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Quitter,
"Average" means both more AND less...some people have astoundingly hardy constitutions that can take all kinds of abuse; others are quickly affected by even slight health hazards.  Some people who smoke do get cancer at 23, but that's rare, and we can't be sure that smoking was the primary cause of cancer in their case.  What we do know for sure is that smoking does contribute to cancer risk, and that the body responds miraculously to our attempts to take care of it.  The sooner a person quits, the surer s/he is of living a full and healthy life.  You're adding years to your life by quitting.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Nephew,
You sound very clear:  You greatly appreciate this friendship, and you do *not* want to tell your friend that you're attracted to him.  It's absolutely okay to follow through on your desire to keep your feelings to yourself.  Think of this situation in more conventionally familiar terms: When a straight man falls in love with a woman who's already involved with someone, it's up to him whether or not to share his feelings with her. Likewise, you've got a reasonable certainty that your friend won't reciprocate, and you'd rather enjoy the friendship as is (even with all your own charged feelings) than risk the complications inherent in coming out to him.
        Do recognize that you'll be in an intense state of mind-and-body for awhile.  You're generating this passionate energy, and it doesn't have any tangible outlet.  That doesn't need to be frustrating; it can be transformative instead.  We're attracted to people who reflect back to us the wonder of our own being, and that wonder is now freshly available to you.  I hope you'll enjoy being in love, because the part of that love which doesn't get expressed in your friendship will be an internal guide to becoming the very best in yourself.

Uncle Ezra