Dear Uncomfortable,
In hopes of helping you feel better, I relayed your question to Dr. Jim Macmillan and Dr. Janet Corson-Rikert at Gannett, who in a joint effort respond:
        "Pilonidal cysts are painful swellings in the midline area of the back just above the 'tail-bone' area.  They may develop as the result of a foreign body reaction to 'ingrown' hairs, or because of blockage of the drainage ducts of hair follicles.  Nearly all affected individuals will at some point have an episode of acute abscess formation, in which a painful fluid-filled sac of secretions develops in the same area.  It may drain spontaneously or may require surgical incision in the doctor's office, which will significantly reduce discomfort.  Following abscess resolution, many patients develop a pilonidal sinus tract, a residual remnant of the cyst in the soft tissue. Most sinus tracts resolve, though a small minority may become chronically or recurrently inflamed, requiring surgical removal.
        "If you are still uncomfortable, you should consult a clinician regarding the need for incision and drainage or alternative treatment."
        Thanks, Dr. Macmillan and Dr. Corson-Rikert!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Curious,
Yes, it's true.  UVM freshman goalie Corey LaTulippe filed a legal complaint in December, 1999, claiming that the hockey team held preseason hazing, which he said included vomit-inducing and sexual rituals.  The school investigated, and then disciplined students they found guilty of hazing, which is strictly not tolerated at UVM.  A few weeks later, more information came to the school's attention, to the point where the school's administrators became certain they had been lied to by some players in the original investigation.
        On January 14, 2000, the President of UVM, Judith Ramaley, made a statement, which reads in part: "We have received credible information which indicates that a number of players were not completely truthful during our investigation of hazing allegations.  While the players provided extensive information in the initial investigation, we now know that some intentionally misleading statements were made...As we said during our investigation, any indication that players did not provide accurate, truthful, complete information would result in serious consequences... Therefore, it is with deep regret that I inform you of our decision:  We are terminating the 1999-2000 UVM men's hockey season, effective immediately."
        That is the whole story, without getting into particulars.  This decision had devastating consequences for the local fans, and the school, which lost approximately $200,000 in revenue that ice hockey brings in.  It also created difficulty and lost revenue throughout the league, through games cancelled, and threw off the season's schedule. But it sent a very powerful message about community standards as they relate to hazing, safety, and honorable conduct.
        If you want to read everything the school has to say about this, go to the UVM public affairs office web site: .

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Potential Perpetrator of Fraud,
I regret to report that your question requires legal research about federal and state laws that no one I know will do for free. Guess that's an underlying theme here...there's nothing free in life! The morality of the situation and its legality are hard to separate, since the laws are based on protecting moral standards.
        A teenager I know likes to play a gameboy version of the popular "Zelda," and he figured out how to steal from the store.  The problem is, after that, everyone he "meets" in the game calls him "thief." Your uneasiness is a psychological parallel of that.  Ultimately, your inner calm and the integrity of your relationships are worth a great deal more than any "free" gift.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Reflective,
Although we don't have a way to listen in on the employees' conversation and figure out what they meant, your explanation seems plausible.  As for incest, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition is "sexual intercourse between persons so closely related that marriage is illegal," but the word is most often used to imply sexual abuse by a close relative, in instances where a power differential makes consent impossible.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Researcher,
I appreciate the care and consideration you're giving this matter. I'm afraid the timing isn't working in your favor, though, because university guidelines stipulate that if you're using human subjects for research, even via a chat room forum, you need to go through the process of getting approval from the University Committee on Human Subjects (UCHS). The guidelines form on their web page (www.osp.cornell.edu/uchs.html) summarizes the process and states that it takes 2-4 weeks to complete.  So while it's possible that your project would be approved, you wouldn't be able to gather your data in time for it to be of use in writing your paper.
        If you have any questions, Araxy Terzian, Executive Secretary of the University Committee on Human Subjects, will be happy to speak with you. You can reach her at 255-2945.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Leaving,
If you'll simply be "on leave," with intent to return to campus, you can keep your netid for one year, according to Lisa Gregory-Mix, CIT HelpDesk Manager.  If you're graduating, you can set up free email forwarding (for life!) via the "CU on the Net" service.  For the complete scoop, please go to .  If you don't sign up, you can use your email account until it is terminated next fall.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear OR&IE Student,
You have hit the nail right on the head, according to Professor Rick Cleary, the Associate Director of OR&IE (assocdir@orie.cornell.edu):  "SOME of the sections take the full two hours, especially those that are computing labs.  To finish by 4:30 we have to allow for that.  Your suggestion that more start at 2:55 is worth investigating.  I'll ask our staff for some history and let you know if I find anything interesting."
        Thanks, Professor Cleary!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Sleepless Nephew,
I'm so glad you didn't go on tolerating the squeak, but instead realized you could do something about it!  I passed your letter along to Cliff Beckley at Sheldon Court (cb29@Cornell.edu), who was not really certain where the gate is.  He suspects that you're either referring to the gate at the City of Ithaca parking garage (sounds most likely to me) or to the Theatre Arts dock entrance door.  He had a printed copy of your message hand carried to the parking lot attendant, and he sent an electronic copy to Gloria Fulton with the Center for Theatre Arts (gjf3@Cornell.edu).
        If you're still hearing the squeak in a week or so (giving folks the benefit of the doubt for the time it takes to make repairs, which may fall on a prioritized list with other repairs), you can write to Cliff with more specifics; he seems eager to help.  You can also take a break from studying one evening to go over and talk to the parking lot attendant.  Find out the name and phone number of the person in charge of the lot and take your constructive suggestion to the top (of the pecking order, that is, not of the garage!).  And do let me know how this works out, especially if you're having a hard time resolving it...your sleep is very important!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Confused,
Your question: "Is this normal?" needs to be addressed.  I can't give you any reassurance on this, because a) no one has the final say on what "normal" is, b) there's no definitive text discussing whether attraction to people in casts is "normal," and c) I can't even tell if you want to be "normal" or not!
        What I do know is that an attraction of this kind is called paraphilia.  Paraphilia is a neutral term, nonjudgmental and meant only to classify the objects of one's desire.  If you go to the www.google.com search engine and look under "paraphilia plaster casts" for starters, you'll find that you certainly are not alone in your excitement over casts. You've already been to www.castroom.com, so you've had some experience of this.  You'll also find a professional research article on this particular desire.  From my research, a plaster cast attraction is on the "tame" side of sexual fantasies.
        The classic psychological explanation for the "cast" paraphilia reasons that the person attracted to casts has an erotic attraction to a condition of helplessness in others, or in themselves.  But you don't resonate with this explanation, so I think the pathway out of the confusion you feel is going to take further research on your part, as well as considerable reflection.
        What's really important with any condition of sexual variation is not the question of whether it fits in the range of "normalcy."  It's rather that the erotic attraction is not acted upon in any way to confuse, hurt, or otherwise subject other people nonconsensually to your fantasies.  From what you've said here, I wouldn't worry about your attraction to women wearing fiberglass or plaster casts.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Missing Home in Rochester,
It's good to hear that home is no further away than Rochester, so you can visit frequently and assuage your homesickness!  The 67 bus does stop at Clinton West shopping mall at the corner of Route 13 North (Meadow Street) and Clinton Street.  All you need to do is follow Meadow Street to State Street (two blocks), then turn left, cross, and go up another block to cross Route 13 South (Fulton Street), which will bring you to the bus station.
        However, it's no great picnic to walk along Route 13, much less to cross it.  So you might prefer to catch a bus that goes from campus to the Seneca Street/Commons stop -- such as #31 or #10 -- and then hop on the #14, which makes a stop right at the bus terminal.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Adoring Alum '98,
Sometimes it's those little things that prove particularly frustrating, especially when they involve our feet, which serve the very important purpose of keeping us both grounded and mobile.  Alas, though, none of my contacts seem to know any technique for shrinking shoes...and even if they did, it would be tricky to control the amount of shrinkage to get the shoe just right again.
        Textiles and Apparel Professor Peter Schwartz mentioned that heel inserts -- available at drugstores and supermarkets -- push the foot forward so that loose shoes will feel tighter.  But you'd feel lopsided if you wore an insert in your left shoe only, and if you wore one in both shoes, your right would feel too tight!
        If no other good comes out of this, you will at least have warned the whole Uncle Ezra readership not to let their friends try on their suede shoes!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Transferring Nephew or Niece,
First, I advise you to contact your college's advising center (*not* your faculty advisor, who likely won't know about the bureaucracy).  You will have to request a voluntary withdrawal in writing.  Some colleges have exit interviews to learn why students have chosen to leave.  The registrar of your college will put the withdrawal designation on your official CU transcript.
        For questions about loans, grants, and other financial aid, you need to speak with a counselor in the Financial Aid Office (203 Day Hall; 255-5145).
        Best wishes, wherever you're headed!  You're always welcome to write.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear New Fan,
I checked with Linda Jarschauer Johnson, Executive Director of the Cornell-in-Washington Program (ljj1@Cornell.edu), who replies: "The Summer Session in Washington has priority for residential space at the Cornell Center during the summer.  They most likely will not use all of the rooms, in which case we will rent them out to Cornell students.  The Center will be open from June 4th through July 28th. There are double and triple occupancy units, efficiences and one bedrooms respectively, which are fully furnished.  The rent for the summer is $1,470, which includes all utilities and local phone service.
        "Students wishing to be on the waitlist for summer housing, should send an email to .
        "The other universities in Washington (George Washington, Georgetown, American, Catholic) all rent out dormitory space during the summers, if our dates don't work or we don't have any space available."
        Thanks, Linda!

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Aaauuuggghhh,
The Cornell experience can be demoralizing.  Perhaps external factors are pushing you down, but, then again, could it be accumulated stress that makes it hard just now for you to be resilient in the face of pressure?
        Try to identify the source(s) of these feelings of inadequacy. Do other students criticize or degrade you, or are you getting a "contact low" from their own dispirited feelings?  Do the voices of others make it hard for you to hear your own wisdom?  Have you gotten a negative or even hurtful message from a professor?  Is your lack of confidence primarily academic or social?
        Once you ascertain who or what is stimulating your negative self-regard, then try to see these people and events within a larger context.  For example, many first year students come to Cornell with a sense of great accomplishment and potential.  When they find that most of their peers are as talented, driven, and smart as they are, they may resort to downgrading others to mask their own feelings of inadequacy.  Don't get drawn into that.
        If you have received feedback from faculty that made you feel less than stellar as a student, consider this.  You had to jump through so many hoops for so many years to become a Cornell student, that there is a sense of "I have arrived" once you get here.  Then when you discover that the point of being here is to learn, to learn a lot, which means making mistakes and trying again, you can feel that you're stupid.  But you're not stupid at all.  You just have more to learn than ever before, and if the faculty is going to teach you, they need to point out your errors.  If you could do every task well, you wouldn't need us, would you?
        Let's try to count the positives.  Are you taking any pleasure from learning -- inside or outside your courses?  What do you know now that you didn't know before?  Think of some good things that have happened with your work, your thinking, your classes, your social life.
        I think it would be very helpful to make an appointment with a faculty member or administrator with whom you've had good contact. This person need not have been your professor for a course.  You might have met him/her at orientation or a reception.  A warm and open conversation with an adult you respect can do wonders for your sense of self and feeling of belonging here.
        Remember that at Cornell, one of the secrets to enjoying life is taking initiative and acting in your own self-interests.  I know you can do that, because it's very much a trait that's "selected for" in our admissions process!  There are a lot of positive, supportive people here who want to help students overcome stress and demoralizing experiences.  We can't go prowling for you; we need you to come to us, just as you did in writing me.  I suggest you now go to the next level and have a conversation with a Cornellian who can reach out to you and remind you of how very smart, promising, and capable you are.

Uncle Ezra   

Dear Deeply Angered,
The determination of suicide was made by the medical examiner/coroner, not by the university.  Here is the information as Community Relations Director David Stewart received it:  "Medical Examiner Janice Ross of Auburn ruled the death a suicide due to
ingestion of an over-the-counter medication."
        The medical examiner typically employs an autopsy and laboratory results to arrive at conclusions.  The source(s) of all determinations -- such as police reports and rulings by medical examiner(s) -- are a matter of public record.
        The fact of a death as well as the causes for it can be very hard to accept.  Anger is often part of the picture when you're coming to grips with a loss.  That's particularly true when there's a shock involved, like believing for months that someone died of natural causes and then suddenly finding out that the medical examiner came to a different conclusion.
        Please let me know if you need further information or a chance to express more about what you're feeling.

Uncle Ezra